


Pretty Picture, Broken Frame

by hernamewasalice



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Adopted Sibling Relationship, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Ben is 17, Dark, Drama, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Fucked Up, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Modern Era, Rey Needs A Hug, Rey is 13, Self-Harm, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:47:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 51,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25889068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hernamewasalice/pseuds/hernamewasalice
Summary: Ben has always been in love with his adopted sisteror Ben Solo is a horrible person. There are two sides to every story.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 373
Kudos: 315





	1. Sweater

**Author's Note:**

> I think this is the first fic I wrote where Rey and Ben's age gap is small. They are four years apart 💕

Rey was five when Mom and Dad adopt her.

Ben was nine.

He doesn't even know why his parents decided to adopt given the fact they already had a child. Ben didn't mind that, but he did mind the stark contrast of how their parents treated them. They have Ben go to a boarding school while Rey went to a prep school nearby. It was transparent who was the favorite. It bothered him, given he was the only child who was biologically theirs.

Mom and Dad are so protective of Rey. They worry when she's spending the weekend at a friend's house instead of wondering if Ben was alright. Ben was only able to come back home during holiday breaks. He's been in boarding school since forever, but his parents can't bear to have their Rey apart from them. Whenever he was home, his parents barely give him any attention. He wasn't their precious little girl.

It doesn't help that Rey was well behaved and bright. She excelled in school and was musically gifted. Ben could do well in school if he wanted but he doesn't.

If you were his therapist you would conclude that the way his parents favored a particular child led to his resentment towards his adopted sister. Ben would tell you that you were right. He had different therapists over the years to alleviate his behavioral issues. Many of them cared for him and tried to have their words get to his parents but his parents never listen. Whenever a therapist said something they didn't like, his parents would hire another one. It was rather counterproductive since his parents wanted to solve his behavioral issues but failed to see that they were the problem.

Ben knows his parents don't love him. They replaced him with her. He was five when they sent him to boarding school and for the first few years he cried and begged to be with them. They never let him but with Rey, boarding school was never an option for her. They wanted Rey to live with them - to be there for her. Like every parent should.

The animosity he had for his adopted sister was strong. Especially with the fact with how sweet and friendly she was. Everyone loved her. Except him. He doesn't try to beg anymore to come back home. Instead, he does everything he can to be kicked out. It was hard since his parents simply pay the headmaster to look the other way.

But he's finally managed to get himself expelled. He's done certain things that his headmaster can't overlook. It's only taken him a while. He's seventeen. To his dismay his parents are stuck with him. It's only taken him twelve years after battling with his parents paying out headmasters and being transferred to a string of boarding schools.

You think he would be happy after finally accomplishing this. It's hard when he knows that Rey's happy that she gets to live with him. She's always happy with everything. He plans to change that.

* * *

Ben's coming home. She spends the whole week knitting him a sweater for his return. The weather hasn't cooled down yet but it will soon enough. Ben likes dark colors and so she makes him a black sweater. Rey didn't know his exact measurements and so she grabbed a sweater from his room. Hopefully he doesn't mind that she went inside when he wasn't there.

In between finishing the sweater, she's helping Mom cook dinner and decorate the house.

"Leia I don't see why you two are treating this like he's coming back from war and celebrating," Dad grumbled. "The boy got expelled from school. You shouldn't be rewarding him for that."

Mom gives him a look. "Believe it or not, Ben might be depressed about being expelled. I'm trying to lift his spirits."

Dad laughs. "That boy always has issues. He's always sad about something. You think therapy would have worked by now. We should be looking up military schools for that boy."

"I think therapy is the reason why he's been struggling. Those therapists think they know everything about him opposed to his mother. They've been putting all these ideas in his head that there's something wrong with him. That he has to be medicated or something. I'm happy we decided to take him out of therapy. There's no point in going through all that trouble when he has one more year left in high school. "

"If he _graduates_ ," Dad scoffed.

"Ben's smart!" Rey decides to say something. "He's just going through a lot."

Dad smiles and pets her head. "I can't believe you're already thirteen, kid. You're growing up. Can't you stay little forever?"

"Sorry Dad, I can't," she grins. She can't wait to until she was all grown up.

Rey finishes the last touches to his sweater in her room before wrapping it in floral printed paper and colored twine. She takes her time with it, wants nothing but perfect. Nothing but the best for her favorite person in the entire world. Dad calls for Rey and she hurries. They were all picking Ben up from the airport. Mom says she should wait to give the present at dinnertime but Rey was too eager for patience. She misses Ben and she was excited to see his reaction.

She only gets to see him a few times of the year. A few days to weeks at a time. She can't wait to see how much he's changed since he left. It's really interesting, watching him come back home all different every time. He's always been tall but somehow he manages to get taller. Every single time.

Rey grabs her purse and jacket and heads out to the car.

* * *

Ben sees Rey coming by, running to him like a dog running to her owner. It's like the scene of every movie, of a couple running to each other at the airport. Ben paints a smile and opens his arms out for her. "Ben!" she screamed in excitement.

He twirls her around, getting a giggle out of her.

Mom and Dad stop in place, couldn't help but to be stunned. He's never affectionate with her.

Ben smiles at his parents. "How long am I grounded?" he says in a light manner instead of a taunt. He wants to be on his parents' good graces.

"Not for long. Until you turn eighteen and legally I can kick you out of the house," Dad smirks. He gives Ben a half hug. It was still something at least.

"I missed you Ben," Rey said, clinging to him tightly.

"I know you do but let go. You're suffocating me."

Rey quickly scrambles down from him. She turned thirteen not too long ago and yet she still acts like a kid. It doesn't help with the fact that Mom and Dad still treat her like she was six years old. Rey was the baby in the family, always will be. "I'm sorry - I made you something," she shows him the present.

He smiles and pets her hair. "I already know I love it."

She beams. "But you haven't opened it yet!" she pouted.

"I don't have to," he grins. He wants to say that he doesn't want to.

"Ben!" she said with a glare.

He gives her a wink. "I've missed you."

She blushes then and gets all quiet for a moment. It amuses him every time she gets like that.

Ben knows something about his adopted sister that no one knows. Not even Mom. Rey has a little crush on him. It was so obvious, but his parents were blind. They think so highly of her while so lowly of him. As if it was impossible for someone to love him.

It's been on his mind for some time, about how he can spite them. Break their family apart. Mom and Dad don't love each other like they used to, but they loved Rey more than their own biological son. Maybe even life itself.

So what's the perfect way to hurt them?

Hurt the one thing they love the most.


	2. Blankets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> side note: I decided to have a profile picture after four years of being on this platform lmao
> 
> Story warnings: Ben Solo is fucked up

Mom and Dad find him suddenly spending time with Rey odd, since he never has before. But they don't think much of it since they assume he's trying to get on their good side after getting expelled. She's so much of a puppy, a naïve puppy. She's just his pawn, his pet. "Hey Rey, let's watch movies together in my room after dinner tonight," he tells her.

Ben doesn't even ask her because he knows she'll say yes.

She does. Always.

It's all too easy.

Ben doesn't even feel bad.

As much as he despised Rey, he doesn't mind her. She helps with his self esteem and ego. She idolized and adored him blindly, will follow him to the depths of hell for his affection. And Ben plans to take her on that offer.

* * *

Things are different with her and Ben.

Rey couldn't help but to happy. It doesn't feel real. She's usually the one following him wherever he went but now he wants to spend time with her. She usually has to beg for him to so spend time with her. Maybe it's because she's finally getting older. She's not a kid anymore and he sees that.

She tells Mom about it and Mom smiles, "I knew taking him out of therapy was the solution. He's been in a better mood and he's finally able to open up now."

Rey blinked. "I think Ben just needed to be home," she said carefully. She was always careful with that topic. Even to this day, Rey doesn't know why Ben goes to boarding school while she got to go school nearby. It was clear to her that Ben doesn't like being away. "I know he would never say it, but I know he gets homesick."

"He's fine dear," Mom brushes it off lightly.

* * *

Ben drinks a bit before she comes into his room later that night. He needed some alcohol for what he was going to do. Rey wasn't that much younger than him but she still felt so much of a little kid. He bought some pills from his friend from boarding school just in case his adopted sister gives him trouble.

He's thought about it for months before getting expelled if he wanted to go out with his plan with her unconscious. He decides not to for making her enamored with him will be at his advantage. His parents will feel more obligated to protect their son who had consensual sex with their adopted daughter opposed to their son who raped their adopted daughter. He's been thinking this through for a while.

He hears the door knock. "Give me a second," he said as he tucked away his stash of booze. Ben lets her in then and paints a smile on his face. "Hey."

"Hi," her voice squeaked.

She's nervous and he feels even more sick to his stomach for what he plans to do with her. Ben wonders if she even knows about sex yet. She's only in eighth grade, not even in high school yet. He should have drank more so he would be drunk. She wasn't even developed. Flat chest and bony all over. He shakes those thoughts away and holds her by her hand and takes her to his bed. "What do you want to watch?" he asked as he sets up Netflix.

"Anything is-s fine," she stammered, sitting up straight.

"You sure?" he asked. He can tell she was taken aback by how he held her hand. He never holds her hand. There's going to be more things he's going to do to her.

"Yeah. I'm not picky."

"Okay." He settles for some random suggestion and sits right beside her.

"I should have brought snacks," Rey says twenty minutes into the film. "I'm so used to eating while watching movies."

"We just ate dinner like thirty minutes ago."

She blushed then. "Oh yeah."

"It's late anyways," he reminded her. Ben lays down on his bed, slipping underneath his covers. He gestures for her to lay down.

Rey stared at him like a deer in headlights.

"It'll be more comfortable watching the movie like this," he coaxed.

She nodded shakily and slowly laid beside him. He pulls her closer. She yelps like a little kid she was, worsening his uneasiness about fucking a thirteen year old. Ben's not that much older. He's seventeen but when you're seventeen you want to be with someone your age and/or older. You want to be with a woman, a real woman and not some underdeveloped child.

He hugs her from behind, pressing himself against her. She's stiff in his hold, must be in shock. Maybe it would be better if she was unconscious. "What's wrong?" he asked, feigning innocence. As if he cared about her.

"N-othing. It's just you're close."

"I am. Are you okay with that?" he places his chin on her shoulder and snuggles himself against her.

"Y-y-eah," she says with a catch breath. "It's just going to take me some time getting used to it since you never do this."

He knows about her _little crush_ on him. She must be getting _wet_ from these insignificant gestures of affection. Ben's going to be her first and his parents are _really_ going to love that. He's going to ruin her. "I really missed you, Rey."

"I missed you too."

"You've gotten really pretty since the last time I saw you." The movie was playing in the background but she's not watching it. He may be facing her back but he knows she's not paying attention to the movie. She's too absorbed that he's touching her.

"Really?"

He mumbled into her hair. "Really," he keeps rubbing himself against her. He's trying to get himself aroused but it was difficult. She's just a child but he wants to fuck her at this age to make the news worse to their parents - that their thirteen year old daughter was pregnant.

* * *

She's liked him ever since she first laid eyes on him. Rey is reminded of this as she locked herself in her room. She doesn't know what she was doing. He just told her he liked her but instead of saying it back, she ran into her room. It was illogical but she got scared.

Never in a million years did she imagine him to like her back. She's sinking to her floor and cried. She's afraid Ben thinks that she doesn't like him. Rey wouldn't have panicked if it wasn't all happening so fast. First he invited her to watch movies with him and then they're hugging and then he tells her he likes her. She got overwhelmed.

She jumps up, hearing a knock on her door.

"Rey."

It was Ben. Her heart skipped a beat. He's checking up on her because he likes her. "Yeah?" her voice cracked.

"Are you okay?" he sounded so calm.

Rey bit her lip. She feels even worse now. He's not even mad that she ran the second he told her that liked her. She doesn't blame Ben if he changes his mind about liking her. He was older than her and way cooler. She's just a dumb old kid. "Yeah," her voice went low. "I'm just - I'm just sleepy that's all."

She hears Ben chuckle. "You didn't have to go to your room. You could have slept with me in my bed. Come on out, let's go finish the movie."

"No, I'm really sleepy. I rather be in my own bed."

* * *

Ben wonders if Rey knows about sex. She turned thirteen recently and he's not sure if their parents gave her the talk or if she learned it yet at school. He guesses that she hasn't since anytime he touched her, she freaked out and got confused. It might take him longer than he thought to get her to sleep with him. The pills in his sock drawer are starting to look more and more appealing.

The next day, he tells her again to watch movies with him.

She's hesitant to answer this time. It provokes him because she always says yes to him in a heartbeat. He didn't even do anything to her last night and yet she's acting like he did. There was no reason for Rey to be afraid of him. He's not used to seeing her scared around him. Nervous and flustered yes, but scared no.

He persuades her by telling her that he was going to get them snacks.

Ben hates how that was the thing that convinces her instead of the privilege of spending time with him. Ben really hates her, he really does.

* * *

He lures her with kindness the next few weeks, pulls her into a false sense of security.

Ben doesn't take her right away. He gives himself some time to be desensitized to the idea of having sex with her. He holds her and touches her whenever he can, attempting to convince himself that he could do it. That her pussy was any other pussy. He's had sex before but with girls he was attracted to. He was not attracted to Rey, his adopted sister that he watched grow up. She stopped playing with her dolls not too long ago.

It would help if she didn't still have her baby fat. He thinks about covering her face during sex but he reminds himself that he doesn't need to. They will have sex in the dark, he decides. He knows she'll be shy anyways and he's sure she wouldn't mind. Ben was trying to get himself aroused by dry humping her back. It doesn't help at all.

Ben grumbled. This was so frustrating because he was a teenager and teenagers were controlled by their hormones. He usually wants to try to fuck any living breathing girl but Rey manages to ruin that. She ruins everything.

"Let me kiss you," he says in a low voice. His hand is underneath her shirt, feeling up the tiny swells of fat. He wouldn't call them breasts, they were too small to be. His fingers tease her nipples in circular motions. He hasn't seen her naked yet. He's been holding it off because he doesn't want to see how boyish her body was. Ben hates touching her because it makes him feel gay. That he was touching a little boy.

"I-I might be bad at it."

He smiles at her. He already knows that she will be. "You won't, I promise."

* * *

Ben drinks in front of her now when they spend time together in his room. He knows she won't tell Mom and Dad. She cares about him too much to do so. He always tries to convince her to try some alcohol and drugs with him. She won't. He would shrug it off and take them to ease himself to the idea of sleeping with her.

Being high or drunk made it so much easier to touch her. Kissing isn't half bad when he's not sober. She's getting better with kissing at least, no longer sloppy as the first few tries. Getting sucked off on a trip is fun especially with hearing the background noise of his TV.

Sometimes he wished she would take the drugs that he offered her.

Maybe he'll have more fun with her unconscious.

* * *

There's power in three words. _I love you._ Those three measly words get girls to do whatever he wants. This wasn't the first time he's said this to get a girl in bed. Ben smiles at her and stroked her hair as she stared at him with large eyes. She's caught off guard but more so that she believes it. "I-I love you too," she said shakily. Her lips are curving as she said that and in the dim light she looks angelic. Pure.

But not for long.

"Everything's going to be okay," he reassured. He kisses her on her lips. He can feel her unraveling for him already. Her whole body was softening from it's tense form. He puts the blanket over them and gently presses her body to lay down. Ben reaches for the remote and increases the volume up. As if mattered. It doesn't since they lived in a big house with many rooms. No one was going to hear.

It's all too easy. From seducing her to telling her lies.

And he doesn't even feel bad.

* * *

It's fun having someone you know that loves you unconditionally - that will never leave. Ben likes that part about Rey, how trusting and blind she was. His play thing. His doll. He gets to try certain things with her that girls never let him do. Not even his ex girlfriends. She doesn't particularly enjoy everything that he tries but he doesn't have to worry about being rejected or dumped, especially by his adopted sister.

He loves the power he has with her.

Rey gets scared whenever he has sex with her when she's asleep but those three words solves everything Always. Sometimes he'll go into her room and have his way with her just because he knows he can get away with it. As much as he hated her, he loved the control he has on her. She does things that the girls will never do. Like lick his come off the floor whenever he tells her.

It doesn't take long to knock her up. Within the next month after they started having sex, she goes to him. "I haven't gotten my period yet. It's been a week and I'm late," she held her breath. She was ghost pale, worry lines laced on her face. "I think that...I" - she stops midsentence. She's so afraid that she can't even speak. Rey swallowed hard. "I think -

He thinks so too. Now here's the tricky part. He has to make sure Rey doesn't go to Mom or Dad. He doesn't want them to know until she's too far along for them to take care of it. "You should be fine," he coaxed. He can tell she was contemplating about going to Mom about this. Ben rubs her back, trying to shake the idea out of her mind. "You said so yourself that you started getting your period a couple of months ago either way. It takes some time for your body to regulate, especially when you start having sex."

"Really?"

He nods with confidence. "You should be fine."

Rey exhaled. "I'm just anxious - I should tell Mom just in case -

"There's no need. Rey I promise you everything's going to be fine. Besides do you really want Mom to know what we've been doing? Mom and Dad might kick me out and you'll get punished for not waiting. Mom and Dad will be so disappointed in you."

She starts crying then.

Ben pulls her to an embrace and tries not to smile.


	3. Love Notes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> side note: this started as a 3 part story then 4 and keeps extending. I promise this fic for sure will be finished.  
> //  
> to @choco1at I saw the comment you left me but for some reason I can't respond to it :( IDK if I accidentally deleted or Ao3 is acting up but thank you for the feedback 💕💕 So here's a quick update  
> //  
> Ben Solo is really, really fucked up

To her relief, Rey gets her period the following day.

She sighed to herself as she took some ibuprofen to help with her cramps. They have to be careful. She spent a whole week on her toes waiting, unable to sleep. Rey goes to Ben about it and tells him how he was right. He gives her a warm smile and laughs. "See? I told you that you were worrying for nothing," he says.

Rey nodded. "I know but still."

He pets her hair.

"We should really be careful from now on," Rey tells him. She shouldn't be having sex at her age, let alone getting pregnant. Mom and Dad will be upset with them. They might even send Ben away again. That was the last thing Rey wanted. She just got her brother back and she doesn't want him to go away.

Ben smiled at her. "How do we do that?"

"Maybe get condoms?" she blushed. She really doesn't want to have sex for a while but she wants to please him. He was older and a boy, and Dad tells her that boys always want sex. Dad also tells her to stay away from boys for that reason but Ben was different. She loves Ben and he loves her. They were going to be together forever, he promised.

"We can do that."

* * *

Ben decides to do some research after learning about Rey's current status. Apparently since she's not fully developed, it might take him a while to get her pregnant. She's really young and he learns the details about her. She only started her period four months ago and had only two cycles since then. He hopes to get her pregnant soon. He buys a box of condoms to her request. He knows she won't let him do her unless they had protection.

She was really serious about it much to his dismay. He doesn't like it when she was firm. He's so used to getting whatever he wanted from her. Even when they were little kids, she would give him all of her desserts whenever he asked and even give her some of her allowance whenever he ran out. Rey always had more money than on the account that she's too young to go out.

Rey never said anything about him poking holes in the condoms.

He locks himself in his room and nonchalantly stabs a few holes in each condom with a needle.

* * *

Mom and Dad are in the mood and so they force Ben to take Rey out. Ben makes a big deal about it. He doesn't want to be seen with his kid sister. Him and Mom fight for thirty minutes and Dad has to give him a hundred dollar bill to shut Ben up. Mom gives Ben her credit card to spend money on things. Dad says not to come home until ten at night. Ben groaned because that means he has to be out with her for eight hours. He hates whenever their parents were in the mood. They fuck like dogs.

Rey is happy about this. He can tell by how bouncy she was in his car.

He shudders. She's probably thinking that he's taking her out on a date. _This wasn't a date_ , he wanted to say.

"So where are we going?" she asked.

She has some lip gloss on that doesn't go well with her skin tone. He wants to tell her that she looks stupid. She's been experimenting with makeup because she's at that age. Ben doesn't like it. Rey had always been small and even though she was thirteen she still looked ten to him. She looks like a pageant girl with how much she coated her lashes in mascara and it creeps him out. Pageant moms were the worse for oversexualizing their daughters. And she smells horrible like flowers. She's been putting on perfume but she doesn't know that little goes a long way.

Ben shrugged. "I don't know," he forces himself to act happy. "Where do you want to go?"

"Can we go the mall? I forget which one it's called but it's outdoors and super fancy. They have really cute dessert places."

His jaw twitched. He knows which one she's talking about. All the rich kids like them go there to shop and hang out. Ben hopes he doesn't run to anyone he knows. "Fine. We can go."

* * *

Rey is annoying. She rambles on and on about everything. Ben wants to strangle her sometimes. She keeps trying to hold his hand. He doesn't let her. "We're in public," he tells her to wipe that pout on her face. She's so stupid. "People can't know," he said lowering his voice. "Mom and Dad won't like that."

"But Mom and Dad aren't here," she countered.

Ben rolled her eyes. God she's so stupid. "Yes but we might run into people we know." He hopes that he doesn't run into anyone from school. It wasn't enough that he's the new kid in his final year and everyone knows him. "Remember, you're still my sister even if we aren't related."

She nodded, unable to hide her sadness. "I wish we could date normally."

"I know," he snapped. He froze, realizing he broke out of character. She's staring at him as if he hit her. Ben frowned and returns back to the façade. In a softer voice, he says, "I know."

* * *

It's nice not having to date a girl for sex. Ben doesn't have to put the effort. He likes that he can use the sister excuse on Rey so he doesn't have to take her out on dates and get her things. She's shy but she always drops not so subtle hints about how she wants him to do boyfriend girlfriend things.

"Can you write me notes?" she asked. They were snuggling in his bed, hiding underneath his covers. The one thing he likes about having sex with Rey is that he can use her as practice. He's in between her legs, trying to figure out how to eat a girl out. Girls he's done this to say he doesn't do it right. Those girls were whores and sleep with every guy.

"Notes? What for?" he asked, popping his head out from the covers. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.

Rey shrugged. "I don't know. I just want them."

"You mean love notes?"

"Yeah," she nodded feebly. Her face is flushed now, realizing how dumb it was. "I hope that isn't too much to ask."

"It isn't. I can do that." Ben goes back to experimenting on her.

He doesn't plan on writing her dumb notes.

* * *

Rey doesn't know that he's also been fooling around with a girl from his new school. Her name was Kaydel. She's seventeen like him and says that her parents are gone tonight. Ben gets ready for the occasion. He's going to buy a new pack of condoms and some liquor from the gas station too.

He's already excited about doing Kaydel. She's said she's done it already. Which is good because he doesn't have to deal with crying like how he did with Rey. Kaydel has nice tits and she gives him blowjobs at lunch from time to time.

The one thing he liked about being in boarding school was that he got to do whatever the hell he wanted. At home, there was more of a challenge in getting laid. And he had his stupid sister clinging on to him like a puppy. He hates her, he really does.

He manages to get out of the house as quick as possible to avoid Rey. She was nosy, always had been since they were kids. She asked him more questions than Mom and Dad. Ben's pretty sure that they know he's not a virgin anymore.

Him and Kaydel fucking was nothing serious. She's in a committed relationship. Her boyfriend is two years older than them and was in the army. Her boyfriend doesn't know that Kaydel gets lonely whenever he was away. Ben doesn't want to get in between them. Kaydel's boyfriend is a good man, he gave her a promise ring when she was sixteen. Her boyfriend's going to marry her when she graduates.

* * *

Rey watches from behind the curtains as she sees Ben drive off.

Her heart skips a beat every time she catches him sneaking out. She moved away from the curtains and goes back into the living room to finish the movie with Mom and Dad. She doesn't say anything, doesn't want him to think she was a controlling girlfriend.

But she wonders why he always leaves the house without telling her goodbye.

* * *

He comes back home late at night. He doesn't bother to be quiet coming in because no one cares that he went out. Sometimes Ben makes loud noises because he wants his parents' attention.

Ben goes into the kitchen to get some food. Sex makes him hungry.

He finds a plate of cookies on the table.

Ben cursed underneath his breath. Oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. His favorite. He really hates his sister, he really does.

* * *

You must be wondering how he feels about being a dad.

Well, to be honest...Ben doesn't know. He's too young to be a dad and he also doesn't want to have a kid with his sister. It's too much responsibility but his hatred for his parents makes him overlook that he plans on knocking his sister up. The baby will be taken care of on the account that his family had money and they loved Rey. Nothing's bad going to happen to Rey.

He keeps thinking that the baby is going to be their parents and not theirs. Rey will be a good mom. She always did like playing with her dolls and house. A part of him hopes that Dad does send him away so he will never see the baby he made with his little sister. Rey will love the baby because she loves him. She won't get mad at him because she never does. Rey adored him even when he's shitty to her.

It makes it easier for him to stomach.

The next month slowly passes and Ben waits.

* * *

Rey was demanding. She keeps asking him to wear the sweater she made for him. She's more insistent now that the weather was chillier. He doesn't want to. He doesn't like being told what to do even when she's asking nicely. He hates her, he really does. The only thing he likes about fucking her is that he gets to have sex on a regular basis. And that he gets to control someone.

She misses her period again but he tells her not to worry.

* * *

His sister isn't feeling well now.

Ben tells her it was going to be okay.

* * *

His sister wants to take a pregnancy test now.

So he gets her one but from someone that he knows that sells special ones.

Ones that gives false negatives. He knows so many people from so many places.

He tells her not to worry. That she always had irregular periods anyways.

* * *

His sister wants to take another pregnancy test now.

She keeps throwing up.

Ben buys the same one he got the first time.

* * *

She's gaining some weight now. No one notices but them. She had always been underweight and everyone assumes she's finally at a good place. No one sees that the weight was mainly at her stomach because it was winter. She keeps crying to him about it and so he wears the sweater she made to shut her up.

Rey wants to tell Mom and Dad. She's scared that she might be sick.

He buys her a real pregnancy test. She's in his bathroom now taking it. He waits. Ben stares at the walls of his room to distract him from feeling guilty. He really hates his sister, he really does.


	4. Teddy Bear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> side note: I finally added titles to each chapter ✏💝
> 
> Ben is irredeemable. 
> 
> FUN FACT I was gonna end this story at this chapter but decided to continue it.

Time stopped the second she saw the marks appear. Rey stood in place, in disbelief at what she was seeing. She wants to cry but she's at a lost for emotions. She's numb and she doesn't know what to do. They were careful and she took several tests - how did this happen? Nothing made sense. She should have taken more pregnancy tests to confirm the status.

But now it's too late.

"Rey." There was a light knock on the door. "You've been in there for a while, is everything alright?"

Ben.

She doesn't know what to say to him. Rey doesn't want to leave the bathroom. She doesn't want to face reality. She's pregnant and she doesn't want to be. She's too young. She's not even in high school yet.

"Open the door. Everything's going to be alright."

Rey doesn't respond. She doesn't want to go outside. She just wants to stay here forever.

* * *

"I need to tell Mom," she said shakily.

"She's not going to be happy," he tells her. He knows his days of persuading her to wait were outnumbered but he wants to give the baby some time. He wants Rey to be so far along that abortion wasn't an option.

Rey scoffed. She glared at him. He takes a step back. It's the first time he's seen her genuinely annoyed at him. "Are you being serious? I'm _pregnant_ Ben," she emphasized. "There's a baby growing inside of me. The problem isn't going to go away by itself!"

"I'm sorry." He bit his lip and ran his fingers through his hair. Ben is trying so desperately to seem shocked and scared. Thankfully Rey was too much in shock to notice. "What do you want to do?"

"I don't know," she sighed. She sniffles then. She cries at every single thing that this moment had lost meaning to him. "I need to tell Mom."

Ben frowned but he forced himself to nod. "Okay."

"Don't worry. I won't tell them. I'll say it was someone else."

He looked up at her in bewilderment. "Why?"

"I want to protect you. I don't want anything to happen to you. I love you Ben."

Ben's heart skipped a beat. A part of him feels like shit. Even when he treats her like dirt, she still loves him. Would even throw herself under the bus for him. If she knew he poked holes in the condoms, she'll still feel the same. There was something attractive about that. "I love you too." He paused. He doesn't know why he did. "But I need to own up to this. I don't want you to take all the blame. I'm at fault too."

"No," Rey rasped. She grabbed his hand. He lets her. She's shaking her head frantically. "I don't want anything to happen to you."

"Maybe we should wait a little bit longer. So we can figure how to break the news to them."

She nods and sniffled. "Okay."

Ben squeezes her hand. He expected to be satisfied seeing the positive mark. He is but in an underwhelming way. Ben couldn't help but to be disappointed. He found more thrill in waiting, and so he looks forward to when they break the news to their _lovely_ parents. Rey. _Sweet Rey_. If only she knew how long he wanted her to wait.

* * *

Rey begins playing music on a regular basis again. Playing the piano always helped whenever she was sad. Mom and Dad are thrilled hearing her play again. She doesn't think that she's that good but her Dad claims she's going to be a star someday.

She doubts it but it was nice to hear.

"Beautiful, smart, and talented," Dad says fondly. "You're going to go far before you know it, Kid."

Rey smiled slightly. "Thanks Dad." She continues to play but she's not playing any particular song. She's mainly messing around, trying to create something pleasing. Ben is off somewhere again. Maybe he's buying some things for the baby. That was just like Ben, being so considerate. Rey should start too, maybe their baby will like a song or two.

Mom comes downstairs and dances around to the music. Dad twirls Mom around and it makes Rey smile. No matter how much her parents fight, they love each other like crazy. "What's the special occasion that we are blessed to listen to you play, dear?"

"No reason," Rey said. Involuntarily, she touches her stomach. She thinks she's going to keep the baby.

* * *

She notices a change in Ben. He doesn't kiss her like he used to. He barely touches her now. He doesn't ask to spend time with her anymore. Maybe it's because she's pregnant and things are different now. She misses sneaking up to stay late with him underneath his covers. She misses waking up to him on top of her and doing things.

Ben was pulling away.

And Rey doesn't blame him.

Except, she thought forever would be longer.

* * *

Ben's not used to her not following him around. It's so foreign to him. Unsettling. He knows that he's been pushing her away but he expects her to chase after him still. To knock on his door and beg to go in. She always does. Even when they were kids and he broke all her toys -even when he forgets to get her a gift on her birthday - she kept chasing.

That was the one thing that was constant in his life. Knowing that she'll be a puppy with him. A stupid puppy.

He's not afraid that she'll stop...it's something else.

Except he doesn't know what he's worried about it exactly.

* * *

Tonight he goes to Kaydel's place again to have some fun. A release. He keeps playing with her promise ring that her army boyfriend gave her. "Stop, that's weird," she says, swatting his hand from her finger.

He blinked. Ben's forgotten that he has to be cautious of his actions. Sometimes he does things that weirds girls out. He hasn't been on guard in a while since Rey always lets him do whatever he wants. She never thinks that he's weird even though he was. "Sorry," he said politely.

"It's okay just don't do that again," Kaydel warned. He watches her readjust her ring. She really loves her boyfriend. He finally sees why guys give girls promise rings, to lock them in to a promise. To be loyal. Ben didn't realize the power of low grade rings. Almost as powerful as three words. Kaydel takes another sip of vodka and relaxes altogether. "Come let's go back to the fun part."

Ben grins. Maybe he will get Rey one. To make sure she never stops loving him. Ben doesn't love her but he loves being loved by someone unconditionally. He never got that from Mom and Dad. Rey will do and has been since forever.

* * *

Kaydel agrees to go to a jewelry store after school tomorrow to help him pick out a promise ring. Ben makes sure to bring his credit card. His parents don't care what he spends money on as long as he didn't go over his limit. He makes up some lie to Kaydel about him wanting to win this girl from boarding school. She asked to see a picture but Ben explains that the girl doesn't have social media because her parents are strict government officials and want to keep up a certain image. Kaydel believes it given her dad is in the military and wishes him the best of luck.

She helps him pick one that Kaydel claims that all girls will like.

Rey better not complain to him anymore that he never gets her things.

* * *

Kaydel tells him how he should do it. Giving a promise ring he means. It sounds like a lot of work and he finds it pointless. He ignores everything that she says and decides to go Rey's room after dinner.

No frills.

No romantic crap.

None of that.

Rey perks up when she opens the velvet black box. Light flickers back into her and he feels at peace. He wants to break her but he doesn't want her to be broken with him. She can be broken to everyone else but him. Ben really hates her, he really does.

* * *

His mother should have known not to take in such a perfect little thing. Ben likes breaking things and now their little Rey is pregnant. He's not worried about what Mom and Dad are going to do to him. Their family was rich, and like any problem they used money to take care of it. Ben was spoiled and privileged. And he knew that. Sure they were going to yell and threaten his life but Ben knows it'll be temporary. He knows that Mom and Dad aren't going to kick Rey or him out especially since they also have an image to maintain.

Whatever happens, things were going to be alright.

He might be sent away for a bit and so will Rey but it'll be temporary. Rey can still go to school. Their parents will hire a nanny or a private teacher for her. Ben will most likely be forced to work when he turns eighteen but he doesn't mind. He knows that he'll be working for his family's company making way more than minimum wage. Nepotism at its finest. Things will be handled.

And that was the reason why he did it, why he deflowered his parents' precious perfect daughter.

You may ask him about the baby in her stomach and what he plans to do when it finally comes.

Ben's been thinking about it. He's going to be there for the baby. Give that thing more love than he's ever gotten. Be a better father than the man he's forced to call Dad. He never wants his kid to go through the same thing.

You may ask him what he plans to do with Rey. He plans to stay with her. Forever. But it's not what you think. You don't understand because you see, he has to be with her because no one will want her. She's pregnant at thirteen and going to be a mom. No one wants to be with someone with that much baggage. Especially since she's gotten knocked by her brother. It's the least he could do.

And you might counter that he was developing feelings for her.

No. He's not. The main reason he wants to be with her and get married - the whole nine yards was to sweeten his parents' misery. It was one thing that he deflowered their precious daughter but it was another thing that she decides to be with him for the rest of her life. Ben's sure Mom will try to convince Rey she's not obligated to be with him and that she can be with someone better. Ben's certain that Dad will force Ben and Rey be together. Dad's a big sexist fuck. Dad believes that boys should be playing the field and girls should be saving themselves for marriage. In Dad's mentality it was okay fucking whores before settling down as long as you marry a virgin. Dad says you want a wholesome girl to be your wife and not some immoral slut. Dad has major Madonna Whore Complex.

Ben really hates Rey, he really does.

Ben knows he gets his compulsive lying from Dad.

* * *

"I'm going to fucking kill him Leia."

"Han."

Rey was guarding Ben. Ben wish she wasn't. It's embarrassing. He can take care of himself. Ben keeps trying to brush away but she doesn't budge. She honestly thinks that Dad will actually do something. Dad's all talk. Ben's not at all scared of empty threats. Ben was rather underwhelmed by their reactions. He thought it will be bigger deal. 

"No. He went too far this time Leia. He slept with his sister! Rey is only thirteen and he took her innocence away."

Leia winced. "How can you do that to her?" she asked Ben.

"Because I love Rey," Ben answered. "It just happened."

Han laughs as if it was the funniest thing in the world. "You're a fucking liar. I know when you're lying."

 _You should know,_ Ben thought. But he doesn't. Instead he holds his tongue with grace. Oh how he would love to mock their parents but Rey was in the room and he knew better.

"You don't love Rey," Han glared at him. His hands were shaking. Ben can tell that Dad wants to strike him. He wishes Dad did. "You wanted to purposely get her pregnant to make everyone's life a living hell and ruin your sister's life."

"Dad I wanted it too," Rey said sheepishly.

Dad froze. Ben tries not to smirk. Must have killed Dad hearing things from his little girl. "You're only thirteen Rey," he said gently to her. Dad turns this Ben, mouth twitching. "But Ben's nearly a man, he knows better but he took advantage of you. What's wrong with you? You can't get any girl your age that you decide to settle for your sister? I don't know how you manage to out do yourself every time. It's pathetic."

"Han," Mom said firmly.

"We should've listened to the fucking therapists."

* * *

Mom and Dad are locked in their room, discussing on what to do.

Rey is anxious but Ben wasn't. He knows how this will all play out. But Rey doesn't. She thinks that it's the end of the world. It's not. She's afraid that they will make her get an abortion or give the baby up for adoption. They won't. The baby was half of Rey and they love her.

He takes her out of the house. There was no use in making Rey suffer in waiting for their parents to talk to them again. Ben doesn't even tell his parents that him and Rey were out. His parents wouldn't care. Rey and Ben are already in trouble, there was no way they could get themselves even in more trouble. Ben takes her to get some Japanese ube soufflé pancakes from her favorite café that was an hour away because she's been wanting it for days. She's been begging him to take her and so now was the best time so she can calm down for a bit.

She keeps playing with the promise ring on her finger instead of eating the damn food he got for her.

Ben was about to comment about how much trouble it was for him to drive here but he can't stop looking at the ring. The ring seemed prettier at the jewelry store. Don't jump into conclusions, he got her a nice ring at an expensive legit place but the band seemed thinner to him now. Like it's going to break. You can fix a broken ring but you can't fix a broken promise.

He doesn't say a word and Rey doesn't eat.

Ben really was a shitty brother.

* * *

Ben texts Mom that he's out with Rey to help cheer her up. Mom says to take their time and not to worry about coming home late. So he takes her around, to every place that's been on her list for him.

She's not that happy today. 

In the evening, he decides to check them in at a nice hotel. Ben uses his fake ID and the cash he had on hand to pay. He orders them room service and they ate in their hotel room and watched a movie together. It's cozy and eases them both.

The hotel room felt more like home than home ever did.

They did this once, checked into a hotel room on their own. Or rather Ben did and he had Rey as his accomplice. He was fourteen when he decided to steal Dad's car while their parents were away at a conference. Rey was ten and she was a witness and so Ben took her with him. Of course their parents got mad since Ben and Rey could have used their chauffer to take them places. It's crazy to realize how not long ago that was. It felt like ages ago. In a few months it'll probably be them coming here again with the baby to have a day away from Mom and Dad.

Ben runs her a bath and he smokes on the patio. When he hears her getting out of the tub that's when he puts the cigarette out. He chews on some complimentary gum first. He hears her blow drying her hair. He goes inside the room and rinses his mouth out just in case. He decides to brush his teeth altogether. They weren't prepared to go here but at least this place had a lot of complimentary items. Rey's able to brush her hair with the free brush offered in the basket.

She puts on her clothes and slips in bed. He joins her. She starts crying again. She always cries but at this point he's used to it. Ben touches her again but he stiffens when he feels something kicking him. He looked down at her stomach. It's the first time he felt the baby.

The baby was there. And it's not going anywhere.

Ben rests his head on her shoulder. "Everything's going to be okay," he tells her for the hundredth time. "Mom and Dad aren't going to kick us out." Ben knows they won't. It's kinda sad how much faith he had in their parents than Rey. He lifts his head and wipes her tears with the comforter. Ben really hates it when she cries. "And I'm going to be with you forever."

"Promise?"

"Promise. We're going to be together forever." He got her into this mess and hell and so he has to. He bends to kiss her mouth. Ben decides to give her a sweet kiss after years of being sour to her. One kiss wouldn't make up for it but she loves him so much that she accepts it. Ben knows this. "I really hate you," he whispered to her in a solemn voice. "I really do."

She giggles then. "You're a liar."

And he was. Ben really hates her but he also loves her more.

* * *

Ben's not sure if they were able to have sex when she's pregnant but they do it either way.

* * *

Rey was three years old when Ben first meets her.

He was seven.

* * *

_There had been a bunch of kids coming in and going into the Solo house over the last year and a half. Leia and Han are trying to find a right match for their family and most importantly, the right sibling for Ben. It's a long tedious process, more complicated with the fact they already have a child. The social workers did more check ins to make sure Ben was handling the idea of having another edition._

_Jealousy was common._

_And the social workers were extra meticulous, weary of incompatibilities between the biological child and foster child._

_Ben was a handful child to say the least, but Leia and Han always wanted to have a girl. Leia can't have anymore children on her own. Leia loves Ben but he's been making the whole process difficult. Leia and Han can't really punish him since he's only seven. They've had talks with their son but he doesn't understand. So for the past year and a half, there was nothing but issues. It was a lot as it was that Leia and Han were under the microscope. And to make matters more stressful, their son was too. How the social workers felt about the compatibilities with a foster child and their son was the major deciding factor for the next step._

_They only make it so far until their son ruins it._

_It was so frustrating to know that their son was the main deciding factor._

_So far Ben hasn't liked any foster child that he's met. And the social workers know that. Ben has been very vocal about his disdain for all the children he's met. He's rude to every foster child and territorial with his parents to a point that many of the children were even afraid of him. Ben was a kind boy, just very sensitive about being replaced._

_Leia and Han hopes that their son will like Rey._

* * *

_Ben keeps throwing the bear on the floor. His mommy gave it to him to give to the new possible sister. He doesn't want to give it to his new possible sister. He doesn't want a sister. He just wants it to be him and his mommy and daddy._

_Mommy sighs and picks the bear up. "Ben remember what I told you," she says firmly. "Best behavior. The nice lady is going to come soon with Rey. Aren't you excited to meet Rey?"_

_"No."_

_Mommy and Daddy sigh._

_"Hey sport," Daddy says with a smile. "Let's play a game. If you can be nice during the whole playdate I'll take you to the toy store. I'll buy you whatever you want."_

_"I already have everything I want," Ben says._

_Daddy says a bad word then._

_Mommy glares at Daddy._

_Ben kicks the bear out of his Mommy's hands. "I already hate her."_

_"No you don't," Daddy says. "You haven't even met her."_

_Ben crossed his arms. "I already do! I hate her! I hate her!" Ben screams his lungs out._

_The lady comes with his possible sister. Rey is small, with bouncy curls and stubby legs. She smiles at him shyly before hiding behind the lady._

_"She's much too little," Ben says. "How can I play with her?"_

_"She'll grow," Mommy says gently._

_The adults sit down on the couch and Ben is left alone with Rey. She's just standing there, looking him with big eyes. Ben glares at her, keeping his arms crossed as ever. "I don't like you."_

_Rey laughs._

_Dumb baby. She doesn't know what he's saying._

_She goes to the bear._

_Ben snatches it from her. "Mine."_

_She starts crying then._

_He laughs._

_She stops crying and laughs too._

_Ben huffs and throws the bear on the floor. She runs to him with her stubby legs and touches his shirt. "Spiderman," she beams._

_He hits her hand away._

_Rey picks up the bear and hands it back to him._

* * *

_One thing led to another and they're playing with each other. Leia and Han looked at one another in amazement. Ben never plays with any of the foster kids that he's met. What was even more surprising was that Ben and Rey seem to get along. Ben ends up crying when it's all over._

_Leia scoops him up into her arms. "It's alright, you'll get to play with her next week."_

_Ben sniffled. "I better."_

_"So Sport, how do you feel about having Rey as a part of our family?" Han asked Ben._

_"I don't want anyone else in our family," Ben says certain as ever._

_Leia and Han sighed._

_"But," Ben said slowly. "If I had to have a sister, I want Rey to be my sister."_

_"Really?" they both asked. This was a first. He's never said that about anyone._

_"Yeah. She likes me even when I'm mean to her. And she listens to everything I tell her. So I pick her as a sister. Not anyone else before. I even told the lady too."_

_"You did?" Han was surprised._

_Ben shrugged. "Yeah. I just wanted the lady to know so she doesn't give Rey away to another family."_

_Leia kisses her son. "I think he'll warm up to her," she tells Han. It's going to be a long process given how young Rey was._

_"I think so too."_

* * *

Mom calls. She's looking for them. And so Rey and Ben head back to the house.

The radio was on but he can tell Rey wasn't listening.

She was waiting.

And so was he.


	5. Plastic Rings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben is messed up and confused. But he is just a kid and so was Rey.

There was a time where Ben didn't hate Rey.

He used to be a good brother to her too.

* * *

Ben's not sure if they were able to have sex when she's pregnant but they do it either way.

They were in the safety of a hotel room. No one to worry if they were making noise. He still pulls the sheets over them for more privacy. The AC is running to cool them down from being underneath the layers of blankets. The bed was nice and cozy. Soft too. Hotel rooms always put him the mood to do it. He kisses her a bit because that's what you're supposed to do when having sex.

She's giddy now, giggling ever so often. Like a little girl. Ben can't help but to be amused and laughed. Rey was always silly. He could never take this seriously. Ben's pretty sure you're not supposed to be laughing during sex. Ruins the whole vibe.

Rey's really wet, excited as always.

She makes it really easy for him to put his cock in.

He works his way in her, a little bit slow for obvious reasons. They're not sure if they are supposed to be having sex but pretty soon Ben finds his pacing. Her hair is wet from the bath and clinging to his skin. Her arms are draped around his neck and drowning him in her scent. Her hair smells nice, smells like cucumber shampoo and not strong tween perfume.

He can see her face in the dark. The TV screen was much brighter than the one in his room. She has stars in her eyes even though he can tell she's anxious about being pregnant and doing this.

Ben mumbles weakly as he feels her getting tight around his cock. It's a tight pinching pain. She's close - gonna come on his cock. He keeps going. They don't even have protection. They should be fine right? Since she's already pregnant. Her body gets all tense as her legs twitched about. "Fuck," he grunted. He breathes into her hair as she tightened her hold on his neck. Her legs are giving out and her pussy was relaxing. She's whimpering, jerking back repeatedly.

Ben shudders. He can feel her quivering and coming on his cock as she made little cries. She's so warm. She's coming so much.

It makes him come too.

* * *

Couples kiss and do things. Rey likes it but she still likes it when they're also being brother and sister too. They barely had time for that growing up with Ben being mainly away. She's hugging him in the big hotel bed and snuggling his shoulder after sex. His skin is slicked in sweat and so was hers. The AC was keeping them cool. Ben set it really low so it was deliciously cold. She likes keeping herself warm with Ben.

She sighs softly. "Just like old times?"

"Just like old times," Ben says as he covered them up with the blanket.

* * *

"Just like old times?"

Ben blinked at her words. Not exactly like old times. Sex was new but he understood what she meant. She was referring to the memories they have together as kids. It's similar but not the same.

"Just like old times," he responds back.

* * *

_Rey's not used to sleeping alone._

_Ben knows this. She's used to sharing a room with a bunch of other foster kids. Rey's scared of monsters. Ben keeps telling her that monsters aren't real but she's only three. She's not as old as him, Ben who was the all knowing age of seven. Ben doesn't tell Mom and Dad about it because he's afraid they'll think she was a burden and won't want her. Mom explains that Rey sleeping over were trial runs to say how it goes._

_He really likes Rey and doesn't want her to go to another family. He wants her to be his sister._

_So he sneaks in her room every night to sleep in her bed and keep her company. Sometimes it takes her a while to sleep. So they make tents out of blankets and he reads her a story. Ben makes sure to leave early before Mom and Dad wake up._

* * *

Everything plays out just like Ben predicted.

One, their parents let Rey keep the baby. Mom says it might be more damaging for Rey not to.

Two, Mom and Dad say the second Ben graduates high school he has to go work at the company to support Rey and the baby. Which Ben doesn't mind. It's expected of him given Rey's younger. Mom and Dad will financially support them until Rey turns eighteen and Ben will be solely responsible for her and the baby. Which isn't that bad. Rey won't be eighteen for another five years. It gives him time to save up.

Three, Mom and Dad will still pay in full for their schooling and college. They were planning to do that for Rey and Ben from the beginning and that wasn't going to change. Ben was open to their parents that he wants to hold off college for a bit to work and save. His parents are fine with that and say if he does well, he can move his way up in the company. His parents cared more about Rey having a formal education than Ben.

Four, Mom and Dad are going to send Rey away until she gives birth. They have an image to maintain and they want the pregnancy to be kept a secret. They plan to tell their friends and colleagues that she's studying abroad. In reality, Rey will be sent to the countryside and have a private teacher that's under a legal contract to keep quiet. Ben has to visit Rey every weekend or else.

Five, the weekends will be dedicated for parenting classes.

The plan is clean and precise, just like Ben predicated. The way their parents were handling this you think it was a business transaction opposed to discipline. There's no real consequences it feels besides bringing a baby into the world. Ben knows that he and Rey were really privileged and spoiled.

Six, Ben and Rey can't have sex anymore.

That doesn't really matter to him. It wasn't like he wanted to have sex with Rey to begin with. Ben could care less. It wasn't like he took her out for one last time or anything.

* * *

Ben is responsible with getting food for Rey whenever she had cravings. Ben doesn't put a fight about it. He takes every chance he can get that lets him get out of the house with their parents on their case. Ben doesn't really mind. He's lived plenty from being at boarding school. He picks up her request, a strange combination of barbecue potato chips, pickles, chocolate, and pasta from her favorite Italian place. When he gets back home, he hears a huge commotion.

Rey sounds very distressed.

He comes rushing in and sees Dad holding Rey's hand while she was attempting to wriggle out. Dad's trying to take Rey's promise ring away. Rey's crying, begging Dad not to take it. Dad ignores her desperate pleas and yanks it out of her finger without any hesitation. He tosses it into the trash as if it was a cheap plastic ring. And maybe that's how Dad sees it, a toy ring - a worthless childish hope.

Ben looks at Rey. She's quiet staring helplessly at the trash. She's devastated. To Ben, it's just a ring but to her it meant more. And for her to witness it being trashed so easily ripped her up to pieces. To her it was more than a stolen ring. It was stolen promise. Belittled by their youth that they were incapable of feeling complex emotions.

He can tell that she wants to get the ring out but she's too afraid of Dad. Ben couldn't help but to be pissed off. He got her that and only Ben was allowed to take things from her. Not anyone else. Not even Dad. No one else was allowed to make her cry either.

Before Ben could dig the ring out, Dad's throws garbage into the bag purposely. Cigarette ashes. Fruit peels. Egg shells. Broken glass.

"Go put the food on the counter, Ben," Dad ordered, snapping his fingers at him. "You're going with me."

* * *

Dad makes Ben get in the car.

He drives them to the park where he taught Ben how to ride a bike. The park was nice but they weren't here for it.

They sat there in the car in silence as they watched fathers playing with their children.

It was a bittersweet moment seeing so much happiness pass them by. Of children laughing. Of fathers embracing their children. Ben used to be that close with his Dad. But it was gone and had been for a while. "I know what we're going to talk about," Ben exhaled. Dad's going to lecture him about taking responsibility. It was inevitable with how tamed the first conversation was. "But can you answer me this one question? This one question has been on my mind for years."

"Go for it," Dad said in a low tone. He's adjusting the mirror but there was nowhere for them to go.

"Why was I sent away?"

"We wanted the best for you," he responded simply. "So we sent you to the best school."

Ben frowned. He's a fucking liar and Ben gets it from him. "Dad. If you're going to keep up with that lie, how come Mom and you never sent Rey there too? Be honest with me."

Dad took a deep breath. "Your mother and I were afraid you were getting a little too close to your sister."

"That's a fucking lie!" Ben yelled. "I was sent to boarding school way before Rey came into the picture."

Dad raised his eyebrow at him. "No. What are you talking about? Ben we sent you to boarding school when you were seven."

Ben blinked several times, perplexed by his father's statement. Ben examined his father and studied him. He always knows when his father was lying and Dad wasn't lying this time. He forgets that sometimes, children's memories aren't the most reliable.

"You were very attached to her. You used to carry her out of her bed and into yours."

Ben's eyebrows furrowed. "I did?"

Dad laughs. "Yeah. You did. You attacked any kid who wanted to play with her in that playground over there." He points at the playground.

"I remember that," Ben said. Ben didn't want anyone else to have Rey's attention.

"We didn't think much of it but the social workers were starting to become worried," Dad paused. Ben can tell Dad was regretful in his choice of words. To Ben, Dad said it perfectly. Dad sighed. "...and we really wanted to have Rey in the family," he said softly.

"So you and Mom sent me away. And got rid of me."

"I didn't say that."

"But it sounds like it."

* * *

They don't say much after that. Dad already said enough. They sat in silence for another hour before Han drives them back home.

Perhaps, Ben always knew the truth but his mind refused to believe it and blocked it out. And for years he believed his parents sent him away for no reason and that they didn't love him as much as Rey. He didn't like how he was right about the last part. What made it worse was even when his parents were approved to have Rey, they never brought him back home.

Maybe, he did know the truth and that was why he distanced himself from her over the years. The reason why he was cruel to her. They could have been close. They could've been the family his parents always wanted. Maybe all the problems he had would haven't ever existed.

It's fucked up to know that he was sent away for trying to look after her. His parents and the freaking system were paranoid about a little boy trying to be there for his sister. They were afraid that him sleeping with his sister would lead to something else. How sad it was that what they feared the most actually came true.

His parents were to blame for Ben did to his sister.

They made it happen.

Dad drops him off back at home. Ben knows where Dad's going to go. Dad was going to go drink and drive around until his emotions fade away. Ben doesn't say goodbye and heads into the house.

Ben decides to check on Rey first, to see what she was doing. He finds her in her room, munching on potato chips. She was watching a video on her phone when he comes in. The whole image doesn't sit well with him. She's going to have a baby and she still acts like a kid. "Is everything alright?" she asked. She offers him some chips.

Ben shakes his head, frowning at her. "No." He wants to slap her for making his entire life hell. They used to be close but it was short lived. He just wants to make her cry and hurt her. He hates her, he really does. He can tell she senses his anger and she quietly moves the bag of chips away from him.

"No to the chips or to the talk with you and Dad?" she asked timidly.

He notices a few band aids on her hand. Ben grabs her by her arm and pulls her to him. "What's this?"

"Oh. I accidentally cut myself while getting my ring back," she says feebly.

Ben looks at her finger then. She has her ring on. "I can't believe you dug in the trash for it. Freaking scavenger."

When they were little, Rey had a habit of digging in the trash. She was abandoned when she was two and developed that habit to survive before being found by the landlord. It took years of therapy for Rey to learn that she had a better family and that it wasn't going to ever happen again.

It wasn't just any tiny problem, it was a huge psychological problem. Being abandoned as a kid affected her development greatly. She's on the smaller side because of that. She wasn't found until three months later and survived on expired food and eating whatever was on the carpet. As a kid, Ben didn't understand what was happening and found her digging through trashcans in the middle of the night funny.

"Of course!" she exclaimed with fury. "It's mine. And I wanted it back!"

"You're fucking hurt. It's not even worth it!" he yells back. God she's so immature.

"Yes it is!" she shots back. "It means _everything_ to me. It's proof that you love me."

"I don't care about the damn ring being trashed. You don't need fucking proof that I love you and crap."

"I do need proof!" she screamed again. "The reason why you don't care that my ring was thrown in the trash because that's how you see our relationship. Disposable."

"Shut up. You're a fucking ungrateful brat," he hisses. She hates being called that and he uses it sparingly to add an extra blow.

"How am I a brat?"

"Because you literally just admitted that you need things as proof. Don't fucking equate our relationship to fucking materialistic items. Because they're not the same. You got yourself cut up. What's the point when Dad's going to throw the ring away the next time he sees it?" Ben inspects her hand. He doesn't trust her that she disinfected her cuts correctly so he double checks. She makes a big deal about it and whines. He hushes her to shut up. God. She even got the palms of her hand cut up too.

Her face fell. "Oh." She swallowed hard and traced her fingertips along the band of her ring. "I didn't think of that."

Ben sighed as he tightened his grip on her hands. "I just want to hit you for being so stupid." It's not even fucking fair too. She's probably gonna get scars and she doesn't even get to keep the thing that caused it. "How can you fucking think I don't care about you?"

"I'm sorry," she sniffled.

"You better be," he said coldly. "I was going to dig it out for you when I got back. All you had to do was be fucking patient and look you got yourself hurt."

"Really?"

He doesn't answer. "Stop crying."

Ben yanks her and kisses her hard.


	6. Play Dates

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey are just teenagers - immature, impulsive, and emotional.
> 
> p.s. sorry for the long chapter 🙃

_"Rey!" Ben yelled. He snatched his shirt from her. "Rey! Stop it! I need to pack."_

_She doesn't listen and proceeds to take out all the folded clothes from his luggage. "Stay," she pleads. She's crying then. Rey always does._

_"You know I can't. I have to go back to school."_

_Rey shakes her head, her pigtails swaying with her. "Don't go."_

_He sighed and yanked his clothes from her hands. If mom was here to see this she would scold him for being too aggressive with his sister. Rey was only six. She doesn't understand. "I wish I could."_

* * *

Ben's out tonight with Kaydel. They were at her place drinking through her parents' cabinet. Her parents won't come back until next month and so they were able to smoke some weed without worrying about the trail. "So Solo," she says as took another sip of her vodka. "Did you give the promise ring yet to your girl?"

Ben exhaled as he moved the joint away from his mouth. Oh. That. "Yeah, I did."

She raised her eyebrow. "And?"

He shrugged. Ben's trying to forget about it - life. The whole damn situation. Mom and Dad moved Rey out to live in the country side. Ben doesn't care that she's gone. He doesn't miss her. He just wants one second of peace without having to talk about her. "She liked it but her Dad found out. He doesn't like me and so he took her ring away."

Kaydel frowned. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright. You know how dads are with their daughters."

"Are you guys still together though?"

Ben made a face and inhales his drink. "Yeah."

She frowned. She couldn't help but feel sorry for him. She could tell Ben was torn up about his girl's father not liking him. "Do you want to fool around? That might make you feel better."

He nods.

* * *

Ben and Kaydel put on their clothes once they finished.

"I'm sorry that didn't make you feel better," she says. She's popping some mint gum into her mouth after swallowing his come.

"No it really helped," he assured her.

She smiles at him. "You don't have to lie to me. I can tell you're torn up about the whole situation."

"No. I'm not." Ben paints a smile for her. He couldn't help but to feel remorseful - not for Rey's sake but for Kaydel's. Kaydel out here was trying to make him happy. She's really nice and he knew damn well he didn't deserve it. If only she knew that he got his little sister pregnant. She would certainly be disgusted by him.

She laughs and rolls her eyes. "Okay Solo." She stops then and picks up his phone on the floor. "You dropped this."

Ben takes it then. "Thanks."

"I'm going to go to the bathroom to pee. To avoid UTIs and stuff."

It's Ben's turn to laugh then. He props himself on her bed and checks his phone. Shit. He missed three video calls form Rey. Ben checks his inbox but she left no text messages. He hates when Rey does that. She was mainly a caller and face timer than a texter. He shakes it off and tells himself that she's okay - that she's just feeling lonely and wants to talk to him.

He'll talk to her later.

He's such a god damn liar.

Ben knows he's going to crash the second he gets home. He hates her, he really does. He never wants to see her ever again.

* * *

The next morning before Ben goes to school, Mom sits him down.

"You know I have to go to school," he points out.

"We pay for that school. It's not like attendance is an issue."

Ben bit his lip and sat back down in the chair. He sets his backpack on the ground and proceeds to grab another waffle. He eats it plain without any butter and syrup. He usually doesn't have time to eat with how late he wakes up.

Mom frowns and sighs. "Ben. You have to be responsible - you can't be going out like this. You're going to be a father before you know it."

"It's the exact reason I'm going out. I want to enjoy what's left of my freedom before Rey has the baby."

"You should be taking care of Rey instead of going out."

He laughs then. "How can I?" he asked bitterly. "You and Dad sent her away." Mom doesn't say a word because he's right and she knows it. "I only see Rey on the weekends either way. You can't expect me to do nothing on the weeknights. My life doesn't revolve around her."

"Except it does. Your life revolves around her and the baby you made with her," Mom bit every word out. "You need to be kind to her. She's not just your sister anymore. She's the mother of your child. You should set some time to call her or video chat. You need to make her feel that you're there for her."

"I am here for her," Ben emphasized. He puts his waffle down. Mom made him lose his appetite. "You can't put me down for having some fun. If you want me to be attached to Rey twenty four seven you should have sent me with her. So stop pointing fingers and blaming me."

"Do you want to go and live with her?" Mom asked in a calm tone.

He went still. "No. I don't."

* * *

Ben hates being at home. Never in a million years did he imagine it would come to this. This was everything he had wanted and yet...he felt empty. As if someone had died. It's eerily quiet now since Rey was gone. And Mom and Dad aren't their normal selves. She wasn't exactly a loud person but she had a strong presence in the house. Everything revolved around her and now she was gone.

He now understands the name that was given to her. Everything seemed lifeless now. Dark.

He doesn't miss her - he just hates seeing Mom and Dad miserable. He hates living at home and feeling that he doesn't exist. It's all about Rey. Always. He hates everything about her. How everybody liked her despite how annoying she was. Ben doesn't miss her bothering him but he sort of misses feeling welcomed at home by someone.

Mom and Dad could have locked Rey in the house and hire a private teacher so she wouldn't have to be sent away. Ben would simply never let her out until her water broke. It would have been easier. But the reason why Mom and Dad didn't go with that direction was because they wanted Rey to have the freedom to go outside the house and go wherever she pleased.

Ben doesn't mind if she was kept locked up.

It'll be more convenient for him. He doesn't have to drive around for her if she was.

* * *

The one thing Rey requested in her new home was to have a piano. Any piano. It didn't matter what year or model. She just wanted one to keep her company. She's been playing regularly now to help with her emotions.

Her parents are the best and got one that was the same at home. It was a rare edition and had to be flown from Belgium. It took a while for her to tune it in but she's able to play soon enough. Her caregiver Theodore loved hearing her play. She calls him Three-pio for short. He's a well mannered man, in his seventies but he was terribly nervous and shy. Three-pio was orderly and liked things a certain way. They got along just fine since she's known him since she was young.

And she got along well with her private teacher too. The house she lived in was beautiful and Three-pio took her out wherever she wanted. He likes spending time with her and so did she. He likes the same things she did so it was nice to share that with someone. They play puzzles together and knit and listen to opera. Three-pio plans on getting tickets for them to see a show.

She's happy to be here for Three-pio. He's been living alone his whole life.

Mom wanted to send her off to Uncle Luke's but decided not to, afraid of the friction between Ben and Uncle Luke. Ben and Uncle Luke have some animosity towards each other because a year ago, Ben was house sitting for Luke and left the back door open by accident. Uncle Luke's dog R2 ended up running out. They eventually found R2 within a few days but Luke had never forgiven Ben for that.

It was a pure accident but Luke was like Three-pio and likes things a certain way. He's not as lenient like Dad.

Rey couldn't help but to feel sad for her brother. He doesn't seem to be anyone's favorite right now. She got off easily because of her age but not Ben. Ben was older that's why. He must be miserable at home and maybe that's why he hasn't been calling her or picking up her calls. Maybe he doesn't want her to see how depressed he was without her.

She sighed as she played. She's not playing any particular song. She's messing around with the keys again, trying to make something aesthetically pleasing. Rey paused to shift her seat back. It was an adjustment for her having her stomach in the way.

The baby likes music. The baby kicks whenever he or she hears it. Rey's far along to find out the gender for some time now but she's been going back and forth whether or not she wants to know. Ben says he doesn't care and that it was up to her. One thing it would be nice to start picking out things but it would be a nice surprise. The sex of the baby doesn't really matter to her.

Rey stopped altogether. She's feeling tired now.

Three-pio notices the stop of music and helps her out of the bench and into bed. "Is everything alright Ms. Rey?"

"Yeah," she said as snuggled underneath the cool covers. "I just hate being pregnant." She's been on some medication prescribed by her doctor to keep with her weight. She craves a lot of food but can barely stomach it. She hasn't gained the expected weight range for this trimester.

Three-pio smiled slightly. "It'll be over before you know it. Would you want me to bring you some tea and honey brick toast later?"

"No thank you...I kind of want something else," she said quietly.

"That's no problem at all," he reminded her. "Just tell me what you want and I'll have my butler get it for you."

"I kind of want a burger with extra onions and pickles."

He chuckled then at the sound of how eager she sounded. "Alright dear."

* * *

Poe Dameron says you're the most honest when you're drunk. Ben doesn't fucking believe it. He's been plenty wasted before and knows how to hold his tongue. Ben's out here drinking with Poe and the rest of the football team. Ben misses his old friends from boarding school. They lived too far for Ben to drive and come back in one night. So he's stuck with the jocks.

They only like him because they know he can get them alcohol. And he does.

They're drinking at Poe's place. His Dad is a pilot and is out of town for the week. Ben managed to convince them to have this kickback Thursday night because he has to drive Friday immediately after school to take care of Rey. No one knows that and believe the bullshit lie that he has a family reunion. Close enough, right? Rey keeps calling him and he keeps leaving it to go to voicemail.

She never lets him have fun not even let him freaking breathe.

"So I heard your sister got accepted to some fancy prep school," Poe announces.

Ben gulps down his beer. "Yup. She's always been a nerd."

Poe raised his eyebrow. "Isn't it kinda late for her to transfer though?"

"The headmaster made an exception. I don't really know but money does wonders."

Trevor grins. "Certainly. My parents are diplomats and I got cleared from what I did in France. Diplomatic immunity does wonders."

The rest of the football team nods.

Poe frowned. "Well your parents finally did it, they finally had the guts to send their daughter away. You must be thrilled."

"Yeah," Ben grins then. "I really am." Ben fucking hates Poe Dameron. Poe Dameron was liked by everyone but what made him and Rey different was that Rey's kindness was genuine while Poe was a real fake fuck. Ben never trusted Poe since they were kids and Poe blamed Ben on the broken vase in Poe's house. Of course since Poe had a clean track record they believed him. They were only seven when it happened but Ben will never forgive Poe.

Poe knows it too.

* * *

_Today was going to be a horrible day, Ben just knew it. Mommy and Daddy were taking Ben and Rey to Mr. and Mrs. Dameron's house to play with Poe. Poe Dameron is Ben's age. He's seven too but older than Ben by two months. Ben hates going and being forced to play with Poe. No one believes Ben that Poe wasn't nice at all. All the adults fall for Poe's act. Everyone thinks that Poe was perfect._

_Daddy's going to talk about planes and jets again with Mr. Dameron. Daddy's a pilot on his free time and so they became friends through that. Mommy's friends with Mrs. Dameron too and for that reason, Ben's forced to interact with Poe a lot his whole life._

_Ben's not looking forward to seeing Poe since they're bringing Rey along. They were still testing it out with Rey. Ben really likes Rey and wants her as his sister. Ben's scared because whatever he likes, Poe breaks. Poe hated Ben having fun. Ben held his breath as he held Rey's hand really tight. He doesn't want anything to happen to her._

_He keeps warning his parents about Poe but parents never listen._

* * *

"So Solo, how is it like being back at home?" Poe asked.

Ben shrugged. "It's okay." He reaches for his phone and puts it on silent. Rey should really learn to pick up subtle signs. So what if she's pregnant and alone? He's been alone much longer than her. She'll come back once she has the baby.

Poe smiles. "It's kinda fucked up that the second you're home your parents decide to separate you and your sister again."

He kept his indifferent façade. Poe's a fucking deceptive ass snake. Why does everyone keep bringing up Rey? Can they leave Ben alone? He just wants one day without everyone asking him. His teachers. His childhood 'friends.' His classmates. Mom and Dad. Everyone. "I really don't care to be honest. I barely saw her around anyways."

Poe frowns then.

Ben cracks open another drink and smiles.

* * *

_Their parents get acquainted with the Damerons real quick and Ben and Rey are forced to be alone with the demon in the play room. Ben keeps taking himself and Rey to the living room because the adults are there. Daddy keeps scolding him and brings him and Rey back to the play room._

_"Ben," Daddy scolds. "Remember what we talked about earlier?"_

_"But remember what I told you!" Ben said in response._

_Rey just giggles and hides her face in Ben's arm. She's only three. She doesn't understand much._

_Daddy just laughs. "You sure do love to paint stories. Go play with Poe. I'm sure you two will have fun soon enough."_

_Ben sighed as he watched his Daddy walk away. The second Daddy was gone, Poe gives him a smug look. "So this is your possible sister?" Poe asks. He goes to them and tries to bribe Rey with a toy._

_Rey's dumb that she falls for it._

_Ben yanks her back to him. "Don't trust him," he tells her._

_Poe laughs. "You must really like her."_

_"No I don't," he glared. He's scowling at the boy, trying to show who was boss._

_"I'm not going to hurt her." Poe then opens the door and gestures for them to follow him._

_Ben refuses to go but then Poe says he has candy and Rey runs like the wind. "Rey!"_

_He runs after them then. They're in the hallway. "We're not supposed to be here," he reminds Poe. It's because Poe's mommy has a lot of expensive things in the hallway. A lot of statues and vases._

_Poe shrugged as he picked up Rey like a doll. "I won't get in trouble. I never do."_

_"Don't touch her!" Ben screamed._

_"Let's play a game." Rey's trying to get out of Poe's grasp but he holds her really tight. She's crying then. "Let's see who the adults will believe. You or me."_

_Ben ignores Poe. "Let her go."_

_Poe smiles. "I bet you and I already know the answer."_

* * *

The kickback is boring. It's a fucking waste of time and Ben hates it. He slips out of the house before anyone notices and gets into his car. He doesn't know where to go but anywhere was better than to be around Poe Dameron.

He doesn't even know what came over him to want to hang out with Poe Dameron. Ben fucking hates him. It's not a type of hate that's for show - it's a real hate. It takes so much strength not to attack that guy in cold blood. Ben wants to strangle Poe to death but he knows not to. Poe Dameron was the devil.

Ben doesn't know where he's going but he gets in and starts driving.

He just wants to get the hell out of here.

* * *

_It all happens so fast._

_Poe puts Rey down on the floor. Before Ben could snatch her up, Poe pushes a vase on her. It breaks but Ben manages to push her out of the way. She's crying even more now and he doesn't blame her._

_"Why did you do that?" Ben yelled._

_"I didn't do it, you did."_

_"You're a liar!" Ben yelled. It all happens so fast. He's hitting Poe to the ground. And Poe deserves it for trying to hurt Rey. She's only three. She's only a baby. She's not even a kid yet. Before Ben could really beat him he's being snatched up by his shirt by his Daddy. Ben's scrambling to free himself from his Daddy's grasp. He stops once he realizes he was bleeding._

_It was a heavy vase and Ben took the hit. Ben starts crying then. It hurts. Mommy is comforting Rey in her arms. Thankfully there's only a little cut on Rey's shoulder but Rey was still crying. She's scared by what's happening._

_"What's going on?" Mr. Dameron asked as he snatched up Poe._

_"Daddy!" Poe cries out. "Ben attacked Rey. I tried to stop him but then he started to attack me too."_

_Mr. and Mrs. Dameron glare at Mommy and Daddy._

_"He's lying!" Ben yelled. "He did that on purpose!" He keeps yelling and yelling but none of the adults could hear him._

_"Han. Leia," Mr. Dameron's voice went hard. "You got to do something about that boy before he ends up in the electric chair."_

* * *

Ben doesn't know where he's going but he keeps driving.

He doesn't want to go back to his house.

He doesn't want to go crash at Kaydel's either. Kaydel was nice and doesn't deserve to be putting up with his fucked up drama.

He just hates everything and everybody right now. Ben stops by the gas station to fill his car up and get some snacks. It's late but he doesn't want to go anywhere. Ben has school tomorrow but attendance isn't an issue when his parents pay for it. He won't get in trouble and maybe one day gone will make his parents happy. His parents must be sick of him either way.

Ben will do them a favor.

He reaches for his jacket in the backseat to get his wallet. He paused at the sight of his bag. He had packed his bag early because he knew he would be suffering from a hangover the next morning. To save himself the trouble.

He blinked at the sight.

* * *

Rey wakes up in the middle of the night being woken up by Three-pio. She yawned as she stumbled to answer the door.

"I'm sorry Miss Rey," Three-pio said nervously. "I didn't mean to wake you but Ben insisted you wanted to be woken up." Ben pushes the door more open and tosses his bag on the ground carelessly.

Rey's eyes opened as if she had been shot with electricity. What time was it? "Ben?"

Before Three-pio could say another word, Ben slams the door in his face and locks the door.

"Ben Solo!" Three-pio exclaimed, knocking on the door frantically. "Your parents made it very, _very_ clear that you two sleep in separate rooms. Come out this instant Ben Solo! Or I'll...I'll -

"You'll what?" Ben yelled back. "I didn't drive a day early in the middle of the night not to see her." He curses underneath his breath. "God I can't stand him. All he does is fucking ramble and go on about shit. He's such a tight ass."

Three-pio went quiet. "The nerve of some of people," he muttered to himself.

Rey bit her lip. "You don't have to be that mean to him," she tells Ben. They could hear Three-pio walk away defeated. Three-pio was a nervous man, afraid of any type of confrontation, even from a seventeen year old boy. To Three-pio's defense, Ben can be scary. He always had a temper on him.

Ben shrugged. "I don't care if he tells Mom and Dad. I just -" he stopped himself.

"Miss me?"

"No."

She doesn't hide her smile. Rey and Ben both know that Three-pio won't tell Mom and Dad. Three-pio doesn't have the heart to but mainly because he's afraid of Ben. Three-pio's stuck with seeing Ben every weekend and it's best to not have any conflict.

"Stop smiling," Ben grumbled. "Mom and Dad are making it mandatory that I see you. And I didn't want to go to school tomorrow so I figured to drive now to avoid the traffic - stop smiling like that!"

Rey laughed gently. She goes on her tip toes to kiss him. "I missed you too."

"I know," he sighed. He puts hands on her waist to stop her from bouncing about. "Stop calling me. Please I hate it."

She laughs again and rubs her face into his chest. He's warm and smells like a locker room. "You're drunk," she commented.

"I'm not."

"Okay you're not," she decides to entertain him.

"I'm tired. Let's go to bed."

Rey nodded. "Okay." She helps him in bed, helping him kick off his shoes and socks. She even fluffs his pillow for him since she can tell that he's been having a bad week. She pulls the sheets over them and it doesn't take Ben long to have his hands all over her. "I'm tired," she tells him.

"Do you think I care?" he snapped. Ben's not used to her denying him. Rey doesn't know that though.

"I don't feel pretty." He's trying to take off her clothes but Rey doesn't let him. He's pouting right now. He's really intoxicated and emotional. A real bad combination especially when Rey wanted to throw up from the smell of his alcohol breath. "I'm not comfortable with my body. I'm not used to being this weight."

Ben laughed. "You're growing a baby inside of you. You're supposed to gain weight - do you think I care?"

"No," she answered, feeling her heart skip a beat.

He snuggles his face into her chest. "Good." He starts kissing her to get her in the mood. He doesn't stop touching her even though the baby was in the way. Ben will be careful though. He will. 

"Ben."

" _What?"_

"If we're going to have sex, can you brush your teeth at least? And use mouth wash? Like a couple of times? The smell of alcohol makes me want to gag."

He grumbled. "Okay." He gets himself out of bed. "Is there anything else you want while I'm out of bed? Any food? Water?"

"Can you get me that trash bin and move it close to the bed - just in case I throw up."

Ben grimaces. "You sure love to ruin the mood, don't you?" He dips down to kiss her on the cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the complexity of Ben Solo's mind though.


	7. Tantrums

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey really is a child.

"What's she like?" Kaydel asked.

"Who?"

She laughs then. "Your girl."

Ben exhaled first before answering. He hates being asked about Rey. He knows that Kaydel was curious since Ben knows everything about her boyfriend. They were on her bed, fully clothed and watching some new popular show on Netflix. There wasn't going to be any fooling around with Kaydel on her period. Ben doesn't mind though. He likes her company. Ben chewed on his lip. How are you suppose to answer questions like these? "She's pretty," he said simply.

"How does she look like?"

"She has hair and a pair of eyes and a mouth."

Kaydel scrunches up her face. "Wow, you're super detailed."

Ben smiles crookedly. "I'm not good with talking about stuff like this."

Kaydel propped her elbows up. "Is she nice?"

"The nicest to a point it's sickening. I'm really happy that she lives far away. I might get sick of her with how sweet she is."

She stopped to blink, trying to process his answer. "How...romantic," Kaydel said warily. Ben shrugged. "What makes her special to you?"

"That she's able to put up with me," he responds. Without a second thought. "It's not something that's easy to do."

"I have a feeling."

Ben laughs then. Not because he finds her response funny but that even Kaydel finds him a handful. Ben knows he was a piece of shit but so did everyone. Everyone but Rey. No matter how demanding or needy he was, she still loves him unconditionally. "Yeah no matter how much I fuck up my girl always forgives me."

"Do you fuck up on purpose?"

"Sometimes," he smirked.

Kaydel stops to shake her head. "Solo, you're really killing me."

"She also lets me do whatever I want when we have sex," Ben adds. He doesn't know why decides to share that but he does. And so he explains more to paint a better picture for Kaydel. "She does _everything._ Stuff even you won't do."

"Your girl sounds really sweet. I don't know how you got so lucky," she smiled. "Whatever you do, don't take her for granted Solo."

* * *

When he gets home later in the evening, Ben decides to call Rey. He had missed her call when he was out with Kaydel. To his surprise, Rey doesn't answer. And so Ben calls her again. She picks up the third attempt. They switch it to a video chat. He can see the circles around her eyes. She's yawning, moving the loose strands of hair from her face.

"Did I wake you up?" he asked.

"Yes."

He blinked at the sound of a snap from her. Rey sounds moody. He doesn't blame her since it was a lot of work carrying a baby for a span of nine months. Especially at her weight and age range. "Sorry, he frowned. "I didn't mean to call you at a bad time."

Rey paused and stared at her phone. "It's one, Ben," she said slowly. "One in the morning," she emphasized. "We have school tomorrow."

She doesn't sound thrilled at all. She sounds annoyed and pissed off. This wasn't like Rey. She usually was happy whenever Ben decided to call her back. "Are you mad?" he asked. "I'm sorry for calling you late - it's just I kept thinking about you."

Rey's frown deepened across her face and turned into a scowl. "I'm tired Ben. I barely get enough sleep as it is with the baby kicking me all through the night and giving me back pain. If you wanted to talk to me you _should have_ answered the first few times that I called today."

"I'm sorry." He keeps it at that instead of making a big deal. Rey was having another mood swing again.

She sighed. "It's okay it's just" - she sighed again. "If you want to talk to me do it at a reasonable time instead of whenever it's convenient for you. Because it's not fair for me that I'm always wondering what you're doing."

"Okay," he responded calmly.

There was silence then.

"Rey," he calls her name. "You know I love you."

She nods, swallowing hard. "Yeah, I do."

* * *

Rey can get emotional to a point she's hysterical.

Sometimes, she'll call him to vent and cry about a movie or show she saw on Netflix or Disney plus. Ben will put her on speaker phone and have her go to town while he did his homework. She's a fucking hypocrite. She gets mad at him for calling her at inconvenient times but she also does it too.

It would be one thing if Rey called about important shit but no she gets all hung up on trashy rom-com movies and talks for hours on how cute they were. Like, seriously? She's worked up over a stupid movie? And not like real serious shit? She'll cry if the fictional characters she likes get together and she'll cry if they don't. And Rey wonders why he doesn't pick up half of the times. Ben can't win with her.

Rey used to be so reasonable before she got pregnant. He's counting the seconds she's not pregnant anymore and goes back to normal. Yes she cries a lot but pregnant Rey was much worse. He rather have regular Rey who was level headed and quiet. He hates pregnant Rey more than regular Rey.

Mom tells him not to hang up on Rey and that Rey has every right to confide in him and shit since it's his fault.

Ben hates whenever Mom takes sides.

She scolds him whenever he muffles out the phone call. "You have to be sensitive with your sister."

Ben keeps the jacket over his phone. "I don't know what you and Dad want from me," he crossed his arms. Rey is so fucking annoying. "You guys don't want us to be together so why are you also forcing us to do couple shit? Listening to her talk her frustrations out is a couple's thing."

Mom opens her mouth but nothing comes out.

He cursed underneath his breath and relentlessly moved the jacket away. He can hear Rey sobbing now about the ending of some new drama she's watching. He groaned as he covered his ears. Mom hides a smile as she leaves the room. Ben's not sure what was worse, a cranky pregnant Rey or a hysterical pregnant Rey.

* * *

Ben thinks that Rey knows what he does. He thinks that she's okay with it because she's hoping for him to come around. They were still young and they were expected to make mistakes. She must hate him sometimes for the shit he puts her through. He doesn't blame her. Ben really is a shitty boyfriend. Maybe that's why he's never managed to keep a girlfriend.

He doesn't feel guilty that he treats her like shit. He isn't. He hates her, he really does.

They were in bed together again. It's not that he wants to have sex with Rey every time he sees her after a week apart - it's just he wants to make her feel attractive. He knows she gets so insecure and depressed about her changing body. And so Ben makes sure she doesn't feel that way. Rey wasn't feeling well to have their usual so he's giving her oral sex right now.

He kisses her thighs in between to let her know he doesn't care about the extra weight. It's a lie though. He's uncomfortable seeing her naked and seeing how much he altered her body. Stretch marks, fuller frame, big belly, swollen breasts. Sometimes he'll lie and tell her that she's beautiful. And sometimes Ben just kisses her so he doesn't have to do sexual acts with her. "I don't ever want to lose you," he whispered as he leaving marks on her neck. His chest was constricting after saying this.

Sometimes lying hurts as much as telling the truth.

But he's not sure what he said was a lie.

* * *

Three-pio pretends he doesn't know what's going on with Ben and Rey. Ben respects that about him. He likes being able to do whatever he wanted and not be controlled by his parents. Of course whenever Mom and Dad occasionally drop by, Rey and him are on their best behavior. No touching. No sleeping in the same bed.

Ben doesn't mind that but he feels that Rey needs love. It must be terribly lonely living in hiding.

He takes her to her doctor's appointment. He always gets uneasy whenever the doctor checks her down there. It's not because he's afraid the doctor was some pervert but that he's paranoid that he might have given Rey some STD or something. For whatever unknown reason, this appointment in particular makes him decide not to sleep around anymore.

It's not that he loves Rey but he's worried that he might get her sick and the baby sick. She's healthy and there's nothing wrong with her there but he wants to be safe with her. 

He's already done enough to Rey.

* * *

This Sunday for whatever reason, Ben takes his time packing. For some reason he doesn't really want to leave Rey but he has to because he has school tomorrow. It's not that he hates being away from Rey - it's just he hates the inconvenience of driving back and forth. It wasn't some short drive either. It takes Ben about five and half hours to drive to get to her and sometimes with really bad traffic, seven hours.

Their parents don't really care about Ben's education since he's planning to hold off college. His grades were fine so they're not worried about him not graduating high school. But driving to Rey takes a long toll on him. He always feels like there's not enough time so he stays out late for that reason. He wants to make up for lost time.

Rey was beside him, watching him pack in silence.

Ben knows that she hates it whenever he leaves. He just wished she didn't give him such a hard time. Ben wants to go home as fast as possible to sleep before school in the morning. "I always come back," he reminds her.

"I already miss you."

* * *

Taking care of Rey was annoying.

And that's saying a lot since Ben only sees her on the weekends. She was very demanding, begs for video chats every night and on weekends he had to deal with her food cravings. Yeah she's pregnant but does she have to be _this_ high maintenance? He hates when she calls him in the middle of the night puking. Ben thought her morning sickness would have gone away after the first few months but he learns that's a common misconception. And that pregnant women can have nausea much longer than that.

Even all throughout the pregnancy.

Mom and Dad keep lecturing him to be "responsible" and understanding with Rey. He is fucking responsible but he knows when Rey's milking it. He knows that she's enjoying that he's forced to take care of her. She's the baby in the family and always will. And she knows that she can get away with pretty much anything. Ben hated himself for not seeing this coming.

He's in the car right now with Rey. He's tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, waiting for her to decide on what she wanted. She's on her phone, going through yelp for food suggestions.

"I want sushi," she tells him.

"You know you can't have raw fish."

"I know," Rey sighed. She's very devastated about that. Sushi was one of her favorite foods and you can't really replicate the texture and taste of raw fish. He can't help but to feel bad for her with that. "I'm looking up places that have really good vegan sushi. I know it won't be the same as raw fish but it's something."

"Did you find a place?"

Rey bit at her nails nervously. "Yeah...but it's like an hour drive," she looked at Ben with puppy dog eyes.

"No," he says automatically. "That's too fucking far."

"Please?"

"There has to be local vegan sushi spots."

"Yes but the ratings aren't good."

Ben cursed then. "I'm not driving that far. Get over it."

"Fine," she huffed. "I'll go get an Uber then."

He laughs then. "Are you fucking serious?"

"Yes," she says will full conviction. "I want sushi." Rey's becoming brattier with her pregnancy. She's able to be pregnant and not hide it anymore. So now she's fully emotional with her mood swings. Or rather tantrums. Which is fucking weird to Ben because Rey never acted like this before. Apparently getting pregnant can change a person.

"Okay. Fine by me as long as you don't tell Mom and Dad." Ben was supposed to be responsible in getting food for her on the weekends but an hour drive was too much. It wasn't just an hour, it was also and hour back too. And that's not taking account with traffic.

"Well it might show up on their statements," she said as matter of fact. "And I don't think they will be happy to find out that I used an Uber while you're here."

Ben frowned. Stupid brat. He hates when she has him cornered. "I hate you."

She squeals then as he started the car. "I know."

* * *

Ben decides for them to order the food to go so they can spend time together in a hotel. Rey doesn't mind and looks forward to spending alone time together without Three-pio in the other room. Their parents are more tight with monitoring the bank statements but Ben was much smarter. About twice a week, he pulls out forty dollars from his account. They don't know because he does this whenever he's at Target and does cashback. He carries cash now for this occasion so they don't have to worry about bank statements.

Rey orders more than enough food for them. She even gets them drinks too. Well technically he paid though. She got them vegan versions of spicy tuna and deep fried California rolls and two other vegan rolls too that had names Ben couldn't remember. One was a tempura sweet potato roll with "cream cheese" and avocado and the other roll had "shrimp tempura," shitake mushroom, cucumber, green onion, unagi sauce, and spicy "mayo."

The rolls were really good and the imitation meat tastes almost like the real thing. And the rolls were filling too.

"Good job," he tells Rey.

Rey smiles and pops another piece in her mouth. She really likes the sweet potato one. He can tell her cravings were being satisfied. They were eating on the bed with the AC on and music playing in the background. Ben likes sneaking out with Rey to hotels, makes them feel like kids. They literally kicked off their shoes and socks when they got into the room. After eating, they take a nap for a little bit.

When they wake up, that's when they start fooling around. They're mainly kissing. Everything's fine but he notices that Rey's not letting him take off her shirt. So he has to convince her. Ben hands her the remote. Sometimes, Rey needs some noise because she's paranoid about making loud sounds. Rey doesn't completely refuse him, she's still kissing him.

"What's wrong?" he asked as he deepened their kiss. He doesn't like being denied, even by Rey. This really wasn't like her. She always lets him have sex. Even when she's feeling nauseous she'll still let him. She only stops him whenever she needs to throw up in the trash bin.

"It's nothing - I'm very shy about my stomach."

Ben shakes his head. "You shouldn't be. It doesn't change anything."

"Can we just kiss today? I'm not really feeling well to have sex but I can give you a blow job."

"No."

"Ben."

"I don't care about the weight." Sometimes, he gets frustrated that the baby gets in the way. During sex and trying to have sex. He would never tell Rey this though. He doesn't want her to think he's jealous of the baby or something. Ben proceeds to take off her shirt. She's making a fuss over it, flailing her hands about. "Stop squirming."

"Ben! I don't want to!"

"We don't have to - we can just be naked and cuddle," he bargains then.

Before Rey could respond, he manages to take off her shirt.

He paused once he did.

Rey went quiet.

And so did he.

All Ben could see were cut marks on her arms. They didn't look like an accident. There were too many and all the marks looked deliberate - all the same length and placement. "What the hell Rey?" he blinked several times. His ears rang when and Ben realized he was yelling at her. He grabbed her by her arms to inspect them. "Are you cutting yourself?"

She starts tearing up. "No."

"You're a fucking liar." Rey tried to move away but he doesn't let her go. He holds her arms even tighter out of spite. He hates when she's being a brat. "Rey! You know better." Ben's jaw was twitching. He's so damn mad at her. She gave herself really deep cuts, they might become scars. He just wants to shake some sense into her. What she did was stupid, completely stupid.

Rey sniffled then. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you doing this?"

"I don't know," she said meekly as she shrugged.

Ben just wants to scream at her for an hour but he knows Rey's too sensitive right now for that. He sighed and pulled her to his arms. He kisses her cuts, trying to get her to calm down. She's heaving and keeps on saying sorry. "Shut up, I'm not mad. Just take a deep breath and relax."

"You're so mean to me," she keeps sobbing.

"How am I mean to you? I'm trying to make you feel better!"

He grabs her by her face and kisses her.

* * *

She's quiet and relaxed now, nerves settled by sex and a warm bath. They were curled in bed, with Rey resting her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry," Ben lowered his voice. "I didn't mean to overreact and yell at you."

"It's okay."

"Why did you do it?" He starts playing with her long hair.

Rey shrugged.

"Rey," Ben keeps his tone leveled. He doesn't want her to cry. He's so tired of hearing her cry.

"I don't know," she said quietly.

"There has to be a reason though."

"I don't know. I guess I get sad sometimes."

"About everything?"

"Yeah."

Ben kisses the side of her head.

She starts crying again.

* * *

The weekend ends and Ben's supposed to be packing up his things. He doesn't have much to pack since most of his things he kept here. Like his spare toothbrush and spare shaver and an extra pair of shoes. Ben holds off on it to spend time with Rey before their parenting class. She's playing the piano and he's just listening.

Three-pio comes to the room to let them know it's time to go.

Ben gathered their bag for parenting class and Rey follows.

Class goes by fine, the teacher says that they were going to be good parents by the end of the course. It's comforting at least. All Ben could think about was Rey and the marks on her arms. He's keeps asking her if she was cutting herself because of him. Rey says denies it but the thought lingers. Even if it wasn't directly him, all the other factors all traced back to him. Ben gotten her pregnant and sent away.

And perhaps the stress made her self harm.

Ben couldn't help but to feel betrayed by her - by her actions. Rey was supposed to be Rey. She was supposed to be bright and cheery. This - this wasn't her. Ben made her promise to never cut herself again but he doesn't think he can trust her when she's at this state. 

He takes Rey to the store after class to get the right things to treat her cuts. He gets her ice cream too because she asks for it like all the time. They go back to the house and he's supposed to be packing. Ben decides to hold it off a little bit longer. They do homework together and then they make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Three-pio makes a fuss about the choice of meal and gets his servant to prepare something "suitable" and "nutritious."

Rey decides to help and Ben's left alone in the dining room with his thoughts. 

* * *

She comes back to Ben once she was done helping. Rey finds him on the phone. She can tell that he was on the phone for a while by how immersed he was in the conversation. It sounded serious. She waits for him to hang up. "Is anything wrong?" Rey asked.

"No," he said calmly.

"Who were you on the phone with?" Rey asked slowly.

"Mom. I told her that I want to stay here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two + hotel rooms = 🥺💕


	8. Time Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a Rey chapter 💖

Mom and Dad make Ben go back home.

Ben didn't want to but they want to discuss things in person about the possible arrangement. Rey couldn't help but to feel insignificant. Their parents didn't want Rey present in the discussion about her and Ben's life. She understands she's the youngest but she strongly believes she should have a say. Rey knows what Dad's going to say - that she's only thirteen and too young to make decisions.

But Rey was also pregnant too and that changed everything.

She knows everyone was awkward with her since they didn't know how to treat her now. She was at an odd stage of her life, still a child and yet also an expected mother. It's strange to even run into this predicament with Ben. He expects so much of her sometimes, for her to be wiser than her age. She's just as lost as he was. Rey has a feeling this mentality comes from Dad since Dad believes girls mature faster and it was in a girl's nature to be natural mother.

Rey thinks she's going to be a good mom but she doesn't know what's to come for the next few years. She's still a minor and she knows their parents are going to try to split them apart. Her parents think it's wrong since Rey and Ben are siblings. Rey doesn't really see the issue. Ben's not that much older than her and they weren't even related.

She sighed as she did her homework. Ben's not responding to any of her texts since yesterday. She wonders if he's still talking to Mom and Dad or if he's out doing who knows what to let off some steam. It could be either or. She hates being in the dark about how her life's going to be. It's sad to know that Rey doesn't have a say in any of it.

Rey squeezed her wrist for a few seconds and proceeded to finish her report.

* * *

She misses her promise ring. She's only worn it for barely a month but she loved it so. It was physical proof of their love - a promise that they were going to get married some day and be together forever. They've talked about it, they're going to get married when she turns eighteen and Mom and Dad can't do anything about it.

Five years was so far away.

Rey doesn't care, she's been separated from Ben before. But now their parents can't really keep them apart now that there's a baby on the way. It was one thing to keep siblings apart but another to keep a child away from his or her father. Rey touched her stomach as the baby kicked. She doesn't care about what the baby will be but sometimes she gets curious.

Especially with thinking about the future.

Rey dug her nails into her palm and presses hard.

* * *

Ben calls her in the middle of the night. She wakes up immediately to the sound of her phone and picks up like her life depended on it. Because maybe it did. They switch to a video chat. Ben has his earphones on and he's speaking in whispers. Rey's heart skipped a beat. Something happened, she could tell. Ben never cares if he wakes up their parents so this wasn't like him.

"I'm sorry I haven't been able to get back to you," he says.

Rey shakes her head. "It's fine." She means it. As much as she hates not having control in their life, she's thankful for Ben dealing it for the both of them. Rey knows that she gets off easy since she's the baby in the family. Ben...not so much. He always gets it worse because he's a boy. Their parents think that he tricked her or worse...forced her but that wasn't the case. Rey, despite being nervous and scared, she willingly went to bed with him. Over and over.

But Dad doesn't think that young girls are capable to like sex until they are older. Much older.

"So what did Mom and Dad say?" she asked.

Ben sighed. "They keep going back and forth with it. I can't give you an answer until they decide what direction they want to go."

Rey bit her lip. He sounds exhausted and drained. She can tell that it's the only thing that's been talked about in the house when everyone wasn't asleep or eating. Ben looks miserable. She knows that he's not scared of waking Mom and Dad, he's just tired and doesn't want them to wake up and have the discussion at this time. Their parents when they fight, they can go all night until the morning.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. Rey wants to cry but she knows Ben hates it when she does. And for Ben to see her cry was the last thing he needed. Rey dug her nails into her palm to sedate the urge to. Ben can't see because she keeps that hand away from the lens. Rey presses into her skin hard to a point she's breaking some skin. She doesn't stop though and she keeps going at it.

"It's alright," Ben half smiled.

Rey's heart skipped a beat. He only gives her that look whenever something bad was happening and he wants to protect her.

"Tell me about your day," Ben changes the subject then. "Please tell me it was shitty."

"Yeah it was. Three-pio keeps begging me to find out the sex of the baby so he can prepare."

Ben half smiles again. "He does know that you're not going to stay with him forever, right?"

"He does but he says he's hopeful that I get to stay for more than my pregnancy. He thinks I'm better off here."

"I don't think he's wrong but I hate being around him. He's so fucking annoying. I rather we have our own place and can be alone in peace."

"We won't be able to do that until I graduate high school," Rey reminded him. She moved her fingers to a fresh spot on her palm. Ben told her that she can't cut herself anymore and so she's respecting that.

He cursed underneath his breath. "Don't fucking remind me that. Don't worry I'll work my ass off and save so we can get a place the second you graduate."

"And we get married too?" she asked in a small voice.

"Of course."

Rey stops scratching her palm altogether. "Okay," she nodded with a smile. The happiness was brief and she's consumed with guilt. "I should have been more careful with my promise ring."

"It's alright. I can get you another one if you want."

"It's not the same."

"You're such a brat," he laughs in endearment. "I miss you."

"I miss you too." Rey stopped and examined her palm. She's been scratching up her palm all day to a point it's all bloody and raw. It looked really bad since the scars are overlapped. Rey hates to see how her wrist looked too.

"What's on your mind?"

"Nothing," she responded quickly. She makes sure to keep her hand away from the lens of her phone. Rey smiles at him but he could see right through. So she stops. "I just...I kinda want to find out what the baby is," Rey says the first thing on her mind. It's not a complete lie. It's been on her mind for a while. It would be nice to know and start buying cute clothes and stuffed animals.

"I don't mind if we find out," Ben said calmly. "It's up to you."

"Up to me?" her eyes flickered. There was something comforting with given the sole choice in something so important.

"Yeah. Of course. You can call up the doctor tomorrow."

"I rather call the doctor when you're here. So we can find out together," Rey smiled. She doesn't really care if the baby's going to be a boy or girl - but it will be nice to have a boy that looked exactly like him. Rey always did like his dark curls.

"Okay, we'll do that."

Rey sighed. "The weekend's so far away."

"Tell me about it."

"I have a feeling you will be still discussing the same thing tomorrow - can you tell them that I want you to move here?" she asked feebly. "Maybe that will help convince them."

Ben rubbed his temples and exhaled. "I have."

"Well can you tell them that I would want to be there at your graduation ceremony?" she whispered.

Ben blinked. She watches him process her words and do the math. She can tell it didn't occur to him that she would still be pregnant (and heavily pregnant) at his graduation. Mom and Dad would not let her attend. Rey bit her lip as she watched him frown at the realization. "Oh."

"Yeah," she swallowed the lump in her throat. "Oh."

"I will tell them that - I want you to be there."

"Please do."

* * *

Rey periodically puts ointment on her scars and fresh wounds but it's not enough for them to heal by the weekend. Ben's glaring at her and all Rey could do was say sorry. She changes the subject by kissing him and initiating sex. Rey would rather have a relatively relaxed Ben being mad at her.

Ben grumbles as he kisses her, "You're so going to be trouble after we fuck."

She grins at him cheekily. "I know - let's not talk about it until afterwards."

* * *

It's not a whole elaborate scene learning about the sex of the baby. It's private and simple, and they liked that. Life's been crazy and they needed something calm. The doctor tells them over the phone and they are able to go out. They do their usual, pick up some new food to try and stay at a hotel. Rey's not craving anything so Ben picks.

He picks the vegan sushi place again and so they do that.

All Rey could think about was the baby. She's mainly picking at her food, trying to register it. The baby was a girl. Rey shouldn't be surprised since there was a fifty fifty chance but she sort of...hoped for a boy. A boy that looked just like Ben. Dark hair and brown eyes. Ben's always talking about being a better father than their Dad and for some reason Rey always pictured their baby being a boy.

It would have been nice.

Ben could have raised the boy and given the life he's never gotten. And the love.

She feels like she let Ben down. "What's up with you? Why aren't you eating?" Ben asked as he poked her shoulder with his chopsticks. Once he got her attention, he pops a roll into his mouth. He eats nonchalantly and gives her a smirk.

"Are you disappointed that we're having a girl?" she couldn't help but to cry. She feels like a bad mom for feeling this way about the baby in her stomach.

He raised his eyebrow. "Why do you think that?"

"I know you were hoping for a boy."

Ben shakes his head. "Rey. I told you already. I really don't care as long as the baby is healthy - and that we get to have the baby," he said gently. He leans over to hug her and calm her down. She keeps crying because she really doesn't deserve him. Ben's so patient with her even though she cries a lot.

She sniffled. "Really?"

"Yeah," Ben laughed as he wiped her tears with a hotel towel. "It's just I have no idea how to take care of a girl."

Rey giggles with how rough he was with her. She swats the towel from her face. "I think you do."


	9. Colored Paper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to Ben.
> 
> side note: wow we're at 9 chapters already.

Poe asks him if he wants to smoke weed with the football team and cheerleaders tonight.

Ben declines in the most polite way he can. He doesn't trust whenever Poe's being nice. Nothing ever good came from it. Hell, Ben can't even go. He has to go straight home to continue his conversation with Mom and Dad. Even if Ben didn't have to deal with that, he would never ever hang out with Poe Dameron ever again.

"Come on Solo, you're always tense," Poe presses on.

Ben ignores Poe and walks on by. He really hates Poe. If it wasn't for Poe, Ben wouldn't have been sent away.

In between classes, Kaydel asks him at his locker if he wants to fool around after school. It catches him off guard not going to lie. Ben declines and reminds her that he doesn't want to this anymore. Kaydel frowns. "It's not like anyone's going to find out."

Ben raised his eyebrow at her comment. "Sorry. It doesn't feel right especially when I'm getting pretty serious with my girl."

Kaydel laughs then. "How can you get serious with someone you barely see in person?"

"I can't explain it - it just happened. But I already said what I said three week ago. I don't want to do what we're doing anymore. I don't want to hurt my girl." Ben can never say the word girlfriend. The term was weird to him like babe. "We're better off as friends."

"Fuck you."

He blinked several times. It's not that he's offended by her words - he's just surprised by her behavior. Kaydel's usually laid back. "What's wrong?"

Kaydel storms off and doesn't look back. Ben shrugged to himself as he put his book away in his locker. Okay she's being weird or having a bad day. It can't be anything too serious. She'll cool off in a day or two.

* * *

Rey keeps sending him pictures of baby clothes, particularly dresses with flower print. Ben's not into that kind of stuff but it gets him thinking about it. They were going to have a girl. Ben's not going to lie, he kind of expected they were going to have a boy. Like even before Rey got pregnant. Maybe it's because he's a narcissist and he wanted to raise and give his child self the things he's never got. He's such a fucking self absorbed narcissist, he kept imagining their baby to be a boy and a spitting image of him.

Girls were fine (he's not some sexist fuck like his Dad) - it's just it feels like fucking karma. Ben took Rey's innocence and now he's going to be a father to a girl and has to worry about that too. About fucked up boys hurting his daughter. He doesn't even know how his daughter is going to look like but all he could imagine was his daughter being a striking resemblance to Rey. And it only intensifies his guilt.

But Ben's not that horrible. He's been planning to take care of Rey and their mess since day one of conceptualizing this plan. He's not some heartless guy who just fucking gets a girl knocked up and leaves. He sends her a thumbs up and tells her he'll talk to her when he can. He's heading home to continue the ongoing discussion with Mom and Dad.

It's fucking World War III.

* * *

Ben's done shitty things. It was nothing new. He doesn't hesitate when he's going through his Dad's things in the middle of the night. Ben's not scared at all. He's already a disappointment to his parents. This shouldn't be a surprise to them. He digs through until he finds Rey's promise ring in Dad's drawer. He's surprised that Dad didn't throw it out. Ben acts fast and goes to his car and hides it underneath the floor mat of the passenger's seat.

Rey will be happy to have it back. Maybe it'll stop her from mutilating herself. Ben hopes Dad doesn't notice the ring was gone until a few days later when Ben's able to give it back to her. Mom and Dad might cut him off but he doesn't care.

He hates Rey, he really does but he doesn't like anyone else hurting her. He doesn't like how Mom and Dad were treating Rey like him. As if they don't love her anymore. Mom and Dad only stopped by once to visit Rey since she got sent off. Yes Mom and Dad call her but it's not fucking enough. They literally sent her away. They're horrible parents and putting all this pressure on Ben to make sure Rey was doing fine instead of doing that themselves.

Ben doesn't care if it fucking hurts his parents to see Rey pregnant. They're adult and also their parents.

He hates his parents. No really does at the end. He hates them.

* * *

Ben hates himself for not getting Rey pregnant earlier. If he did, she would be able to go to his graduation. He's not sure if Rey can go anymore. She'll still be pregnant then and their parents are more concerned with their family image than anything. Their family's fucking broken. It shouldn't matter anymore. He wants her to be there at his graduation ceremony cheering him on.

Because Ben knows damn well that Rey's the only one that'll be proud of him for getting his high school diploma. His parents won't be since they don't see graduating high school as a big deal. They see it as the bare minimum. It's going to be a depressing graduation since he's planning to take a few years off from school to work and support Rey and their daughter.

Graduating high school should be seen as an accomplishment.

Because it might be the only graduation ceremony he's going to have.

"Don't worry," Rey assured him over the phone. "Whatever happens, I'm going to make you a lei. I'll make you a money one and a candy one. I'll send it to you early in the mail to make sure it arrives on time." She's giving him a smile and it makes him even more upset about the situation.

"Let's change the subject. It's really sad as fuck."

Rey chuckled. "Okay."

"Let's go over names. Do you have any new suggestions?" They've been talking about names practically every day. It's not as simple as they thought. Names were important and Rey wants to make sure they get it right. Mom and Dad don't know about the sex of the baby. Rey and Ben plan not to tell them. They want to have something together besides it's not like Mom and Dad are dying to know. Three-pio voiced more interest in the baby than their parents.

"How about Jazz?"

"Jazz?" he raised his eyebrow.

"Well as a nickname," Rey explained. "Her name will be Jasmine."

Ben made a face. "I don't like Jasmine or Jazz." He knows that Rey wants to give a name to their baby that was easy to have nicknames since Rey was given a short name. You can't abbreviate Rey that much. It's a weird over the top request from Rey but Ben doesn't really care. He's fine as long as the baby was healthy and alive.

"How about Lucia? Her nickname can be Lucy."

"I like Lucy but not Lucia."

Rey sighed. "How about Aria? We can call her Ari?"

"No." The name reminds him of Ariana Grande. He doesn't hate Ariana Grande but he's annoyed by how everyone at high school talks about her. Yeah she's a good singer but high school kids obsess over every damn thing.

"How about Nicole? We can call her Nikki?"

"No."

"How about Isobel?"

"Isabel?"

"Isobel," Rey emphasized the 'o' in it. "The nickname options for that are endless."

She kind of sells the name to him with the 'o' because it feels different to him. Yes it was a common name but he liked the spelling variation of it. It makes it different. "I like that but I want to just call her Isobel. Just Isobel. No variations or nicknames. The name is pretty. Just Isobel." Like Rey.

* * *

Friday comes and Ben already has his bag in his car all ready to go the second school ends. Kaydel keeps trying to talk to him and convince him to have sex with her tonight. Ben keeps telling her that he can't and she gets mad. Ben shrugged. "I don't know what you want me to say. I don't want to and you should leave it as that."

"What's fucking wrong with you?" Kaydel raised her voice. "Who the fuck says no to having sex?"

Ben raised his eyebrow. "People who don't want to," he says like the smartass he was. "You have to respect that." Ben paused. He feels so much of a hypocrite for saying that but to his offense he doesn't demand sex with Rey. He may be pushy but not like Kaydel level. He looked at Kaydel's hand. She still has her promise ring on so she has to be still together with her boyfriend. He has no idea why Kaydel's in such a bad mood then. "Well anyways I hope you have a good weekend."

* * *

There's so much crap in the Three-pio's house. Ben guesses that Rey told Three-pio the gender of their baby because everything's all pink and frilly. That or Rey's been putting everything on her card. It's most likely Three-pio because Rey's like a squirrel and saves her money. Ben kisses Rey on the mouth in front of Three-pio. Three-pio doesn't say a word and looks away and pretends he didn't see it.

Ben's not sure if he kissed Rey because he misses her or he wants a reaction out of Three-pio.

Three-pio's always uncomfortable with public displays of affection. It's not like Rey and him were biological siblings. It's not like Mom and Uncle Luke getting drunk and French kissing each other every Christmas. It's fucking weird as hell.

Rey hugs Ben afterwards. She hugs him tight the way she used to do with her stuffed animals. Ben sighed. He knows she's not going to let go of him the whole weekend until she has to.

"Let's have dinner," Three-pio announces. "You must be starving from the drive."

"Yes I am," Ben said. He drove fucking seven hours to get here because of traffic.

Three-pio's servant cooked up a nice dinner. There's lemon chicken, roasted caramelized brussels sprouts, and fresh homemade bread. It's almost nice except Three-pio was running his damn mouth like he always does. "Have you two decided on any names for the baby?"

Rey and Ben looked at each other. "Um not exactly," Rey said feebly. It's a fucking lie though. Rey and him already have a name set but they want to keep it a secret. There's so much in Rey's life that she can't control and she just wants to hold on to this. To something.

Three-pio spat out his water. "But that's important! The baby will be here soon before you know it! You two should start looking up names. If you want I can take you two to the bookstore tomorrow to buy baby name books."

"I can take Rey and myself," Ben said.

"Are you sure? I don't mind -

"I'm sure," Ben said firmly.

Three-pio frowned. "I know you two want to take care of everything yourselves but there's nothing wrong with getting help from others."

Ben's about to open his mouth when Rey gives him a glare. Ben curses underneath his breath. "Fine," he said through gritted teeth. "We'll let you know when we need your help." Their baby's name is going to be Isobel no matter what. Ben's not going to change his mind.

* * *

After dinner, Ben spends a night in Rey's room like he always does. Except it's a little bit different. He's going to give Rey her ring back. Ben he decides to make it somewhat special and not the half assed way he did the first time around. Rey's been depressed and he wants to make her feel better. He puts her ring on a chain so she can wear it around her neck so it won't be as obvious to Dad. He got a ring box to put the necklace in too. Ben's not good at wrapping and so he doesn't bother trying and so he buys a gift bag and pink tissue paper.

The gift bag is a warm white with different shades of pink watercolor swatches and gold leaf accents scattered. Ben thinks Rey will like that. He also bought some of her favorite snacks and stuffed it in along with some stationery items like washi tape and mini notebooks and other crap. Ben didn't know what she'll like with stationery and so he got a worker from the craft store to help pick some out for him.

He feels rather stupid getting her stuff. He really does. It's weird because he knows Rey and knows what she likes and yet doesn't know what to get her. Ben doesn't know how to wrap his head around that. He knows her favorite stores and colors and hobbies but it was still difficult with all the options and micro variations out there.

Ben tells Rey to set up Netflix so they can watch something. As she's doing that, Ben goes to Three-pio's servant to get the flowers that they were keeping for him in the spare fridge. Ben got her red roses mixed in with some baby's breath. Ben couldn't help but to scold Three-pio. Ben ordered from the nearby florist in this location a simple three flower bouquet with some baby's breath but Three-pio must have called to reorder it as a large ass bouquet. It's over the top and frilly. Like some centerpiece. Ben wants to curse Three-pio out for butting in but Ben decides not to since Three-pio was trying to be helpful.

He feels really, really stupid doing all this crap.

Rey makes a big deal of it too and it doesn't help. She's squealing and giddy. She keeps kissing his cheek as she's going through everything. Rey's rambling on about writing letters to each other if Mom and Dad won't let him live with her. There was no way in hell Ben's going to do that. But at least she's happy. She hasn't been herself in a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I named the baby after Daisy Ridley 💖 (Her full name is Daisy Jazz Isobel Ridley)


	10. Cursive Letters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Probably the most anxiety inducing chapter so far sprinkled in with calm moments from Rey.
> 
> Writing in Ben's pov is my favorite for this fic

Rey begs for him to take her to the craft store after parenting class. Ben begrudgingly agrees. She's acting like her old bubbly self again and he doesn't want that to go away. "I still don't know why we're here," he mumbled. "I got you stationery crap already." Just because he's letting her have her way doesn't mean he has to be nice.

She smiles and rolls her eyes playfully. "Because I need materials to make an embroidery hoop. I want to make something for Isobel, have her name on it with maybe some flowers." That's the thing about Rey, she was very artsy. She loved arts and crafts.

"Will it be a large one or a small one?"

"Large, so it'll look nice in wherever we live."

Ben swallowed hard and followed her. He pushes the cart as she went through the aisles like a little kid. It was still in the air about everything. Ben doesn't want to think about it now. He just wants to enjoy the weekend before heading back. He watches Rey in the thread aisle. She's crouched down on one knee, examining all the options of thread with deep concentration.

"What do you think about these colors?" Rey asked. She goes to him with a handful of colors. Ben can tell she was going for a pastel theme. "What do you think of this color combination?"

"I think it's nice - just depends what design you're going to make."

"I have an idea just it might change once I start. Let me go look at the other options."

He leaned on the cart. Ben knows he's going to be here for a while. Rey always spends an hour at least at any craft or stationery store. It gets him thinking though - about the daughter they're going to have. He wonders how their daughter's going to be. Ben thinks she's going to be exactly like Rey from the mannerisms to appearance. Ben doesn't mind that possibility.

Rey's always been an easy child, calm and loving.

That's why Mom and Dad loved her more.

Ben supposed it's a good thing since he doesn't have to deal with a fucked up kid like himself. No smart ass kid to talk back or getting into trouble. Ben guesses that he should be grateful.

* * *

Kaydel keeps texting him since Friday. She keeps telling him she's having a bad day and needs some comfort. She even sends him some pictures too. It's getting really creepy. Ben tells her to stop but she keeps spamming his phone and so he blocks her. Simple as that.

Rey ends up spending eighty dollars on shit. He doesn't know why all this stuff was so overpriced especially when it doesn't look like much. All of her stuff fits in one bag. Ben holds his tongue and pays for her. He takes them to another hotel to spend the entire day. Rey's being difficult again and wants to start on the hoop first before fooling around. Ben knows Rey and that she might spend the _whole_ day on it. She's like that with every project of hers. Ben has no choice but to let Rey embroider.

He's sitting next to her on the bed, watching her sketched a design on the canvas cloth. Ben has the TV on to keep him preoccupied but it doesn't take him long to get bored. Ben pulls her up on his lap and has her work there.

Rey doesn't seem to mind. She seems rather content on his lap.

He watches her fumble with making several initial sketches. All are nice but Rey's picky and wants it to be perfect. Ben thinks their daughter's going to be an artist too. Maybe even a musician like Rey. It's therapeutic seeing Rey work. She always has a serious face when she embroiders and sews. She makes it look effortless.

She stabs herself with the needle now and then. He stops her every time to give her a kiss on her finger like he used to do when they were little and she begged for him to do so. Rey's nagged him for years to a point Ben does it instinctively without being asked. After the third prick, Ben suggests she takes a break. Rey agrees and so Ben helps her set aside her things so they can have the whole bed to themselves.

He helps her out of her clothes and fucks her. They're careful with the baby though. They looked up safe sex positions for pregnant women. It kind of sucks to know that when Rey gives birth they can't have sex for like two months or something like that until Rey heals. Rey keeps telling him she'll please him with hand jobs and blow jobs until they can have regular sex again.

It's not that Ben needs sex like crazy - it's just he doesn't like being told what to do. It's freaking psychology. If you tell someone not to do something, the person's not going to listen. It's just human nature.

Once they finish, they cuddle in bed. He kisses her on her mouth, then nose, and then her forehead. In said order. Over and over again. Rey giggles and nuzzles her face against his neck. It doesn't take long for Rey to fall asleep. Life feels simple in hotel rooms and he wishes they could stay here forever.

* * *

They wake up to Ben's phone ringing. Rey yawns and stretches her body like a cat. Ben curses underneath his breath as he reached for his phone. It's a short phone call. Rey doesn't know what's happening with how clipped Ben's responses were. The phone call ends altogether and he starts kissing her. Rey smiles and kisses him back. She knows why he's suddenly happy.

He doesn't even need to tell her.

"So when are you moving?" Rey asked as she clung to him.

"I told them the sooner the better. They're hoping to get this done in a week or two."

Rey smiles as she kisses him. "You're going to get sick of me," she teases.

"I already am. But I rather deal with you than anyone else."

* * *

The weekend ends too soon and Ben's back at school. He hates it here. He hates the damn people too. He can't believe he wanted to be back at home all these years. How the fuck did Ben forget how much he hated a lot of people he grew up with? Kaydel's giving him the silent treatment at least.

He's thankful for that. Ben doesn't need anymore shit to deal with.

Ben just wants to get the hell out and be with Rey - it's not that he likes her - he just wants to be away from Mom and Dad. Karma's a real fucking bitch. The day almost goes fully well until Poe Dameron stops him at the parking lot to brag about how he banged Kaydel over the weekend. Ben doesn't know why Poe's telling him this. "Congrats," Ben said with full sarcasm.

"Yeah she's such a whore. She's still with her army boyfriend and yet she had sex with me on Saturday and Chad the day after."

"Okay." Ben reaches for his keys and heads out. Ben doesn't know why Poe is telling him this. Ben doesn't care. He's relieved that Kaydel's gotten over him. She was getting creepy. It's pretty fucking gross to Ben that Poe seems to proud to share that Kaydel fucked Poe's friend after Poe. Ben shouldn't be surprised since the football team have this game of body count.

Ben's not the person to judge about someone's sex life though. But it's fucking weird that the football team gets excited when they all slept with the same girl. Ben wouldn't be surprised if they have orgies or something.

* * *

Throughout the week, Rey sends him progress pictures of her embroidery loop. It's coming out pretty. On video chats he makes her show him her arms to know she's not doing anything stupid. Rey seems to be doing fine and he's relieved because he's miserable as hell. Mom and Dad are arguing with each other now and he barely gets to sleep.

And at school was another animal. Freaking Kaydel keeps slipping naked Polaroids of herself in his locker. Ben reports it to the principal immediately because he doesn't want to be framed for shit. Ben already had that done to him by Poe. Luckily, Principal Holdo is cool and believes him and Kaydel has detention for it.

Ben knows through people running their mouths that Kaydel managed to convince Principal Holdo to not say anything to her parents. Ben doesn't know how Kaydel managed to do that but either way, everyone at school hates him for snitching.

It's so fucking stupid. Kaydel probably bribed Principal Holdo or cried to get out of trouble. Ben's not the one to talk about morality though and he knows it. It's one of the up and downsides of going to a rich school, things can easily be swept under the rug with money.

Ben doesn't care either way since he's going to leave this school.

* * *

The weekend can't seem to come fast enough. He ends up getting into a couple fights alone because guys literally hate him for snitching on Kaydel. Ben ends up getting stuck with detention because apparently it doesn't matter who starts the fight but who leaves the most damage. Ben always wins in a fight. He never lets anyone mess with him and it's not fair that he has detention for defending himself. It's so fucking stupid. If he had known how crazy Kaydel was he would have never fucked her.

Even with all this mess, she's still trying to talk to him.

Ben's counting the minutes until he gets to move and doesn't have to deal with this. He plans on not telling anyone at all so he can just be alone with Rey in peace. Mom and Dad know about the Kaydel problem and swears they won't say a word to Rey. It's the last thing Rey needs to worry about.

He rushes to his car after school and finds his car keyed. Ben curses underneath his breath. Okay, Mom definitely has to let him stay at home now or better yet let him move early. Ben doesn't want to deal with this stupid drama. As he threw his stuff in the trunk, he feels someone sneaking up on him. Ben holds his temper down.

Ben turns and there's Kaydel, with her arms crossed smiling all smugly. "Can I help you?" he asked not too enthusiastically. He knows damn well that Kaydel's too smart to key his car. She probably convinced some sap to do it. Whoever keyed his car did a fucking good job too.

"No," she said nonchalantly. She pretends to look around and _happens_ to notice his car. "Oh my what happened to your car?"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Ben cuts to the chase.

Kaydel scoffs. "What the hell is wrong with _you_? You fucking used me."

Ben raised his eyebrow. "I made it clear about everything since day one," Ben emphasized. "And you said so yourself that you were okay with it. And you have a fucking boyfriend too." Ben doesn't get it at all. Kaydel seemed fine about their casual relationship and even helped him pick out Rey's ring. This is just a complete 180.

"I don't care about him."

"Then why are with him?" Ben snapped.

Kaydel doesn't respond but she doesn't need to. Ben already put the pieces together. She doesn't want to be alone. She was waiting for Ben to come around or something and then she was going to dump her safety net. It's pretty common to be honest. It's fucking horrible but he's known plenty of people that stay with their significant others until they find someone better. Those people don't want to be alone.

He can't help but to feel bad about her since he's not a great person either. And Ben knows that. He's a horrible person and anyone who likes him has very low standards and low self esteem. Ben doesn't want to say sorry to her. Because he already did that once and he doesn't feel that he owes her another one. He gets into his car and drives off.

* * *

The car is in the shop to fix the damage but it's going to take a few days.

Mom and Dad won't let Ben go visit Rey this weekend because of it. It puts him in a bad mood. He's not used to being at home during the weekends. There's no one he can hang out with either since everyone hates him now. At least Mom and Dad finally agree to let him stay home until his stuff was transferred at the other school. Ben lies and tells Rey he has engine trouble and that's why his car was in the shop. Ben mainly locks himself in his room and video chats with Rey their entire weekend.

Not just a few hours at night but like the whole day. They video chat while they're eating and even doing homework. Mom makes a deal about Ben eating inside his room but Dad tells Mom to stop being a bitch. Mom and Dad end up fighting over that. There's literally not a moment that Rey or Ben turn off their laptops even when they leave their rooms.

She doesn't seem upset that he's not here and ironically it makes him upset that she's not. Ben's such a narcissist and he knows it. He feels like he's watching some DIY tutorial video because she's mainly embroidering or doing scrapbooking during their video chat. Rey's happy because he knows she's occupied with her arts and crafts.

Ben knows that he still has to worry about her self harming though. Stuff like that doesn't go away magically after one talk. It's not fucking Full House. He hopes it stops soon though. "Let me see your arms," he tells her.

Rey shakes her head and laughs. "I'm fine. I didn't do anything bad."

"I'm just making sure," he says. "Did you hurt yourself in any other place? I might have to do a strip search." Ben's not trying to be a pervert, he just wants to check because self harming can be in other places besides arms.

Rey wrinkles her nose. "No, I promise officer." She shows him the process of her the loop then.

"Wow it's nice." It really was. She had embroidered Isobel's name in cursive in black thread with sunflowers and leaves framing the name. She has the sunflowers half done since it's super intricated and detailed because she's using like twenty colors for them to show depth and color change. It was everything but simple. "But it's taking you a long time."

"Yeah but it's because I've been working on other projects too. I'm making a scrapbook for the baby." Oh that's another thing about Rey. She knows how to make books down to the binding and all. "And other hoops too since I realized how empty the room will be with just one." Rey shows him the other hoops then. There's no canvas at all because she's making two hoop wreaths with fake sunflowers and other flowers that go with it.

She must have asked Three-pio to take her to get more supplies because Ben's damn sure she didn't buy those supplies when he took her. At least Rey's keeping her hands busy and not doing other things.

"I miss you," she tells him. Her saying that betters his mood. It's not that he was waiting for her to say it or anything. Ben says it back. "We were supposed to be painting mugs today too," Rey sighed.

"We can always do it another time." Ben's kinda relieved he's not there. He knows that whatever he makes won't be as amazing as hers. "So what else is on your to do list?"

She sets aside the wreaths and continues embroidering. "I want to try making socks and a hat for Isobel. I've never made clothes for a baby before so that'll be interesting."

"I imagine it will be easy?"

Rey shrugged. "I think so," she says but with not much confidence. "I looked up the measurements online to help."

Ben smirks as she becomes focused on one of her multiple projects. Rey's always been like this, she always has a list of things to make. She's never done. Ever. "What else is on your list?" he asked as he yawned. Ben checks the time. It's late as hell but he doesn't want to sleep. She tells him her list in great excitement like she always does.

Living with Rey shouldn't be that bad, yeah he might be annoyed with her at times but at least he'll have some peace. He knows it won't lost long though. Once Rey has the baby they're going to move back and he's going to work at the family business. He has no idea how Mom and Dad are going to explain about the baby though. Mom and Dad are still figuring what to pull out of their ass.

Rey finishes up her long list. "The last project on my list is for Fall I want to knit some sweaters for us so we can match and do a family photo."

"All of us?"

Rey giggles. "Yeah. Of course the baby is included. I think it'll be cute."

Ben forces himself to smile. _Great._ It's not that he's sour about the sweaters - it just occurs to him how young they are going to be when they're parents. Rey's going to be fourteen and he's going to be eighteen when the baby's born. Any outsider seeing the photo will assume it's a family photo of siblings. Rey goes on then about the designs she has in mind for the sweaters. She's talking about debating over shades of red.

"Rey," Ben says to shut her up. She can ramble on and on sometimes.

"Yeah?"

"I love you." He means it this time.

"I love you." Rey smiles and he can tell that she knows it too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> question: Do you think they prioritize being siblings first or a couple first?
> 
> More Han and Leia coming soon
> 
> Ps realize this is practically the first characterization of Rey I made where she's artistic 🥺❤


	11. Pretend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> was gonna update "Flannel and Denim" but decided to post this first :')

Ben has a room but he barely uses it. He mainly sleeps with Rey despite Three-pio's wishes. Ben doesn't really care though. He does whatever he wants. It's nice living here. It's quiet and peaceful. His new school is okay. He doesn't put any effort to make friends since he's going to graduate soon. No one knows him and he likes that. Ben can just focus on the important things, get passing grades and take care of Rey.

Three-pio is annoying though. He's smothering and constantly spams Ben's phone every time Ben's a minute late home. "He worries about you," Rey touches Ben's shoulder. "That's all. He means well."

Ben couldn't help but to frown. "I'm not used to it."

"I know."

* * *

Ben takes her to get new bras because her breasts are getting bigger. Her body was preparing for the baby. Soon Rey's going to produce milk. Bens interested in trying her milk because it's never something that he's done before. It was amazing, watching her body change. It was so gradual and yet it happens all so fast. Ben goes inside with her in the changing room and helps her with the hooks and clasps.

She keeps insisting for him to wait outside that she can do it herself but he knows what's best for her. Rey needs her older brother to help her. "You should really go outside - I don't want us to get in trouble."

"We won't." Ben unhooks the bra. The fit is awkward and Ben doesn't like it.

"I don't want anyone to think we're doing something."

Ben laughs.

"No it's not funny. This is serious," she frowns like a little brat she was. She's covering her breasts now with her hands, realizing she was topless.

Ben hushes her. "You're just moody. You'll feel better if you kiss me."

"No." She's pouting.

"Kiss me," he ordered.

Stubbornly Rey does but it's a quick peck. He grabs her and starts kissing her. "That's not good enough," he whispers to her. His hands run up her body. He touches her swollen breasts and gropes them. She shakes her head but she's a liar. He knows she wants it. He can hear her panting, like a pregnant dog with swollen tits. He kisses her neck as he teased her puffy nipples. "Give me a real kiss, like the ones you give in bed."

* * *

He takes her to a hotel once she found new bras that she liked. He takes her to the hotel so they can finish what they started. Ben wanted to fuck her in the changing room but Rey didn't want to. So he takes her to the hotel so she can be comfortable in a nice soft bed. Ben respects her wishes because she's pregnant and knows that she's in pain.

She's giggling as he's positioning her on the bed. He's putting so she can be resting on her side to they can do a sixty nine. He keeps pinching her because she's playing with him and not helping at all by being completely still. She's making him do all the work and she's giggling for that reason. "Bad girl," he says as if she was a dog. He pulls her by her hair but he can't grab her anywhere else with the baby in the way.

Rey just keeps giggling.

This only invites Ben to be more rough with her. He's yanking her by her necklace. The necklace she kept her promise ring around. He yanks her the way you would do to discipline a dog. "Come on."

Rey shakes her head.

Ben nudges her to help him prop her right. If she wasn't pregnant he would be more aggressive, maybe even hit her even. He gets rough with her then. Rey pretends that she's hurt. She's whimpering. She's such a liar, she's smiling as she does this. He knows whenever she was in pain but he keeps up with the charade and kisses her softly until she was satisfied. Once she calmed down, he began nudging her once more.

After insistent nudges, she complies. Ben lays the opposite direction and keeps pressing her thighs to part so he can get right in. There's this game they used to play when they were young. Rey liked to pretend to be a dog and he would pretend to be her master. They started playing it again recently. Nothing's really changed except it's sexual now.

When Mom and Dad found out about the pregnancy, they called Ben and Rey animals.

Because animals fuck and don't care if they were related. Maybe Ben and Rey were animals because they didn't care. Brother, sister - boyfriend, girlfriend - it was all the same to them. There's no separation. It all felt natural.

* * *

Rey has trouble getting up now. With the baby and all. He has to help her out of chairs and the bed. She can barely move and all she does is want to rest. He even has to help her shave her legs. Ben can't wait for the baby to come out. He doesn't like having to be careful and delicate with Rey. Once Rey was healed Ben just wants to throw her around for having to be gentle with her for nine months.

Mom and Dad are coming today to check up on them.

Rey's excited.

At least someone was.

They sleep in their own rooms last night, just in case their parents come early in the morning. They do. Ben had trouble sleeping, he's not used to sleeping without Rey. Mom and Dad greet Rey first and hug her the longest. Ben's not surprised since they haven't seen her in a while. "How's my little girl and the baby?" Dad asks.

"We're fine. We're just tired," Rey laughs weakly.

Dad touches her stomach. "You don't even look pregnant. It just looks like you have a pillow under your shirt." Rey really does. She has a thin and slender frame with a large belly, it doesn't look real at all sometimes. That's why Ben constantly takes off her clothes at night, to check.

"I wish," Rey laughs.

"Have you two decided to find out the gender?" Mom asks with hope in her voice.

"No," Ben says instantly. Ben glares at Three-pio too to make sure he keeps his mouth shut as well. "We want it to be a surprise." Rey and him spent the whole night before hiding all the evidence. The embroidery loop, the dresses, the stuffed animals, and everything pink that Three-pio bought. Ben knows Mom and Dad will be relieved it's going to be a girl. So the baby will be like Rey.

"I don't understand you kids. You have so much technology at your fingertips," Dad frowned. "And yet you two want to do some hippie shit."

He shrugged.

* * *

Ben can tell that Rey can see through the fakeness of their parents. She looks uncomfortable as hell but she keeps up with the charade, smiling nervously and all. Ben just wants them to leave. "Rey," Mom begins, gesturing for her to the piano. "Why don't you play for us?"

Rey hesitates for an excuse and so she forces herself to nod. Mom sits next to her on the bench and touches her hair lovingly. It was transparent that Rey doesn't like this display of affection anymore by how much her shoulders were tensing. Rey's not a little girl anymore. She's going to be a mom.

Once the song ends, Mom and Dad clap.

Mom and Dad are so full of shit. Acting like they care. They barely visit Rey. They're too focused on their wallows to take care of Rey. Ben wishes Mom and Dad just cut to the chase and give them bad news. "Do you want me to braid your hair?" Mom asks her. She continues to pet Rey's hair like a little girl. It makes Rey and Ben uncomfortable. Rey's not a kid anymore but Mom doesn't see that.

"No thank you," Rey said politely.

Mom frowned. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Ben turned away from seeing Mom's face fall. It's too painful to watch.

* * *

Dad makes some excuse to the girls so he and Ben can talk in private. They go in the backyard and sit underneath the gazebo. "How are you adjusting to your new school?"

"I'm fine," Ben said, trying not to give attitude. Dad already asked earlier. Twice.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm sure. It's much better than my old school. There's no drama since I'm the new kid and the arrangement is better. I'm closer to Rey and have more time. I can focus on school and Rey more. I save money on gas too."

He nods. "That's good."

Ben's skin tightened to the tone in his father's voice. It was to the point. Clipped. "This isn't what you want to talk about, is it?"

Dad swallowed hard. "Maybe it'll be better if you and Rey stay here a little bit longer."

Ben blinked. "You mean even after the baby is born?"

"Yeah," he cleared his throat. "We decided to go with the whole adoption story. People will believe it since we've adopted before. If the baby looks like Rey we can say we found her half sibling and wanted her to be reunited."

"How noble of you two," Ben said dryly. "But what if the baby looks like me?" That was a high possibility but somehow Ben even doubts it. He's been thinking about how his daughter's going to look and he can't see nothing but Rey's face.

"We'll tell people we were charmed by the resemblance and decided to take the baby in."

Ben bit his lip. "How about work?" The plan was to work at the family business the second he graduated. Ben was disappointed in his parents. They took this long to come up with this stupid and obvious plan. If only they thought of this earlier because now things were backed up.

"You can take some time off until this is sorted," Dad offered. "You already had a tough year as it is. Besides Rey will need some help with the baby being born in the summer."

That was true. The first few months with a newborn are going to be hard but after that, Ben wants to start working. Maybe he'll pick up a minimum wage job for extra money until then. He and Rey had started a savings not too long ago for safety because their parents are going to stop supporting them the moment Rey turns eighteen. Mom and Dad were still going to pay for her college and Ben too if he decides for that path years down. "Okay," Ben said as he shifted his weight to the other side.

"Okay," Dad exhaled.

There's silence for everything was settled but nothing was solved.

* * *

Mom and Dad stay for the whole weekend. Ben wishes they would leave so he can share the same bed with Rey. He's glad that he and Rey live with Three-pio so they can do whatever they want. Mom keeps trying to baby Rey it's fucking annoying. Ben can tell Rey was annoyed as well.

He doesn't like anyone touching Rey especially when it was clear that Rey didn't want it. Ben's not possessive. He just doesn't like anyone messing with Rey. Especially when Rey didn't want it.

"Stop," Ben ends up saying to his mother.

Mom raised her eyebrow in confusion. "Stop what?"

"Playing with Rey's hair. She already said she didn't want you to braid it."

"Alright. Someone's cranky."

"I'm not cranky," Ben snapped at her. It was just like Mom to have one of her snide ass comments. When were they going to leave? Can't they tell that they over stayed their welcome? Not even Three-pio wanted them around and was being nonconfrontational and hiding.

Mom frowned. "Don't talk to me like that, Benjamin." Ben stops talking altogether. The last thing he needed was to get into a fight especially when he wants his parents to leave as soon as possible. "Let's go out for a drive Ben."

Ben grumbled, "Fine." He knows he can't get out. Ben kisses Rey on her mouth in front of Mom and Dad out of spite. Mom and Dad froze into place. Rey took a step back and blushed in embarrassment. Ben wishes Rey would have kissed him back, maybe give some tongue to fucking hurt Mom and Dad more. But Rey's not like that, she's shy.

* * *

"I really wished you waited with Rey," Mom said. They were in the car, Mom was driving and her eyes were on the road. That's the difference between Mom and Dad. Dad parks in a private area so they can have the talk while Mom just keeps driving while having the discussion because she doesn't want to look at her son. It was too painful for her to look at what she made. A monster.

"Why do you keep telling me this?" Ben asked his mother. "It's already too late. There's nothing you can do to change the fact." Why does his mother keep beating around the same bush? What happened had happened. Rey's pregnant and he and her are going to be parents.

Mom sighed. "I know. I know. But you should have waited longer until she was older. You should have let her have experiences of her own first."

"Maybe I didn't want her to have them," Ben said bitterly. He's lying but he doesn't care. He just wants to hurt his mother. "I just want it to be only me."

She winced. "You don't mean that Ben."

"I do mean it," he said with false honesty. "That's why I purposely knocked Rey up at thirteen before other boys could go after her. I wanted to be her first. First kiss. First time. First everything," Ben goes on, watching as his mother trembled. "Maybe I got her pregnant to make sure no one will want her. I marked her like a dog marking it's territory," he hears the tone in his voice change. But Ben keeps going. Menacing as ever. "So she can never leave me. If years down the line she wants to leave, I'll just get her pregnant again."

"Ben." Mom takes a second to look at him, to search for his bluff. Ben's good with keeping his emotions contained.

"Admit it to yourself Mom. You know it's true."


	12. Glitter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> side note I really love naming the chapters in this story ❤
> 
> PS I'm estimating this story to be 20 chapters. We'll see it's a rough estimate.

Mom ends up slapping him in the face.

Ben doesn't blame her. They were parked off to the side of the road because he went too far and Mom hits him for it. She's seething now, attempting to collect herself. Mom's never hit him before but Ben knows he deserves it. "How could you do that to your sister?" Mom yells at him.

"I love her," Ben lies.

Mom curses at him. "You're her brother you're not suppose to love her that way. Rey deserves better than this -

"Than me?" Ben frowned.

"You know what I mean. You're her brother - you're not supposed to be" - Mom stops herself. She covering her eyes with her hands and Ben goes quiet to the sound of her sobs. "She's only a little girl, Ben. She had a few years left of being a child. She was supposed to go to college, do whatever she wants to do in life, and eventually get married and have a family of her own. Rey had so much potential and you just took it all away."

"I didn't ruin her life!" Ben screamed. Mom didn't say those exact words but he knows what she's implying. "Rey can still do those things. She can do all of it." But it won't be in the expected order though. And it wouldn't be with any other man either. Ben knows no one will want Rey once they find out her past.

"I'm really worried about her years down the line. She's too young to be having sex and being a mother. I'm afraid it's going to affect her when she's older."

"It won't," Ben shook his head. "She's happy with me and that's never going to change." Mom doesn't even answer. She just keeps crying. Ben doesn't say another word. He just sits back and waits for Mom to stop. He really was a shitty son.

* * *

Mom and Dad end up leaving shortly afterwards. They don't even look at him. They just leave without giving an excuse. Rey doesn't ask Mom what happened or ask their parents why. Rey just lets them go and takes care of him. She's icing his eye right now. Mom hit him so hard it's getting black. Rey strokes his hair too. It feels nice. Makes him feel less bad about himself. "I can't believe Mom hit you," she lowered her eyes from the bruise.

"Me either," Ben swallowed hard.

Rey bit her lip. "What happened?" she asked with caution. "With you and Mom."

"We ended up having a fight. Mom thinks I'm not good enough for you and that you're going to regret being with me years from now."

Rey puts the ice pack down and clings on to him. "Mom's wrong," she said as if she was a frightened little girl. "I won't. I love you and that's never going to change." Ben holds her tight and rubbed her back to calm her down.

"Everything's alright."

"No it isn't!" her lips trembled. Rey's so close to crying. He wished she was, Rey was pretty when she cried. "Mom shouldn't be hitting you. It's not like you wanted this to happen."

Ben's mouth twitched. He shakes his head then and lowered his eyes. "I can't believe our parents think so low of me," he feigns a sigh. Rey comforts him then with kisses and nuzzling. He really likes the attention. "Am I really that horrible?" he asked in a low somber tone. Ben tries desperately not to smile.

She shakes her head frantically. "No. You're not. They're wrong. They don't know you the way I do."

"Will you always love me, Rey?" he asked in a feeble voice.

"Yes."

Ben smiles. She says this with so much confidence and certainty. "Are you sure?"

She laughs. "Yes, of course."

"How about even when I make mistakes?"

Rey kisses him hard on his mouth. He grabs her and pulls her to his lap. They kiss for a while and she even calms down his excited cock. "There's nothing you can do to make me not love you," Rey says.

He decide to test it out then. "You want to know something?"

She raised her eyebrow. "What?"

Ben gives her his phone then. He clicks on this google photo drive and types up a certain date. To photos of someone's thirteenth birthday. Ben waits as she looked through the photos. He suppresses a smile as he sees her shock on a few of the pictures that he took. Rey blinked several times as she went silent.

"What's...what's this?" she looked up at him with furrowed eyebrows.

Photos of her that he took when she wasn't looking. Some angles were questionable. Rey shouldn't have worn a dress that day. "I don't know what came over me," Ben admitted. He was telling the truth now. "I haven't seen you in a while until your thirteenth birthday and you were so pretty and all grown up."

He holds his breath as she kept staring at the photos. She's pale and she looks confused. Maybe even scared. "Why...why did you take photos up my skirt?"

"I don't know. I was very confused about it myself. You looked so different and pretty - it was the day I realized my feelings for you. I didn't want you to find out about it because I knew you were going to be freaked out by me but you deserve to know. I know I shouldn't have taken these photos without your knowledge but I couldn't help myself. I won't ever do that again."

Rey nods. "Did you...ever take any other photos of me...like this?"

"No, just on your birthday." Ben's being honest. He's never done that before. Honest. He's never taken any photos of any girl like that before either. To be truthful, he's not sure why he did take those photos that day. Rey proceeds to look through his entire photo storage to confirm his statement. "Are you mad? Disgusted?"

"No, I'm not. I get it." She hands him back the phone. She seems calmed down now. "It was a very confusing time for us both before we got together. We've known each other since forever and we didn't really understand how we felt."

"Do you still love me?" Ben asks with a grin. He knows that she does but wants to hear it. Rey was a very forgiving person and loyal too.

Rey smiles at him with endearment. "Yeah." Rey giggles as she leaned to kiss him. "Just if you want to take...those kind of photos let me know. But please don't take any while I'm still big."

"I won't," Ben promises. He really means it too.

* * *

Rey turns fourteen before Ben knows it. For Rey's birthday, Ben gets her a monthly subscription of Japanese stationery. She likes it of course because she's into crafting and cute shit. Ben usually doesn't get her birthday gifts but he figures he has to now since Rey expects a lot since things are different. Three-pio gets her a lot of things, more than Ben can keep track of. Mom and Dad stop by for Rey's birthday and the Solos go out for dinner.

They go to the vegan sushi spot because Rey's pregnant and can't have raw fish. It's fine though because there were new things on the menu that Rey and him wanted to try. Mom and Dad got Rey a diamond bracelet and of course, they over stay their welcome and ended up being at the house for the entire weekend. Mom can't believe that Rey is fourteen now. And also the fact that Rey was going to be a mom soon. A mom before she starts high school too.

Mom avoids him. Even in the same room. She's still shaken up about the lies he told her. Ben doesn't care. It served Mom right to keep shoving the same thing in his face. Rey's pregnant, there's nothing they can do to stop it.

"Everyone misses you back home," Dad says to Rey.

Of course he's talking to Rey. Who else would miss Ben? Rey just smiles to be polite. "Can you tell them I miss them too?" she asked.

Dad smiles and nods. "Of course kid. All of your friends say they can't wait to see you in the summer."

Ben watches Rey tense up. They're not sure if they can even go back in the summer with the baby and all. The baby will be born but with the whole adoption story, they can't bring the baby because it'll be too early. They're certain that they would have to leave the baby with Three-pio if they wanted to go back home for their parents' annual summer party. Rey just smiles and nods.

* * *

Ben's graduation is approaching and Rey spends all her free time locked up in the office room making him things. It wouldn't be as bad if she didn't spend _so_ much time away from him. It would be one thing if it was a couple hours but it's not. She literally spends half the whole day away from him. Ben keeps telling her that he doesn't care if he sees but Rey being stubborn refuses him to go inside.

"It's already late," Ben says as he knocked on the door. It's fucking eleven at night but she's still making things like a fucking elf at Santa's toy shop. "Let's go to bed."

"No."

He bangs on the door. "Rey come out! You need to sleep and so does the baby." Rey likes using the baby card but so does he. He hears her grumble and then sigh. Ben pressed his ear against the door. He can hear her cleaning up and also hiding things away. She's such a kid. She thinks that he's going to peek but he's not. Ben waits for the door to open.

Rey has a grumpy expression on her face. Ben just smirks as he put his hand on her back and motions her to go to their room. He locks the door as she slipped underneath the covers. She's pretending she's tired. She's such a liar. Ben goes to her and takes off her clothes. Rey makes a fuss and whines. "You're able to stay up the whole night to do your crafts but not to spend some time with me?" he asked.

She swats him away with her hands.

Ben grabs them and puts them above her head. He stops when he sees how much glitter and ink covered her hands. He feels some dried up glue as well but Ben's too impatient to tell her to wash them. "I was busy making gifts for _you,_ " she emphasized.

"I don't care. Besides I don't know why you're starting so early when my birthday hasn't even passed yet."

"I like being prepared," Rey explains.

"Does that mean you already finish making me a gift for my birthday?" he asked with a cocky grin.

Rey doesn't answer. She doesn't have to. Ben dips his head to kiss her.

* * *

They see Mom and Dad more now - it's not because they're trying but because they have to out of obligation events. His birthday. His graduation. And soon when Rey's going to deliver. Ben hates it. He hates having to act normal around them which includes pretending to be a normal brother to Rey and not the one that fucks her regularly. Mom and Dad visit on his birthday and they took him out to eat for dinner. They gave him five hundred dollars for his gift. The money may seem like a lot but Ben knows damn well Mom and Dad spent more on Rey's birthday gift. Ben doesn't complain and pockets his gift.

Rey makes him a pop up card. It's super fancy with cut outs and origami flowers. She also makes him an accordion scrapbook of all the photos she makes them take from time to time. The stuff she got him is useless not going to lie but it's the thought that counts. At least the photos she chosen were nice.

Mom and Dad only stay for the day and leave immediately after dinner. It's a stark contrast with how their parents treat them. For Rey's birthday, they stay for the entire weekend from Friday to Sunday and get her a diamond bracelet. While for Ben's he gets one evening and money. But Ben doesn't mind. He gets that Rey's the baby of the family and she gets special treatment from everyone. Three-pio does make Ben cake and he guesses Three-pio's not that bad. Three-pio gets him a watch too but Ben doesn't really care of it. And Ben's relieved their parents' visit was short for he gets to spend time with Rey.

Ben takes Rey to a hotel after Mom and Dad leave. It's special because it's his birthday and probably the last hotel time they have. Three-pio suggests Rey and Ben starting next week that they stay nearby since she's going to be eight months pregnant and Three-pio wants them close just in case. Ben and Rey plan to but for tonight they're just enjoying their last hotel escapade before the baby comes.

They see themselves still checking in hotel rooms now and then but with their baby too.

Ben uses his fake ID to get alcohol sent to their hotel room. Don't worry, he ordered something for Rey. He got her some ice cream because she was craving some despite having so much sweets for his birthday. He gets them a fancy hotel room, one with a big jacuzzi for them to use together. They used to take baths together until he was eight because Mom thought he was too big for it.

They're in the tub and he's helping her with her hair. She decided to put it up and there's a lot of pins to take out. "I like you hair down," he tells her. Rey had long pretty hair and he doesn't understand why she likes to keep it up. "I don't like it when you use stiff hair spray either."

Rey just nods but he knows she's not listening. She's dozing off in the tub because the water is nice and hot. It's okay if she falls asleep. Ben doesn't mind. After all it's his birthday and she did say he can do whatever he wanted. He takes his time taking out all the pins in her hair before positioning her.

* * *

Mom and Dad invited Uncle Luke to come to Ben's graduation but he doesn't come. It's okay though. The only person he cared coming was Rey. Graduation is fine. Ben really has no opinion since he doesn't know anyone at this school. So it's not as sentimental or meaningful. But at least he graduated and he attended his ceremony. Rey brings her polaroid camera to immortalize this moment in her scrapbook.

Rey gives him the leis she made - three candy ones and two money ones. The money ones were impressive. She must have used about two hundred dollars in ones to have the volume. Mom and Dad got him flowers ones from the store and balloons too. Everyone hugs him, even Three-pio. Ben's pretty sure he didn't invite Three-pio but oh well.

They spend thirty minutes taking pictures. It's normal except any picture that Rey's in, they make sure not to do a full body shot to hide her pregnant stomach. They all know they can crop it on their phones but they don't want to take the chance of it being leaked or accidentally sent.

"Three-pio take a picture of me and Rey," Ben ordered.

"I think we took enough photos," Dad said.

"I didn't get a picture of just me and Rey."

Mom makes a face.

Ben rolled his eyes. "What? I can't get a picture with my own sister?"

Mom and Dad went quiet.

Ben sighed. No matter what, Mom and Dad always manage to ruin everything. Even something as little as a photo with his sister on graduation. It pisses him off because he and Rey are acting normal for their parents. They're not even hugging despite it being a special occasion. "Three-pio just take the goddamn photo."

Three-pio hesitates but proceeds to. "Would you want me to take a photo with your polaroid camera Rey?" he asked her. Three-pio purposely avoids eye contact from Mom and Dad.

Rey perks up. "Ye-

"That's enough," Dad says as he took her camera from her hands.

* * *

The bad thing about graduation is that Mom and Dad aren't leaving. They're going to stay here with Ben and Rey because Rey's due in two weeks but they want to be here just in case she's early. They're going to be here until she delivers and help out the first few weeks. Ben can't stand it. It was one thing having to pretend to be normal siblings for a weekend but this was much longer than that.

This was going to be a month at least.

Ben hates not being able to sleep in the same bed with her. He hates that he can't even hold her hand without Mom and Dad making a fuss. Ben and Rey still manage to sneak around and be kiss here and there but it's not the same. Ben wonders if their parents know that he and Rey have sex regularly despite her being pregnant. Their parents are old fashioned and see it as some taboo.

It's not, it's completely normal. As long as you take the right precautions and shit. Even her doctors say it was okay. Ben knows that there are a lot of bitch ass men losing attraction to their partner being pregnant. Ben was weirded out by it at first but he got over it because he wanted Rey to feel better about her body.

Mom and Dad don't like Ben touching Rey. They make Ben and Rey keep the door open and unlock at all times. Mom doesn't even let Ben massage Rey. Rey's due any time and she's in a lot of pain, and massages help. And Rey certainly doesn't want their parents touching her. "Please don't make a big deal," Rey sighs. She brushes his hands away from her shoulders.

"Why are you telling me this?" Ben snapped at her.

"Because I'm tired of everyone fighting," Rey breathed. "I just want everyone to get along and have some peace and quiet."

"Tell that to Mom and Dad."

"You know how they are," she said calmly.

Ben frowned. "Are you saying it's my fault?"

Rey rolled her eyes and breathed. "God no. But it would help if you just ignore the shit they say." He can sense that she was irritated because Rey doesn't curse at all. Ben doesn't blame her. She's going to have the baby at any time now and the lack of privacy and control certainly wasn't helping. Ben can't help but to fight with their parents. They make everything so difficult. Ben can't even hug Rey without getting glared at.

Ben proceeds to massage her. She tries shrugging him off but he doesn't let her. "I'm sorry but you know I'm trying to help." Ben kisses the back of her neck. He knows he's not supposed to when Mom and Dad are in the house but he doesn't care. Mom's just fucking mad that Rey doesn't want Mom in the delivery.

Rey exhaled. "I know everyone's trying to help."

He moved to kiss her on the mouth. "I'm doing the best job, right?"

Rey smiles and giggles softly. "Yes." She doesn't hesitate to kiss him back.

Dad comes rushing in and pries them apart. Dad's yelling at them, comparing them to animals again. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" Dad yells at him. Ben and Rey don't make a fuss. Not at all. Rey already knows that Ben's planning to sneak in her room at night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woo Ben and Rey finally had their birthdays! He's 18 and she's 14 now 🎂


	13. Best Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter aka "Sometimes"
> 
> it's a very bleak chapter. It's a really heavy chapter and was hard for me to write.

Sometimes, Ben wonders if Rey is happy.

Rey hasn't been cutting herself since he's been around but he imagines the stress of Mom and Dad here is affecting her. It certainly was for him. His sister had always been passive even as a child. Ben thought Rey would have voiced her opinion when Mom forced her way in to the delivery. But no, Rey didn't do that. It wasn't in her nature but it was for him. Ben made a big deal about Mom being manipulative and had to kick her out.

Mom made a fuss like she always does because she's a bitch but she calms down when the baby comes.

Ben can't really remember the details of the labor and delivery. It was all a blur. It happened so fast and yet felt like forever but Isobel's finally here. And she was healthy too. Isobel is loved dearly by Rey. Ben knows that he does too but he knows Rey loves her more. It was always like that, something that Ben accepts. Rey loves more than him. Rey loves life more. Rey loves their parents more too. Ben even can admit that Rey loves him more than he loves her. It's not that he's a shitty person it's just the truth.

Rey was that type of person.

Everything comes so easy for Rey, even being a parent. Isobel looks exactly like her too with the only difference was that Isobel's hair was a darker shade of brown. She does have Ben's curls though. Rey thinks Isobel's hair will get darker over time and Ben can see that. It's hard to grasp Isobel's character since she's only a few days old but so far he notices that she's relatively quiet. Like Rey. Isobel only cries when she's hungry. Rey's still learning how to get the baby to latch.

The nurse says it'll get easier with time that pretty soon it'll be effortless.

Rey hopes this to be true. She struggles with the baby letting go countless times while being fed. It takes forever to get the baby to find her nipple too. Mom and Dad are still here trying to help and shit. Rey says he should be thankful but Ben doesn't like their parents all over them. It's suffocating. He snaps at Mom and Dad at least three times a day.

Mom keeps insisting to help Rey with feeding Isobel but Rey's not comfortable having her breasts being exposed to Mom. And Ben doesn't blame Rey. It's fucking weird. Mom keeps trying to take over with the baby. Ben has to remind Mom to step back and let Rey learn. That's how Mom is, Mom likes to take control and take over things.

Rey's a great mom, Ben thinks. She's fourteen yeah but all new moms are learning. It's normal to make mistakes. Ben's sure that Mom's made plenty with him. Dad's dad with the baby. He only wants to have fun with Isobel but runs whenever she cries. Isobel doesn't even cry that much. She only does for natural things - hunger, tiredness, and needing to be changed.

Dad wouldn't be as bad if he kept his mouth shut but he doesn't. He critiques everything Ben does with the baby from the way Ben holds her to how Ben swaddles her. Dad's such a sexist fuck and thinks taking care of a child was a woman's job.

By the end of the week, Ben loses his temper and manages to get Mom and Dad to leave. He waits for Rey to yell at him for being an ass but instead she gives him a relieved smile.

* * *

Sometimes, Ben finds himself having trouble forming a bond with Isobel. There was nothing wrong with Isobel, she's perfect. She doesn't cry as much or fussy. She's calm. Ben thinks there's something wrong with him. He tries looking it up online to find an answer. Nothing comes up besides post partum depression and it doesn't apply to him since he's not a girl.

At least Rey didn't get that because Ben wouldn't know what he'll do. Ben knew from the beginning, even before conception that Rey was going to be a good mother and he relied on that for their child. It's not like he hates his daughter - Ben stops to grimaces at the term - it's just, so different. It's always been just him and Rey and now there's another person in their life.

It's not like he's jealous of the baby - he's not that twisted. It's just that he's afraid of messing up with her. Rey's perfect and Isobel's perfect while Ben's not. He tries to be involved with taking care of Isobel but it doesn't feel like second nature. Whenever he holds her he's afraid he might drop her or crush her. Isobel's so small and delicate and it scares him shitless.

He's read up all the precautions from parenting class. The one that mainly stays with him were stories of parents accidentally killing their baby in their sleep by crushing them. So that's why Ben's strict with the baby sleeping in the crib. To avoid that. It's really common with new parents due to sleep deprivation and Ben doesn't want to take the risk. The other thing that gets him are hearing the reports of parents accidentally leaving their baby in the car.

Maybe it'll be easier for Ben to get close to Isobel when she's not so fragile. And have knee caps. It's so strange to know that babies aren't fully developed from their skull to main joints. Ben just wants to keep the baby in the crib forever where it's safe.

Ben's thankful he and Rey have Three-pio to help. Three-pio's not that bad. He may be smothering but knows when to back off and give Rey and Ben space to figure shit out. Ben's not a bad dad, he thinks. He helps out. He helps wake up Rey for every feeding and keeps up with the log list. Their doctor is making them do this for a reason he can't remember. Ben can't think clearly on the account he hasn't slept well but he also holds the baby and changes her diaper too - well with Rey's help because he's worried about the baby rolling.

The baby can't even roll yet but he's a paranoid fuck.

Isobel still has her umbilical cord and Ben's anxious about it. It's all so, so weird to him. They have to let that thing fall off on its own but regularly clean Isobel. Yeah he took a health class in high school and parenting classes but he doesn't feel prepared at all. Isobel was in Rey's stomach for the longest time and now she's here. It doesn't feel real at all.

* * *

Sometimes, Ben thinks about the life he stole from Rey.

Rey was going to start high school and join several clubs and be on the planning committee. She was going to be all in the honors and AP classes and go to dances and go to dates. Maybe have a steady boyfriend. Rey will be popular of course because she's Rey. She was going to graduate with honors and go to a great college. That life for her was all gone but not quite. Rey was still going to go get her high school diploma and go to college but it won't be the same.

She's not going to be able to enjoy teenager things. She has a baby and they're together. And Ben's not open to sharing. He's been in casual relationships before but he doesn't like the idea of anyone else touching her. He'll let her go to parties and dances and shit but it's not going to be the same. Rey has responsibilities and she's not going to be able to fully enjoy those things without thinking about the baby.

Ben really ruined her life. She was supposed to have a carefree happy high school experience but he took that away. He's not guilty either because he hates her, he really does. She always had everything so easy in her life and that's why he gotten her pregnant. He wanted her to suffer. Have some struggles.

Mom and Dad face time them tonight. Again. They're talking about the whole situation. "I think for now, it'll be best for you to still be homeschooled," Mom says to Rey.

"Why?" Rey asked as she clung on to the baby. Isobel was sleeping, peacefully sucking on her pacifier. Ben's skin tightened. He can hear it in Rey's voice that she's broken up about it.

Dad sighed. "We're still figuring out things and for now it's best for you to be at home taking care of the baby. At most a year. It won't be that bad since you have to feed the baby every few hours."

"It'll be more convenient for you to be homeschooled so you won't be dealing with trying to pump milk out during short breaks in the nurse's office," Mom adds.

Rey opens her mouth but she stopped to think about it. Rey bits her lip and nodded slowly. She hates that Mom's right, Ben can tell. "Okay," she said.

Ben doesn't say anything because he doesn't want to admit to Mom and Dad that they're right. It would be much better for Rey and her high school experience. She can go to school next year and not having to worry about her breasts leaking and trying to hide around the fact she's pumping milk. It will all be a burden for Rey. She won't be able to eat as much since she'll be busy going back and forth to the nurse's office to pump milk and remembering to pick up the bottles after school in secret. Next year she can hang out with her friends during break and lunch without them being suspicious.

"Don't be sad," Mom said pursing her lips. "You're going to thank me when school starts. You can start school later in the day and finish school early for Isobel. You haven't used a pump before and trust me it's horrible."

Rey smiled slightly.

* * *

Ben can't fuck Rey yet. She's still healing. It's almost two months, they're almost there. She does oral on him whenever he needs it though. He mainly gets off with playing with her breasts though. Her breasts have grown so much and they're filled with milk. Her milk tastes sweet, reminds him more of Japanese melon milk more than anything. It's not exactly thick or creamy like cow's milk.

He doesn't particularly enjoy the taste but the fact that her milk was temporary. It's more of the novelty of it all. Ben always sucks on Rey's tits whenever Isobel was done of course. Rey produces a lot of milk since she's practically feeding for two. Rey's sensitive whenever he touches her breasts and Ben likes that. She gets really, really aroused. He likes teasing her and squeezing the milk out of her tender breasts. Sometimes, he'll be an ass and do that when she still has her shirt on to make a wet mark. It's not that he wants to torture Rey, Ben just finds it amusing.

He gets himself off dry humping her or getting head but he mainly comes with putting his dick in between her breasts and getting himself by that. He likes coming on her face and neck. No matter how many times he does it, she's always surprised.

Rey's insecure about her body with the excess weight so she rarely lets him fully undress her. Ben would make a big deal out of it but he decides to be kind since she did have a baby. It was pretty rough for her, a lot of blood and pain. He waits for Rey to put the baby in the crib so they can have some time together. Ben doesn't really miss sex because he still manages to have fun.

He yanks her to bed and tugs down her shirt and bra. Rey starts giggling, like she always does. She's such a slut and she knows it. She lost her virginity at thirteen and you can't really deny the fact. Yeah he got her pregnant but she was the one who was willing to sleep with him. Ben kisses her bare skin while his hand gently massaged her breast. "You're such a slut," he tells her. "A bitch."

"A bitch?"

"A female dog," he clarifies which definition he was using.

She pouts but he knows she was playing around. Rey likes to play. "How come I'm not 'puppy' anymore?" she asked. He always called her that even when they were kids.

Ben just laughs. He bends his head and begins to lick her nipples. Milk is already trickling. He's been finding himself getting more and more rough with her but Rey doesn't mind. He thinks Rey likes it. "Because you're not a puppy anymore once you have a baby."

"Puppy sounds so much cuter than dog."

"I know," he smirked. He likes being mean to her. "But you're not a puppy anymore. You have a baby and your tits are filled with milk. Puppies don't have that."

* * *

Isobel reminds Ben so much of Rey.

He expected this and yet somehow it catches him off guard. Like, he got Rey pregnant and they made a baby who was a copy of her. It's a really trippy concept. Isobel's still small, mainly functioning on instinct but Ben can tell that Rey's going to be the favorite parent. It brings him down how much he's having trouble being in tune with his paternal instincts. Isobel's exactly like Rey - she looks like Rey and acts like her too but his mind cant process it.

Isobel is different but Ben can't put his finger on it.

Ben love Isobel he knows that but it's more of him trying to convince himself that. She's a stranger, he doesn't know her. With Rey, Ben warmed up to her instantly. He wonders why he struggles with this. He's holding Isobel in his arms. She's sleepy and yawning lazily. He's never going to hurt her and the only thing he was waiting was to love this child he brought in to this world.

He's heard this saying about when you have a child, that child will become your main priority. Even more than your significant other. For Ben, he's the completely opposite. Isobel's a priority but Rey will always be his first one. He's looked it up online and it happens but it isn't as common. There's no article that indicates there's something wrong with him and so he feels at peace.

It's like parents having favorites. It happens (although not common) but as long as they treat their kids well it was fine.

Ben knows that Rey's priority now is Isobel. He's not jealous he swears to God. He just calls it as it is. He's been diving more and more to the parent forums. Apparently there's a community of parents who struggle forming an attachment with their children. It's a majority of women but a good group of men. It comforts him at least.

He doesn't want to tell Rey this. She will be so disappointed in him and Ben can't blame her. It's really, really fucked up of him.

* * *

The end of summer comes and it's concluded by Mom and Dad's annual end of summer party. Rey and Ben have to go and leave the baby behind. They don't want to go, especially Rey who's never been apart from Isobel. Ben has but only a couple of hours because of work. He picked up a part time job at a supermarket in the summer. It's not how he wants to live but they need money.

It really woke him up on how much they need money. He plans on trying to talk to his godfather Lando at the party in letting him work at Lando's company. Mom and Dad are being indecisive about everything and Ben doesn't want to wait around working a minimum wage job when he can be working at Lando's company for higher pay. Lando has several companies and one of the branch locations was nearby.

Rey thinks it's a good idea since their current living situation was most likely going to be for another year. And Ben wants to save as much as he can. Ben's struggling as it is to find minimum wage job that offers full time. Part time wasn't cutting it. There's a whole waitlist for full time positions and there's a lot of coworkers who's been there for three years unable to get it.

The whole system fucking sucks.

They're getting ready to drive up to Mom and Dad's. Mom and Dad are forcing them to stay the weekend and Rey's bummed out being away from Isobel for that long. Rey's thinned out over the last three months at least. You couldn't tell she had a baby but they're stuck with the problem of her breasts. Her body's programmed to produce milk like crazy so the drive's going to be hell. They have to stop every few hours so she can pump.

It'll be the first time for her using the breast pump.

And Rey has to pump throughout the weekend too. So she has to sneak in and out to do that. There's another issue too, they can't really bring the milk back home with them for Isobel since the milk will go bad from the eight hour drive. Of course they can get a cooler but that's too much work. Ben's packing up for the both of them because Rey's too busy with Isobel.

"How about this dress?" he asked as he pulled out a turquoise one out.

Rey makes a face. "I don't like it."

"But it's your favorite though You wear it all the time."

"Yeah like a year ago. It's too kiddish now."

Ben bit his lip. He goes through their closet for a dress for her to wear for the party. He pulls out a burgundy summer dress from Target. "How about this?"

Rey shrugged.

He holds his temper. He pulls out a whole stack but none seems to please her. "Come on, Rey." She's being difficult again. Ben never forgets how old Rey is. She's fourteen, childish and bratty.

"I don't know what to tell you Ben," she said indifferently. She tilted her head down to focus on the baby. She's feeding Isobel right now and Ben can tell Rey's trying to feed Isobel as much as she can before they go on the road. Rey doesn't look happy and Ben isn't either. They're forced to leave their baby for the weekend because of Mom and Dad. It doesn't seem right. "None of the dresses in my closet seem right anymore. Everything's either too kiddish looking or maternity clothes. And I don't want either style."

"I get it," he decides to tell her. "You're a high schooler now and don't want to dress like you're still in middle school. We can go shop for a new dress for you once we're in the area." Ben sees a smile and so he goes up to kiss her. He kisses Isobel too but Rey first of course. Rey will always be his first priority, it's fucked up but Ben doesn't care. He cares for them both.

They say goodbye to Isobel and Three-pio before they head out. Rey doesn't cry but Ben can tell she wants to. Isobel has always been with Rey. They've never been apart. He puts his hand on her thigh during the drive to comfort her. It's going to be a long journey but it was okay, it's always been just them.

Since forever.


	14. Bath Time

When the party's over, they leave.

They were supposed to stay over a night with their parents but they decide not to. It was too late for Ben to drive the whole night and so they check in to a hotel.

It was such a pretty picture. Two kids all dressed up. Her in a red eyelet tea length dress with capped sleeves and her hair down in curls. And him in slacks and a button up and tie. They're sitting on the bed. She's playing with her dangling sparkly earrings. He picked those out for her. They kicked off their shoes the moment they entered the room. Her feet hurt from her new flats and so he's massaging them. Her shoes dug into her heels and they're all scraped up.

She moves her feet away. Maybe because he's being too rough or maybe it's because she's mad at him.

Ben can't really tell. She's been quiet the whole ride here. And still.

The party didn't end well but you probably already know that. Ben was unable to find time alone with Uncle Lando to ask and Ben got stuck socializing with Poe Dameron and company. Rey found out through her friends about something tonight. Ben knows because he saw her face fall at the party. He scoots closer to her. She doesn't move away but she doesn't seem happy about it either.

He touches her hair. He helped her curl the back of it because she could never reach. Rey tenses up and crosses her arms. It wasn't out of offense but defense. Ben frowned but he keeps touching her because he wants to. It's okay because she's not telling him to stop. "I love you," he tells her faintly.

Rey looked up at him to acknowledge she heard him.

But she doesn't say it back.

She really has a way with killing him. It feels like she stabbed him in the heart. Ben leans closer to her - to her face. She tenses up again to his advances. She's acting the same way after their first time and he hates it. She's not mad at him, she's hurt. Ben wishes she was mad at him instead. This was far worse. "I'm sorry you had to find out that way," he tells her.

Rey swallowed hard. "I already knew. For a while."

His heart skipped a beat.

"You used to go out and never told me where. I put two and two together." She puts her head down. Her hair follows and covers her face.

Ben squeezes her hand. "I was confused and scared about the situation." He touches her stomach. He freezes up as he remembers the baby isn't there but at home with Three-pio. "But I realized how much I'm in love with you - and I'm not - " he paused. He can't even say it to her face. "I won't ever."

"I know - you don't need to tell me. I don't know why I'm being so sensitive about hearing something that I already knew -

"Maybe because you didn't know that everyone knew." Not about her pregnancy. But about Kaydel.

Rey wiped her eyes. "Yeah," she sniffled.

It makes it worse because Rey now knows the details of him and Kaydel. From Kaydel keying his car to stuffing naked photos of herself in his locker.

"I'm not mad at you," she says. Ben couldn't help but to be startled. "You may be older but you're still young and it's natural to make mistakes. I understand." She starts crying then.

He pulls her to his arms and comforts her. She lets him. She lets him hold her and kiss her. Rey kisses him back. He keeps telling her he loves her and would never do it again. They're a bit frantic. It doesn't take them long to be clawing at each other's clothes.

"I love you too," she breathed. "Please - stop apologizing. Stop holding me and being so gentle. Please I want -" she hides her face into his bare chest.

Ben nods. He already knows what she wants. After all she was the one that initiated it. He's usually the one that does but not tonight. "Tell me." He nudges her softly. "Tell me what you want."

She shakes her head. She's being shy.

He pushes her then. Has her lay on her back on the bed. He's going to make her beg.

And by how calm she was, he can tell she doesn't mind.

* * *

She's so full of milk - she's leaking. Ben noticed it during the drive to the hotel. He didn't say anything because of the silence. They were in the comfort of the room. He can do whatever he wants. And he does. He's licking her nipples lightly as if he was eating a lollipop. His little sister is dripping with milk, a product of what created together - of what he did to her.

Ben stops to nuzzle her breasts. Milk sticks to her skin. It was alright. After sex he's going to give her a bath like he always does. For now he savors their alone time together. Her milk is sweet, a taste he wants to always have on hand.

* * *

It hurts a little - having sex again. They haven't had sex in months because Rey was healing. She's really tight and he can tell she was in slight pain by how tense her body was. "It's fine. It takes your muscles a few minutes to remember," he assures her. He kisses her forehead as his cock sank in deeper.

* * *

Ben didn't think to get a condom since they weren't planning to stay a night at the hotel. So he ends up coming on her stomach. He ends up feeling sour about it. "We have to get you on birth control," he grumbled.

She smiles at him as she cleaned herself off with a complimentary hand towel. "I think so too."

He kisses her cheek. "Feeling better?"

Rey smiled and kissed him back fondly. "Yeah."

They end up kissing again. She's giggling and it puts him in the mood to do it again.

So they do.

* * *

He makes a warm bath for her. Puts bubbles in it too. Sometimes, Ben babies her. Even when he's not in trouble. She's still his little sister and he can't really explain it. Ben can't really explain their dynamic. Brothers and sisters can't be doing certain things but they do.

"Join me," she insists.

Ben shakes his head. She's in the tub, holding his hand like she's a kid again. "The tub isn't big enough for you and me."

"I think it is," Rey says with confidence.

"The water will spill on to the floor."

"It's not our place though," Rey smiles at him.

Ben smirked and joins her. He wraps his arm around her neck and pulls her close to him. "I love you."

"I know!" she laughs. He's nuzzling her, leaving more marks than ever. "You keep saying that - stop. I'm fine. We're fine."

"I don't care. I just want to say it to you because I do."

"You're annoying me," she said playfully. She tries to move to the other end of the tub. Ben doesn't let her. He yanks her back to him.

"Well it's because you always annoy me so it's only fair." He uses one of the complimentary cups to wash her long hair.

Rey lets him wash and shampoo her hair. It feels nice when he digs into her scalp. She wishes the hotel's shampoo smelled better though. It's not as flowery and fruity like the one they have at home. She happily sighed and lets him take care of her. "What were you and your friends talking about at the party?" she asked.

Ben stopped. "They're not my friends." Poe Dameron wasn't his friend. Ben would have clung on to Rey at the party but her friends took her away from him. To their defense, her friends haven't seen her in months and wanted to catch up but still. He ended up being forced to socialize with boys that all should be named Chad.

She shrugged. "You guys grew up together so same thing, right?"

"No." Friends by association were completely different. But that's how Rey and him were, they were completely different. She had real friends and he didn't. People loved her while no one did with him. Except for her.

"What did you guys talk about?" Rey presses on again. "You seemed really upset."

"Nothing they were being shitheads." He's scrubbing her body with soap now, lifting her arms on by one.

"You looked super grumpy at the party. I know it must have made you mad."

"It's fucking nothing. They were just being assholes."

"I know they were but I want to the details."

"It's none of your fucking business."

"It is my business," Rey said with furrowed eyebrows. "You're my boyfriend so it is."

Ben sighed. He hates when she uses that card. It makes it worse because now he knows that she knows he's a shitty boyfriend to her too. That's how she was, bratty. Ever since they were little. "They were just being fucking perverts and trying to get me worked up. They kept talking about how big your breasts gotten and pretty you got. They said I had to be careful because a lot of guys are going to try to fuck you now."

She ends up giggling.

He feels his face grow hot. "What?" he snapped at her. "Why are laughing?"

"You got jealous by the idea."

"I did not. I just got annoyed because they were trying to start some shit."

Rey rolled her eyes and kissed him. "Okay."

* * *

Morning comes and they check out of the hotel. He takes them to get breakfast at some instagramable place she's been wanting to try. Some vegan ass place again. Ben doesn't have a deal against vegans or anything but the drive to a vegan place was always far. This place was a two hour drive. At least it was in the direction of home. He doesn't mind because they get acai bowls. She orders for them. She gets them a layer of acai and a layer of pitaya, blue chia pudding, coconut cream, pumpkin granola, sliced up bananas and strawberries, blueberries, coconut flakes, cacoa nibs, peanut butter, and a drizzle of honey. They were good of course.

Hers was a smaller version and she got hers in half of a coconut. The place also added some edible flowers on top too and Rey takes a bunch of pictures of it before eating. He ends up taking pictures of her because of course the damn restaurant had a flower wall with lights and Rey insists they have to.

"Do you want to go anywhere?" he asked as he took a bite of his food. "We can go anywhere you want." Ben asks this because he wants to be a better boyfriend for her. To let her know that he's trying. It's not because of the whole Rey knowing about Kaydel. It was more than that. Ben ruined Rey's life. Rey was suppose to have a great high school experience - get straight A's, be in clubs, go to parties and dances, and get a boyfriend and get accepted to a good college. Rey can't have that - she can have the important parts but not the fun parts. She's never going to experience the thrill of liking someone. Or the thrill of the chase or experience first dates and first kisses or first loves because Ben took that from her. He never really dated her either, he just knocked her up.

He doesn't feel bad of what he's done. He doesn't at all but it was sad that Rey doesn't seem to be aware of what she's given up to be with him. Of all the things she's lost. She's never going to get asked out to dances, or have flowers sent to her in her homeroom, or be a couple at school and holding hands. None of it.

The least Ben could do was be a decent boyfriend for her. Take her out on nice dates.

"No I'm fine. I just want us to get home. I miss Isobel."

Oh. That. Ben couldn't help but to feel bad he forgot about their baby for a second. It's still a process for him - having a new person in his life.

He just nods.

* * *

Ben's reminded that Rey loves Isobel more. When they get home, she runs in and holds Isobel with all her life. Rey loves Isobel more, maybe even more than Rey loves him. Ben doesn't mind that, he just wishes he could love as much as Rey can. He is warming up to Isobel though, it just takes time since Isobel is only a baby and she doesn't have much of a personality.

She will get one though.

Three-pio has dinner already waiting for them. Rey feeds Isobel first and they end up eating together. Three-pio rambles on but they let him. After a shitty time with Mom and Dad, they were relieved to be around someone that cares. Three-pio goes on about Isobel and it makes Rey happy being filled up on what she's missed. Rey really loves their daughter.

Ben's planning to meet up with Lando in private to talk about work soon. They need the money. Ben and Rey were doing fine saving up with his current job but it doesn't hurt to be working at a place that has higher pay.

At night, they watch a movie together on Netflix. Rey has Isobel in bed with them. She knows to put Isobel in the crib once the movie is over. Rey picked the movie this time, she picked some cheesy ass teen rom com movie. Ben's not surprised. She always does. He's just surprised by how many rom coms Netflix produces. Netflix is like a factory, spitting out one every second.

The movie is okay. Rey's invested as always. It makes him remember how when she was pregnant she used to call him up and cry about every romantic movie she's watched. She'll cry if she liked the movie and she'll cry if she doesn't like the movie. Thank god Rey wasn't pregnant anymore. It was annoying. She would call him for hours on the phone talking about the recent movie.

He froze then.

And he thinks about it.

About Rey being pregnant watching teen movies and crying about them. Maybe she does know what she was missing out by being with him too.


	15. Playhouse

It bothers Ben how unbothered Rey was about the whole Kaydel thing. She treats him the same and doesn't ask for any further information besides that night. Rey had always known he was fooling around with other girls and yet she doesn't ask for any details. Rey knows Kaydel too which makes it worse. Ben doesn't try to start a conversation about it either. There was no use in starting a fire.

Rey seems fine. She still wears her ring and is still affectionate with him.

She's mainly focused on raising their daughter.

How she's acting reminds him of Mom whenever Dad cheats.

It makes him feel like shit seeing that come to full circle. It's different though. They're not married and it happened early on. It's not as bad since he did it before things got serious. Sometimes though, he wonders if that's the reason she had a cutting phase. Ben tries not to think that way. Mom and Dad are here visiting the baby and he can't be feeling sorry for himself.

Mom and Dad like Isobel. They coo over her the way Three-pio does. Rey's smiling because it makes her happy. Isobel is a calm baby, very low maintenance and very much like Rey. Three-pio keeps interjecting, gently but annoyingly repeating for Mom and Dad to be careful. Dad rolls his eyes because Three-pio forgets that Mom and Dad have experience with children.

"Dad can I have Uncle Lando's number?" Ben asks boldly. He asks in public, purposely putting his father on the spot. So he wouldn't say no. "I really want to ask him about working for his company since it's nearby here."

The expression on dad's face says it all. It becomes evident to Ben of the situation that their parents put them in. Ben understands then where he gets the need to sabotage things from.

* * *

When Mom and Dad leave, Rey tries to make things better. She's being touchy right now, cuddling him so close that she's practically scraping a layer of his skin. He's rather annoyed but he knows she's trying to help. Ben pretends that what she was doing was working. Rey believes it too. He kisses her on her forehead because she's still a kid.

"I'm alright," he tells her. She's touching his crotch right now and he's not in the mood.

Rey proceeds to grope him. "Are you sure?"

He grabs her hand and tucks it back in to her. "Yeah I'm fine with just cuddling." Ben kisses her forehead again.

* * *

Ben picks up another part time job to scrape up forty hours a week. It's not that bad but he hates ending a four hour shift to jump onto another four hour shift. It would be nice if he could get hired at a place offering full time but that was near impossible. Luckily the commute wasn't much. He works at a supermarket and movie theater so there's perks at least. Ben's thought things out finance wise. He's aiming to save most of his paycheck. The only extraneous spending is whenever he and Rey spend time in hotels.

He doesn't plan on stopping that since they do it once in a while whenever they need privacy. They still have sex at home but sometimes they don't want to worry about being quiet.

* * *

_Ben's taken girls' virginities before._

_He knows how to relax a girl and how to make them feel good._

_But this was entirely different. He's flexible with Rey, lets her have most of her clothes on because she's shy. And maybe because he doesn't want to see her naked either. She's wearing a dress and a bra and her underwear is on the floor. He has all of his clothes on too with his pants and underwear pushed down for access. He's inside of her. He's fucking his sister. His little sister._

_She's whimpering._

_He wants to tell her to shut up. He knows it hurts. She just likes making him feel bad. The tears prickling out her eyes are for show, she just wants attention. She always cries at everything. Her nails are dug into his skin. She's begging for comfort. She's so dramatic. Ben dips his head even so he can reach her mouth. Rey kisses him harder. Her touch feels so desperate to him, always begging for gentleness from him. It's not that he doesn't want to. He doesn't know how to be loving._

_Stop crying._

_Stop crying._

_Stop._

* * *

_His sister is small. His hands cover so much of her. He cuddles with her after sex. Because she just had her first time and she clearly didn't like it. It's not that he's bad at sex it's because the first time hurts. And he's not attracted to her to be into it. Ben wasn't able to be as sweet to her like she wanted during her experience. She doesn't say much. In fact she's not even speaking at all. She doesn't even want to look at him._

_Ben came but it doesn't mean it was pleasurable for him. He usually enjoys sex but not this time. Rey always finds a way to ruin everything._

_He's never seen her act like this before. She's numb and quiet. Rey's not her usual bubbly self who's always happy to be around him. She looks traumatized instead._

_And maybe she was. He covers them up with the blanket and kisses her so she's not scared anymore._

* * *

_It's not all of his fault._

_Rey wanted it too. She's not completely innocent and he's the only one that can see that. But he knows people will see him as a monster who raped his little sister. She was the one who laid in bed and she certainly didn't refuse. She walks back to her room after sex, stumbling in the hallway._

_She's sniffling._

_Rey's so dramatic sometimes._

_Yeah, first times hurt but still. Yeah he should probably go to her but he has a feeling she wants some time alone._

* * *

Isobel smells nice. She naturally smells like baby powder even when she doesn't have it on her. Dad says it's the new baby smell. Her cheeks are chubby like Rey's but she sure frowns a lot. Mom says it's because Isobel's young and hasn't experienced all the emotions yet. Isobel sure recognizes Rey well.

She throws herself in the direction of Rey. Whines just like Rey too.

It's programmed in infants the way it's programmed for mothers to be nurturing. Ben holds on to Isobel tight as Rey showers. Isobel is fine in his arms. He's probably a complete stranger to her. It's fair since he's not the one that carried her for nine months. Three-pio is in the living room as well, lingering just to look at the baby. Ben knows Three-pio is aching to hold the baby but Ben won't let him.

Ben barely gets to with work and the way Three-pio and Rey smother Isobel. He's sure they don't trust him with taking care of a kid. Even if that's his kid too. Ben can't really blame them. He's not as nurturing as them. Ben shifts slightly as Isobel adjusted herself in his arms. She's yawning, face scrunched up and all. She has his curls and it's soft.

She moves around again and he holds her tighter. She settles then. Isobel likes tight spaces Ben thinks. Because it probably reminds Isobel of being in Rey's belly. Isobel must miss it the way Ben does too. Isobel was much safer in Rey's stomach. He thinks that's one of the reasons he had trouble registering that Isobel was here - out in the world.

"Three-pio," Ben says.

"Yes?"

Ben stops to readjust himself with Isobel first. She's really fussy. That or he's not good with babies. "Are you free next Saturday?" Ben waits for Three-pio to respond but instead the old man just stares at him blankly like a dead fish. "I was...wondering if you could watch Isobel that day," Ben says slowly. "I want to take Rey out on a date."

Three-pio smiles like an idiot then. Ben's not surprised. "I wouldn't mind at all."

Ben glares at the old man but it doesn't do anything. "Keep your mouth shut," Ben threatens.

* * *

He goes out on a run once Rey was done showering. He runs twice a week and works out three times a day. Three-pio has a workout room and so Ben uses that. It helps him relax. Get all the stress and anger out. Ben runs around the neighborhood until he hits two miles and runs back. In total four miles.

When he gets home, Isobel is asleep in her crib and Rey's doing her homework on their bed. He waves at Rey before he heads to the shower.

"Can I have a kiss?" Rey asked then.

Ben goes to her and does so. He gives her a quick kiss but she makes it longer. She's clinging on to his hoodie, gently tugging him to go on top of her. And get into bed. He parts himself from her. "Just wait okay?" he said gently. It was more of an order than a request. Rey gets like this now and then. "I want to shower first."

"It's fine," she assures him.

"No. I'm sweaty."

"I don't mind," she smiles.

Ben glared at her the way you do to discipline a dog.

Rey sighs and latches on to him. "Please?" she's pouting. She's so spoiled.

"It'll be quick." Rey just showered too and he doesn't want to get her dirty. His hair is sticking to his forehead and she's playing with his drenched hairs as she shook her head stubbornly. "Be a good girl," he tells her in a firm tone.

"Fine."

* * *

Rey doesn't let him put on his clothes when he steps out of the shower. He's not bothered since they were going to have sex. He pulls her hair and squeezes her wrists tight whenever she gets too excited. To remind her who was in control. He treats her like a dog a lot but he takes good care of her.

The baby starts crying and Rey and Ben groan.

He peels himself off of Rey to let her to take care of Isobel. It was one of the downsides of sharing a room with their daughter. "Got to get you a muzzle," Ben grumbled at Rey. "So you can be quiet during sex."

Rey giggles at the thought. She doesn't say anything else and he can tell that she doesn't mind that option. He sits up on the bed and watches her go to the crib. She's stumbling, just like the way she did when he took her virginity. He can be really rough to her sometimes.

If only Mom and Dad were here to see this. It was a pretty picture after all. Brother and sister fucking and ending it abruptly to take care of the baby they made, not caring that they were naked. Ben waits for Isobel to be settled and so he covers himself with the blanket and proceeds to drink some cheep beer that he keeps a stash in their room.

Rey sits next to him with Isobel latching on to her breast. Ben sighs and opens his arm for them. Rey happily curls herself and Isobel into his arm. Rey was so clingy sometimes. He takes a sip of his beer before kissing Rey's hair. He observes them, particularly at the being he made. "She's so much like you," Ben comments. He thinks he'll fully warm up to his daughter when she's a toddler. Isobel was rather dull right now to be honest. All she does is eat and sleep. Ben knows it's normal but he can't wait until he's able to be a good dad.

Ben takes another drink. It makes him remember all the times he spent to make sure he got Rey pregnant. He fucked Rey whenever he could, even in her sleep just to make sure the job was done.

Rey giggles then.

"What?" he asked. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing," she said as she moved Isobel to her other breast. "It just she reminds me so much of you."

He raised his eyebrow. "Me?"

"Yeah." There's fondness in her tone.

"How so?" Isobel was nothing like him. Isobel was calm and quiet just like Rey. She looked exactly like Rey.

"She likes things a certain way. It has to be precise for her. She's very demanding."

Ben scoffed at her comment. " _I'm demanding_?"

Rey smiles. "Yeah."

"That's not demanding. That's being needy and she gets that from you."

She rolled her eyes, unable to hide her grin. "Okay, Ben." Rey strokes the tiny tufts of hair on Isobel's head. Ben's not jealous - he swears he's not. It's just going to take him some time to see Rey love someone new. He's still trying to process that he created a life and that baby is here and has been for months. Isobel's existence is so surreal to him.

* * *

_Rey was scared of him._

_Ben's sure of it. She's avoiding him since they...you know. Rey's stupid. You can't really avoid someone that lives with you. After dinner, he sees Rey make her way to her room. Ben follows like a shadow. She doesn't try to pick up her pace for she doesn't want to be too obvious. He knows she would run if she could. Rey gets to her room first before he could. She's locking the door but he pushes his way in._

_She lets him in._

_She tries to smile but he can see her anxiousness. She doesn't say anything. Ben can tell she doesn't ever want to have sex with him again. He opens his arms out for her to go to. Rey does in a heartbeat._

* * *

_"Sex - getting close to someone - love - it all hurts."_

_"Movies and books don't show that."_

_"Because the good parts weigh out the bad parts."_

* * *

Ben picks up an eight hour night shift at the theaters and returns home. It's two thirty in the morning and he has a shift tomorrow at store at nine in the morning. He's exhausted but he doesn't want to sleep because the sooner he sleeps, the sooner he'll wake up for work.

He just wants to prolong it. Rey told him not to pick up this shift but Ben couldn't refuse. He was offered a full shift and those were rare. He had to take it. He's so fucking sick of four hour shifts. Ben doesn't know what was worse - having back to back four hour shifts or two shifts spread out drastically in the day.

He just stands there in the room. It's dark. Rey was asleep in the bed and the baby was in the crib sleeping too. The baby will wake up soon for a feeding. It didn't really matter that he pick up a shift tonight because he wakes up each time the baby does. Ben's tired, he really is. He decides to feed the baby formula for this feeding session because he wants Rey to himself for an hour before going to bed.

It's been a while since he fucked Rey in her sleep and he wants to do that.

And so he feeds the baby and changes the baby. He records it down too since the doctors want them to. Ben rocks the baby in the rocking chair and waits for Isobel to go back to sleep. It doesn't take long. Isobel was an easy child. He kisses her on the head as he put her back in her crib.

It's hell. He wants to fully love Isobel and be a good dad but he's not ready yet. Doesn't know how. Ben hates the wait so much. It's hell. It's hell.

He discards most of his clothing and slips into bed. Lightly, he positions Rey. He takes his time doing this. He's not in a rush.

* * *

Now and then, Ben thinks about the times he's shared with Kaydel. His time with Kaydel was just for fun and it didn't mean anything. He doesn't know why he did it though. He's sure Rey wonders too. Ben gets Rey nice and wet first before fucking her.

He always does.

He's really happy that Rey is his baby's mother. There's no one that loves as much like Rey does. Maybe that's why he wanted to get Rey pregnant specifically. He could have knocked up any girl and his parents would have been mad too (not super mad but still) but - he can't really explain. He really doesn't know to be honest.

Rey wakes up near the end, when they're almost there. Ben doesn't stop and she doesn't want him to either. She holds him and digs her nails into his back. That's how Rey always is. She wants him close to her, to a point it hurts. She kisses him as he kept going. She looks so delicate right now. And happy too. She doesn't always wake up but when she does it was something special.

When Rey wakes up she's always pleasantly surprised. He can tell she misses this too.

* * *

"I missed this," she says as they're curled underneath a blanket. They always do after sex. It doesn't really feel like how things were before Isobel was born. Of course things were entirely different. They're not expecting parents anymore. They were parents. "You haven't done that in forever, why?"

Ben wants to call her stupid but he doesn't. He's trying to be better. "You're up every night with the baby I don't want to bother you." They do have sex regularly except he hasn't done it while she's asleep in a while. Ben wants her to get every second of rest she can.

"Once in a while is fine," she says in a timid voice.

It doesn't take him long to prolong the conversation. "Tell me what you miss exactly?" They haven't really talked about it - about this. He plays with her promise ring on her finger. She lets him because she's his. Or maybe she's letting him because that's how he sees him as someone who plays around with everything.

"I miss waking up feeling sore. I miss waking up to smelling like you. I miss waking up and finding you in my bed with me."

"Do you miss having separate rooms?"

"No - well sometimes. I miss you sneaking in my room when Dad tells you no."

They end up laughing at the memories.

* * *

Ben barely sleeps and so he packs up on coffee for his shift. After work at both places he picks up some flowers for Rey. He wants to try, you know? Because the guilt eats him up on the inside that Rey knows about him fooling around while she was pregnant and she's completely fine about it. She's stunned when he gives her flowers and she has the audacity to ask him why.

He hates Rey, he really does.

"Can't I just get you some just because?" he snapped at her. She's such an ungrateful brat. "I don't need some freaking reason or holiday. Can't I be like you and get you things just because? "

"I didn't say anything," Rey said quietly. "Thank you though."

Ben exhaled. "I'm sorry - I'm just tired."

"It's okay. You worked late last night and then had two shifts following. I didn't really help either." They stayed up a bit last night just talking.

He shakes his head. "No it's not your fault." He hates how understanding she is. Can't she be mad at him like any normal person? Can't she hate him as much as he hates her? "I just want to be a better boyfriend to you that's all."

"Be-

"I know I haven't been the best boyfriend - I've never been good at this. I had a few relationships but they never last long."

"You're fine Ben."

He knows Rey's trying to reassure him but it doesn't help at all. Rey doesn't know how relationships are suppose to be. She's never been with anyone but him. She has nothing to compare it to. She's on her tips toes now, touching his face. "I really am trying," he means every word.

"Just go get some rest. I'll take care of the baby," she tells him.

He flinched. She ignored his statement. "I picked somewhere nice this Saturday too for our date," he continues.

"Date?"

Shit. He knew he forgot something. He can never get anything right. "Yeah - I meant to tell you sooner - I guess I forgot. It's going to be something nice though. And Three-pio said yes on watching Isobel so it'll be just us. Doesn't that sound nice?"

"Yeah," she said with lit up eyes. "I can't wait for our first date."

Ben raised his eyebrow at her. "We've been on dates before."

"Yeah..." Rey paused. "But this is different," she explained. "This is the first time you used the word 'date' so it's different."

"Are you excited?"

Rey grins. "Very."


	16. Fizzy Apple Drinks

Rey's taking too long to get ready.

Ben doesn't know why she is since there's no special occasion. They were just going out. No one's dying or getting married. Yeah he gets that she's a teenager and shit but so is he. It's all silly to him how much effort she puts for him. He knows damn well if he says something Rey might cry. Ben sighed as he took care of the baby. Isobel latches on to his arm like a day old puppy.

He smiles at the thing he made.

Made from booze and under layers of blankets.

Ben kisses Isobel on her forehead. She yawned then and curled herself even closer. He wonders if she recognizes him the way she does with Rey. Most likely. Since Ben was always around Rey.

Rey comes downstairs wearing a rose pink silky tank top and high waisted corduroy skirt. Her outfit looks way too old on her especially with the makeup she chose to put on for herself. Heavy mascara. Matte mauve lipstick. Ben doesn't say anything because he knows Rey's at that age now where she wants to look older. Ben hands Isobel to Three-pio and snags his denim jacket on the way.

He knows Rey will get cold and he knows his denim jacket is her favorite to wear.

Ben wipes the excess blush on her face. Rey makes a face but he keeps ignoring her. "I want to help you that's all," he tells her.

"You don't think I look pretty," she sniffled. Sometimes she's a bigger baby than their daughter who's only a few months old.

"Exactly. With all this makeup you look like a clown." Rey's still young. She hasn't mastered makeup yet. It was normal for girls her age to go heavy on everything. Makeup. Perfume. Jewelry. Affection. Ben rubs his nose against her throat. "I'm just being helpful, no need to be worked up about it."

Rey sniffles again. "I was trying to look nice for you!"

Ben laughs. She's so upset about something so pointless. "I know and I appreciate it. Come on let's go."

* * *

It was a long drive, the place Ben picked out for them to go. A two hour drive. Rey gets fussy and so he has to hold her hand as he drove. They stopped by a fancy mall as a pitstop so Rey could pump milk in the family restroom. They came prepared, she brought a cooler to the store the milk. Ben tries to 'help' her get the milk out but she rejects those advances.

"I don't want to be doing it here," she says in a fierce whisper.

Ben sighed and nod. "Fine." It's her day and he guesses that she doesn't want to have sex on their 'first date'. Whatever that means. He takes her out all the time. Rey smiles and kisses him on the cheek. He packed extra clothes in the trunk just in case they decide to check in at a hotel tonight. Ben gave Three-pio a heads up about it too and Three-pio is fine with it.

He decides to get her a snack before they get back into the car. He gets her some frozen yogurt with captain crunch and rainbow mochi bites. He also gets them some sandwiches and pastries and fizzy apple drinks for later at a bakery in the fancy mall. Rey gets hungry whenever she loses milk so he has to take care of that. Within another two hours, they're at the sunflower fields. Rey likes flowers so he figures to take her to a field. He's gotten the idea a while ago when he couldn't sleep and kept staring at the embroidery hoop Rey made for Isobel. She's bouncing up and down when she sees a glimpse of the gold fields but then she slumps in her seat.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing - I just wished I brought my polaroid camera if I had known," she sighed.

Shit. Ben forgot about that. "We have our cellphones and I can take you back next time if you want."

"Promise?"

He guesses. "Yeah." Rey's so spoiled but he rather have her happy.

* * *

She makes them take a bunch of pictures in the sunflower field. It was expected after all. Girls like taking pictures. Once she was all done, he sets up a little picnic for them with the food he got earlier. Rey makes another comment wishing that if she had known she would have brought her picnic basket for them to use. "Sorry," he tells her. She's such a brat. He's trying and she keeps putting him down.

"It's not a big deal - I'm just saying that's all," Rey says quickly.

"I really tried to plan the date out nice," he tells her. He means it too. He took some time to plan it - to make sure it was something that Rey enjoyed. But all she was doing was nitpicking. He really wanted to make it perfect.

Rey touches his head. "I know I'm not complaining - just saying but I'm really happy how the date is going."

"You mean it?"

Rey smiles. "Yeah." She gives him another kiss on his cheek before cuddling him. He picked out a spot with shade. They could just relax here and watch the sunset. He's sure Rey would like to take pictures during that time too.

* * *

A walk in the old city markets and dinner with the view of the pier ends the day. Ben checks them in to a hotel that was in the area so he can drive home in the morning all refreshed. Rey is pumping her milk out again but he decides to stop her and do it himself. They were in a room and he wants to play with her. Rey doesn't refuse, she's compliant as he grabbed the pump from her. He kisses her mouth as he massaged her breast.

He presses her down gently and pulls the blanket over them. Just like before. She's happy and when she's happy she's beyond eager to lay in bed with him. "Did you have a nice day?" he asked a playful manner.

"Mmhmm," she says as she's kissing him intensely. "I liked our first date, it was perfect."

Ben laughs at her comment. "I've taken you out before."

"Yeah but it's different."

"Okay Rey." It was best not to argue and ruin the moment. Ben lowers his head to suck on her nipple. Her nipples are swollen since she started breastfeeding. They're not as pretty but still he likes touching them. He always wants to make sure she feels comfortable with her body. Ben's done a lot to it and he knows how to take care of things that are his. Her fingers latch on to his hair and she gives him a smile just for him.

She nudges him to kiss her then. He listens and does so. They're giggling now as they're rolling in the bed. Ben peppers kisses on her temples.

At least he can be somewhat of a good boyfriend for her.

* * *

When they get home, Rey makes a beeline to Isobel. She starts breastfeeding right away. Rey likes feeding Isobel because it's a form of bonding. Ben unpacks the car while she does this. Rey's all snuggled in bed with Isobel. They look really cozy together. Luring Rey to bed led to something great. He doesn't think any other person he could have knocked up would be this happy as her.

Rey's always been happy and sometimes he thinks he chose her not to break her down but to share some of her happiness. He's reminded this as he comes into her room and she greets him from the bed with Isobel still attached to her. Rey makes some space for him on the bed and he accepts the spot. She snuggles up against him and Ben smiles at her like you do with a kid.

He's really happy he picked her.

And for once he thinks he's happy that they have a girl. Rey's not a little girl anymore, she's growing up and it's nice having another version of her around. Especially when he made her grow up fast. It's not like he stole her childhood, he simply gave her a head start to adulthood. She'll be eighteen before you know it. For now, she's still a kid.

Rey likes attention and cuddles.

Ben hopes she doesn't ever outgrow that, even when he's annoyed of her clinginess. Rey's kissing their daughter after burping her, a little too much. Isobel doesn't seem to mind. He misses having Isobel being inside Rey's belly because Isobel was safer that way. But he could tell Rey liked this arrangement better. Rey likes being able to hold and kiss and see Isobel.

He guess he does too. He didn't like Rey being pregnant. Rey was too fragile that's why. He likes being able to be rough with her without worrying about the baby. His mind has been in so much headspace lately.

She sets Isobel down and lays beside her. Rey grabs Ben's hand and insists he joins in too. So Ben does. The baby is nestled in between them and they're holding hands over Isobel. He assumes it must have been a pretty picture. He feels calm for once and decides to rest with them.

* * *

Ben's feeling like being nice. So he offers to pick up dinner tonight for the house. He gets pho and rice dishes. As he waits for the large order, he decides to get some flowers for Rey. He buys a large bouquet of sunflowers for her because she wanted to bring some home but couldn't. Sunflowers aren't even that expensive. He wonders why he doesn't get her flowers often.

Rey thanks him for the flowers. She knows how to be grateful and show it too. She asks for him to take a picture of her with the flowers behind Isobel's embroidery hoop. Ben does because it's something she wants. It's the least he could do since she's not allowed to share photos like these on her social media. No one is suppose to know about their daughter.

He knows that makes her sad because she's honored and proud being Isobel's mother.

She makes a flower crown out of three flowers and holds the rest of the bouquet for the photo. She's so extra sometimes, she put on some red lipstick too. After snapping a couple of photos he takes Rey by the hand and leads her downstairs for dinner. Rey can get carried away and it's best to lead. They leave Isobel for she's asleep in the crib.

They heat up their food and eat in the backyard because they want to have dinner just the two of them. The lights are on automatically and it creates a nice scenery. She's taking pictures of her veggie tofu pho as he drinking some beer with his chicken rice dish. "Look at my new wallpaper," she shows her phone to him then. It's a photo of Isobel in a pink elephant onesie. Rey made that onesie too.

"She looks cute."

"I really wish I could just share photos of her."

"I know you do - I think your food is cooled down already," he changes the subject before Rey gets sad.

Rey picks up her chopsticks and takes a bite. She stops then.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing - it's just I don't like the idea of going along with mom and dad's plan."

"You know how they are," Ben reminds her. "They want to save face." He's rather indifferent to the whole arrangement. He really doesn't care as long as he's not separated from Rey and Isobel.

"I don't care. I rather be Isobel's mom than to let Isobel grow up thinking she's adopted."

"Isobel's not going to think that. That's just a story for mom and dad's friends."

"Still I don't like hiding around. I'm not ashamed that we're parents."

"But you know mom and dad are. And they're also trying to protect you from people thinking of you and me in a certain way."

Rey sighed. "I know but all the stuff they're doing is not for us but for them."

Ben took another sip of his beer. "I know."

* * *

Once they finished eating, they go back to the room. Ben helps her undress to feed Isobel again. Rey scoots over and makes some space for him. Ben takes up on her offer and comforts her as she fed their daughter. He knows that there was some things that makes Rey unhappy but those things he can't change. The only thing he could do was try to be a good boyfriend.

"Next weekend I think I'm free," he tells her.

Rey looks up at him. "Yeah?"

Ben nods. He's not but he'll move some things around to cheer her up. "Do you want to go on another date? We can plan this one together if you want."

She beams at him. "Yeah I would like that."


	17. Pretty Machines

Sometimes Rey gets sad when Ben goes to work. She would never say it but he knows. She's been locked up in the house ever since he got her pregnant. She's still being homeschooled because the baby needs to be fed every few hours. Rey doesn't get to be with her friends back at home the way she used to. And Mom and Dad are Mom and Dad.

It must be very lonely. The only people she has besides him are the baby, Three-pio, and the servants. Ben's very lucky with being able to go to work and be around people his age. He's not really close to any of his coworkers but they were still people outside the house and family. He gets a moment to himself at work while Rey is kept in the house.

Everything will be okay once the year ends and Rey and Ben will live back at their parents. Rey will get to go to school and be able to see her friends again. But she's still a mom and she's not really comfortable with the idea of living in Mom and Dad's lie. Ben's indifferent to the situation because it doesn't affect him as much.

After his last shift, Ben decides to drop by a craft store and get Rey something.

There was no particular reason but just because.

He'll get her something to make her happy.

* * *

Ben gets home late. Like really, really late. He decides to give Rey what he got her tomorrow morning because of that reason. He doesn't want to wake her up. He's careful getting inside their room. The last thing he wants to do is wake Isobel but to his surprise, he finds Rey awake. She's laying in bed under the covers with wide eyes as if she had been waiting for him for a while.

"Where have you been?" she asked in a whisper.

He's about to take off his jacket when he stops himself. "I got you something. It's in the car. Do you want it now?"

"Why did you get me something?" she remains under the covers.

Ben goes to her because it's not the reaction he had expected. Ben spent all night driving for her. "Do I need a reason?" he snapped at her. Rey's tired and when she's tired, she's a brat. She's not being grateful at all.

"You usually give me things when you've done something bad."

"I've done nothing wrong - what do you think I've done?" Rey pulls the covers over her face. She doesn't say anything. Ben frowned and yanked the blanket from her. She clings onto the covers and whines. "Rey," he calls her name. He keeps his voice low to not wake the baby. "Rey."

She doesn't answer him.

It pisses him off. Rey knows how to push his buttons. Sometimes he just wants to hit her. "You're being ridiculous. Rey you know I wouldn't do shit like that anymore. I promised you and I haven't done that before that promise." He hears her sniffling. Ben yanks the covers away from her then. Rey cries easily and too much but you already know that.

Ben sighed and wiped her eyes. She tries to cover her face with her hands but he doesn't let her. She's acting like a sprawling cat that refuses to be held by its master. She's whining again like the brat she was. "How do I know?" she asked raising her voice. Ben shushes her. "I'm know there are pretty girls at your jobs."

He knew the Kaydel crap was going to bite him in the ass especially when Rey took it too well. "I don't give a damn about anyone else and you know that."

"I don't know!" she hisses. Isobel starts to make sounds but Rey doesn't notice. She's too busy kicking his shins like the stupid little sister she was. "You were able to go sleep around with some other girl while I was pregnant."

"It's in the past and I already said sorry. You can't put that against me -

"What you did is a big deal -

"You're such a brat," he ignores her statement. Rey stops resisting him from comforting her. That seemed to settle her down. He examines her and she looks like crap with how swollen her eyes were. "I love you Rey," he tells her as he pets her hair and kisses her forehead. "I'm not doing anything. I'm just trying to be a better boyfriend to you that's all."

The baby's crying now.

"I don't like it that you are," Rey says. She hears the baby but she refuses to leave the bed. Ben stays in bed with her because the baby can wait a few minutes. And because what she said caught him off guard. It's not something he's expected her to say. He would think that it would make anyone happy. "I don't like it when you're nice to me," she says quietly.

"Why?" he asked in bewilderment.

"I do but I also don't because I know you're only nice when you've done something bad. I like it better when you're mean to me because at least I know you're being yourself."

"No that's not true. Sometimes I'm nice to you just because I want to." Ben kisses her forehead again. Isobel is screaming her lungs out in the background. They're not perfect parents but they're not bad ones either. Rey's still a kid and he wants to prioritize her too.

Rey sniffles at his answer. It was evident that she was unsatisfied with it.

"I love you and I'm trying to be good for you," he hold her hand. He's playing with her promise ring, something he hasn't done in a while. She's too young for a promise ring. On average teenagers get those at sixteen not thirteen but it fits her as if it's supposed to be there. Ben lets go of her to take care of the baby. The baby's crying has become unbearable but Rey doesn't seem to hear. Or maybe care. He goes to the crib and scoops their daughter onto the changing table.

Isobel acts just like Rey - a brat. She's sprawling and kicking as she's screaming her lungs out. Her pudgy cheeks and tiny face makes it look cute at least. Isobel starts to relax as he changed her. She even whimpers the same like Rey. Ben puts Isobel's clothes back on and holds her in his arms. Isobel latches on and sucks on his shoulder. She's been changed and now she wants to be fed. She's needy like Rey too. Ben smiles at her though because she's also his too. He guesses he likes them whiny.

"I know deep down we wouldn't have been together if we didn't have her," Rey said quietly. She starts crying again, like she always does. Her eyes get redder and so does her cheeks.

Ben bit his lip. He goes back to the bed with the baby in his arms. "You know that's not true."

Rey shakes her head. "If I never gotten pregnant you would have become bored of me and end up with Kaydel or some other girl." She's heaving right now because she's so emotional. She takes Isobel and starts feeding her. Isobel smiles at Rey because she knows her mom. Isobel's cooing now. Rey sniffles again before smiling back at their daughter.

He leans in and rests his head on Rey's shoulder with his hand on her hip. "Don't think that way. Don't think of me like that or her as an accident." Because Isobel wasn't an accident at all. And neither was getting his little sister pregnant. Ben could have spite his parents with some girl from school but no he chose Rey instead. It hurts their parents more and he knows Rey will be happy with him and be with him forever. "There's no other person I want than you to be her mom the same way there's no one else I want you to be with than with me."

"And why is that?" she hiccupped.

He mutters underneath his breath. "Don't make me say it."

"Why?" she asked, wiping her eyes with her free hand. Isobel is perfectly content being latched to Rey's breast as they spoke.

"It's sounds fucking cheesy as fuck."

Rey laughs lightly. She knows how much he hates talking about shit. Saying 'I love you' is easy. Saying how you feel is murder. "Please tell me. Please?"

He tells her to fucking give up but she keeps whining. "Fine," he grunts. She presses her lips together, trying to hide that smug smile. He hates her sometimes he swears. Rey knows how to push his buttons. Ben nuzzles her neck and pulls her close to him. A small smile creeps on her face. She shakes her head at his words and so he kisses her mouth. She's just being stubborn that's all. He's telling her how he likes how much she loves everything down to the last drop. About how sweet and nurturing she was. About how her love for him is the only constant thing in his life. It doesn't take long for her to giggle again. She tastes salty because how much she was crying earlier.

She playfully pulls away. Ben grabs her by her chin and kisses her again.

"I love you," she says to him like the first time she told him that. With adoration and awe and sparkles in her eyes. He wipes the remaining tears away and just like that, everything is fine again. He hates her, he really does because she makes him work a lot with how difficult she is. Most girls leave him instead of trying to put up with him the way she does.

* * *

Once the baby went back to sleep, Ben takes her to his car to show her what he got for her. They left the baby in the crib. Isobel will be fine. Rey holds his hand. He lets her. "What did you get me?" she asked with enthusiasm this time.

"Check it out yourself," he says as he pops open the trunk.

He watches her dig through the plastic bags. The cashier double bagged it because it was a large item. "I can't believe you got me this - it's been selling out since it's an exclusive color." Ben got her the latest version of the Cricut because Rey's been talking about it to him. He figures to get her it to keep her hands busy. The craft store that he got it from made it part of a bundle too - few complementary items and supplies. He bought extra things to make sure Rey is occupied for a while. She's a really crafty person and goes through boxes of shit.

"Yeah I know. I had to drive to a few locations to see which store carried it. I managed to find a store that was willing to hold it for me." And that location was two hours away. But Ben's used to driving far for Rey.

"Thank you," she goes on her tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. Rey blushes then. "You didn't have to get this for me especially with all the trouble."

Ben shrugged to let her know it wasn't a big deal. He's so indifferent with everything. He doesn't care about the inconvenience of it all or the price. "I already told you. I just wanted to." It's fucked up for her to assume he's fooling around doing shit but she has every right to worry about that since it's public knowledge to her at this point. Ben's had her love since day one. He's never had to pursue it or try to earn her love and it must of been scary to her to see him try for the first time. He can't really blame her for thinking the worst of him. "I just wanted to let you know that I'm never going to take all the things you do for granted." Because Ben does most of the time and he knows it. And maybe Rey does too.

He reaches to get the bags to carry them into the house. He doesn't let Rey carry anything heavy really that's why. She holds his free hand as they walked back inside. She's content and back to her normal bubbly self.

He can be sweet to her sometimes.

When they get into the room, Rey wants to play with her new stationery crap. He shakes his head at her. "It's late," he reminds her. "You can use it tomorrow." And he wants some time with her.

She pouts but it's only for a moment. She sets aside her new things and hops into bed because she knows what he wants. Rey covers herself with the blanket again as he's finally able to undress. He gets under the covers with her and pulls her close. It doesn't take long for him to undress her. It never does. He looks at what he's done to her - at all the little effects.

Stretch marks on her thin body. Swollen bigger breasts. Nearly raw nipples from being sucked on periodically. Bruises and marks. And so much more. He's made her have a baby. Made her body go through so much pain at a young age. She hides her face into his chest. She doesn't want him to look at her closely for any longer. She's used up but she's his. She's so insecure and shy. He likes what he's done to her. Therapists always did like to tell him he has a tendency to destroy things to make himself feel better. Ben doesn't agree with that settlement. He just likes hurting things he likes.

Ben kisses her to soothe her. To let her know it doesn't matter. He calls her beautiful. Always does whenever she's self conscious of her body.

He's in the mood in being rough tonight and leaving another mark or so. Ben kisses her head as he reaches for a piece of cloth in the nightstand. She's compliant as he ties it around her mouth for she already knows. When he's rough she becomes quite a screamer and he certainly doesn't want to wake the baby up.

Ben presses a soft kiss on her nose before they begin.


	18. Tantrums

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> their relationship is yikes w/ cute moments

Kaydel slithers in again. He doesn't think she'll ever be gone from Rey's mind. Ben tries to make her feel better but Rey locks herself in the room. She doesn't even take the baby with her. Isobel is in his arms and not even baby manipulation could get her to open the door.

"Ben, give her some time to herself," Three-pio tells him gently.

He exchanges a glare at the old man. It's brief for Ben knows Three-pio is trying to help. Everyone who was anyone knows about Kaydel and him. It was a long time ago. You would think Rey would accept it. He's been faithful to Rey. Hasn't cheated on her at all. "Come on Rey," Ben proceeds. "Don't you want Isobel to keep you company?"

"Ben," Three-pio sighed warily.

"I know you're mad but don't be mad at Isobel. It's not her fault she's half of me." A part of him wants to pinch his daughter to make her cry to get Rey to budge. Ben doesn't though.

Three-pio frowned. "She just needs time to herself, Ben. Leave her alone."

Ben can see by the expression on Three-pio's face that he thinks it's scummy that Ben's using Isobel to get him in. Ben doesn't care. He just wants to make Rey feel better so she'll stop being sad. He wants Rey to love him again. A part of him accepts that even though he hates Rey he doesn't want her to hate him. He can't explain that logic.

After twenty minutes, Isobel gets fussy and he's forced to leave the spot. Someone has to be a good parent and it has to be him right now. Isobel smiles at him once she's tended to and satisfied. She's giving him a gummy smile. It doesn't make him feel better at all because she looks so much like Rey. Rey's crying her eyes out right now and she doesn't want him to take care of her.

* * *

He hopes by dinner time Rey would get out of the room. She doesn't. She has a servant bring food to her. She's really torn up by the past shit with Kaydel. Ben hates how she's so obsessed with it. Her breasts must be leaking by now. She hasn't fed the baby since she's locked herself in. He's feeding Isobel with a bottle but Isobel keeps rejecting it. She's looking all around the room for Rey.

Ben doesn't eat. He's too upset about Rey to do so. He doesn't know to do. Saying I love you doesn't work on her as much and neither was using the baby.

They're still going to be together. Rey knows that but right now she's too blind by her emotions to see that. When night time comes, Three-pio is trying to convince Ben to let him carry the baby. Ben doesn't though. He knows that Rey must have texted Three-pio to give her the baby so she doesn't have to see Ben. "If she wants the baby, it's part of a packaged deal." Because it was. Rey would have never had Isobel without him.

Three-pio bit his lip. "Ben," he said firmly.

"No." Isobel's also his kid and he has more of a say than Rey. He's the one that made Rey pregnant. He was the one that decided to bring Isobel into this world. Not Rey. If it was Rey's way, it would have been just protected sex.

Three-pio sighed and leaves them be.

* * *

Midnight approaches. Rey's forced to set aside her irrational feelings to have the baby. She doesn't look at him as he's giving Isobel to her. He lowers himself so she's forced to see him. She can't get away from him, she's his. He caresses her hair as Rey's bringing the baby to her arms. She frowns. "I don't want you to touch me."

Ben keeps touching her. She's just being a brat. You would think after a temper tantrum Rey would be calmed down by now. He closes the door behind them, to make it be known that he's not going to give her anymore space. This was his room too. He follows them to the bed and proceeds to kiss Rey.

She's shrugging him off.

"Why are you mad? I've done nothing wrong. You know you can't put the past against me."

Rey doesn't look at him. All her focus is on the baby.

He keeps touching Rey even as she's breastfeeding.

"Stop."

"No."

"I really hate you sometimes."

Ben winced. She's never said that before. To him or anyone. Rey doesn't hate anyone. "You don't mean that."

"You say it all the time to me though."

"Because I don't mean it."

The baby's cooing right now, delighted to be finally bonding with Rey. Her happiness was a stark contrast to Rey's animosity towards him.

"I love you so much Rey. You know it was a mistake and I've been better to you. You know I won't ever do that to you again." He held his breath as he watches her tear up. Ben wrapped his arm around her to squeeze her tight. She lets him hold her and the baby.

"You don't love me."

"I do love you."

"No you don't," she sniffling. She's clinging on to the baby so he can't show her fully how much he loves her. She knows he would fuck her if she wasn't holding the baby. She knows he would fuck her hard and put her to sleep.

"Rey."

"You wouldn't have been sleeping around with someone else if you did."

He holds her tighter. She's just being emotional. "It was a mistake, you know that."

"I just want to know why you did it to begin with."

"I don't know. It was stupid mistake."

She's not happy with his answer and neither was he. What was he suppose to say? Say that he wanted a last thrill before being with Rey? Say that at the time he wasn't feeling it with Rey? Say that he felt unsatisfied with their sex? Say that he was unattracted to her? It wasn't going to make anything better. "I always thought," she paused. Her lips were quivering. "I always thought if ever liked me back that I would be the one for you - that you wouldn't ever want anyone else."

Ben's skin tightened. He hates her sometimes. She knows how to make him feel like shit sometimes.

"I know it wasn't one night with Kaydel. My friends said you were fooling around with her for months."

"I stopped though." Because he started feeling guilty. He brushes against her arms, indicating for her to set the baby in the crib so he can love her one hundred percent. He just wants to take Rey to a hotel and spend time there like they used to. He just wants her to look him with her puppy eyes. Cling on to him like she always does.

"But before that you kept going to her. What about her made you keep going to her?"

"Stop Rey. Stop dwelling on it."

"I can't. You knocked me up."

He flinches again. He's not used to her talking so crude. She's only fourteen. She's not supposed to be talking like that.

"You knocked me up and you kept fucking Kaydel."

"Don't talk like that. It's not like you."

Rey shakes her head. She switches the baby to her other breast. It occurs to him that they were fighting but in low voices. The baby kept giggling and it really emphasized how serious they were - how unhappy she was with him. "I don't care. You got me pregnant on purpose and kept fucking her."

"You're being ridiculous," he said in a leveled tone. His skin is prickling, heart beating out of his chest. "You know the baby was an accident."

"Stop lying to me. I know you better than anyone else. I know you slept around with a lot of girls to know plenty enough how to have protected sex."

"Rey. Listen to yourself. You sound ridiculous. Why would I want to be a young dad? Why would I want to willingly have this responsibility of another person?" He touches the baby's stomach, trying to show Rey he's not some sociopath. He's not. "Rey if you think whatever you think is true, doesn't that mean that I love you so so much?" he counters.

She stopped in her place to think about it. This gives him some time to think, to turn the situation around.

"Rey. I was very confused and stupid. You know Mom and Dad were putting thoughts in my head to stop being with you. Did you ever stop to think that I was trying to listen to them and try to get over you? It clearly didn't work because I stopped."

He watches her expression soften and unravel. She's sniffling still. He presses a soft kiss on her temple. Rey doesn't refuse it. She starts whimpering and telling him she's sorry. He hushes her. "It's okay, it's okay," he says as he comforts her. "I know it doesn't make what I've done any better but at least you have some peace of mind, right?"

She nods and buries herself in his chest.

* * *

Sometimes, he's rough with her when they're having sex. Ben can't help it. She's his and he can do whatever he wants with her. It's always been like that. If she didn't want to be with him then she shouldn't have been so nice to begin with. Rey could have belonged to another family. A better one that wasn't fucked up.

He has her underneath him, mouth bound as he's positioning her like a dog. Ben grunts as he contorts himself to kiss her as he's taking her. Like the animals Dad says they are. "I love you," he tells her again. Ben really does love her in all honesty. "No more Kaydel talk, okay?"

She's nodding and he senses her relief. Rey always feels better when he's rough with her because she feels how much he means it. Ben doesn't prepare her for the place she doesn't like. He just shoves himself there and begins thrusting. Rey's whimpering through the cloth, her body trembling in discomfort. He hushes her, peppering more kisses. He hasn't done this spot in a while and he likes feeling how tight she is there.

Ben knows she likes when he's aggressive with her - when he's controlling her. He really does love her and she's reminded of this when she's gagged in the same room as their sleeping child. She's becoming putty in his hands. She's starting to feel pleasure in that place she doesn't like. None of the girls he's been with ever let him do it there but Rey lets him because she's his.

He pulls out slowly and places her on her back to look at her face. Sometimes she flinches and gets nervous when he does this. She's so used to having sex in the dark and under covers. Ben likes looking at her lately. He's been appreciating how she looks at him with those puppy eyes. How soft and bright she looks when she does. He loves her, he really does. He bends down to caress her face. He can be really sweet with her. She knows this too.

Ben takes off the cloth off her mouth and she lunges to kiss him. She's giggling as she's doing this. Ben laughs because she's kissing him so much like maniac. She's on top of him. He lets her be. She kisses him so frantically that he doesn't have the ability to reciprocate. She loves him again and all is well. He pets her head because he loves her.

"What would you do if I really did get you pregnant on purpose?" he asked her, running his fingers along the thin band of her promise ring. He arches up to leave a little visible mark on her neck.

She smiled at him. "I would still be with you."

He smiled back at her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> low key they're kinda bad parents but they're literally teenagers they'll learn.
> 
> we're almost done here <3


	19. Swimming Pools

Mom and Dad are putting ideas in Rey's head again.

About her having options.

It pisses him off even when they say the same thing to him. That he has options too. They're trying to split him and Rey apart and it's fucked up. They were trying to split his and her little family that they made. He knows he shouldn't be threatened since no one sane would want to be involved with anyone who has a child with their sibling. Even if it's their adoptive sibling. It's too complicated. Too messy. And Ben likes that fact. Rey was secured. No one was going to get in the way. Not even their parents.

He and Dad are at it whenever they stop by to check up on Rey and the baby. Ben doesn't want Rey and him to move back. Ben wants to stay here until he's able to save up for a place of their own. Dad wants them to come back and go along with the polished lie. Ben doesn't want Rey to go back to school at their hometown and keep the secret about their daughter and their relationship. He doesn't want boys around her. The boys will try to go after her since they won't know about their baby.

The heated discussion is insistent. It always manages to come up to conversation whenever Mom and Dad visit.

Mom tries to boil it down with telling him and Dad to ask what Rey wants.

They never do because Rey is young.

* * *

Being a parent isn't that hard.

Mom says he's being cocky and Dad says it's because he has an easy child. It's really fucking nice isn't it? That his parents don't praise him the way they do with Rey. It's not a big deal - he's used to it anyways. He's laying in the bed with Isobel while Rey was showering. Isobel's asleep, curled in his arm. She's cute, looks like a mini Rey.

Pudgy cheeks and long lashes, all bundled up in a frilly onesie. She moves around a lot like her mom too. A fussy thing. She twists about in her sleep - she's been doing that in the womb too. Suddenly she's resting on his throat. Ben gently shifts her back to his chest. Just like Rey. Isobel sneezes in her sleep like her too. He finds himself liking Isobel more whenever she acts like Rey.

Rey comes out of the shower in fresh new clothes and her wet hair all brushed.

He lifts up the baby for her to see. "Look at mini Rey. She sleeps through everything like you." He gives Rey a smirk, reminding her how Rey did not wake up once last night despite him coming in her twice in her sleep.

She frowns at him, clearly not taking the jab well.

Such a crybaby. "What?" he asked when he notices the frown not going away. He puts the baby back on his chest and Isobel snoozes away.

"We agreed that Isobel won't have any nicknames, remember? That she's just Isobel."

Ben rolled his eyes. She can be so ridiculous sometimes for the love of God. "What are you jealous or something?"

Her cheeks went hot. She crossed her arms as her eyebrows furrowed. "No!"

Ben grins wickedly at her because he knows her so well. She's jealous of their daughter receiving attention from him. The attention she sought after for years but he refused to give to her until he decided to knock her up. Rey never got that type of attention, pure fondness. "Yes you are."

"No I'm not! She's just Isobel. No nicknames. Isobel is pretty name, too pretty for variations. We agreed on that Ben." She's so OCD about that shit.

He laughs in a certain way that makes her beet red. Rey's always been afraid of being replaced. She always tried to fish an answer if he was seeing someone when he was in boarding school. He smiles smugly as he pressed a soft kiss on their daughter's cheek. Isobel coos and he holds her tighter. His Mini Rey. "Don't worry, you're still my favorite," he reassures Rey.

Rey does her best not to make a reaction. She's still a fucking brat and immature.

"But Mini Rey is cuter."

* * *

Back when he was in boarding school, whenever he visited home he would always come with a hickey on his neck. Or a few. Mom and Dad would always make a snide comment about it and Rey would be all crushed up inside. He liked seeing her like that to be honest. She's always chasing after him, stupidly hopeful he'll someday like her. He loves it, all the power he had with her. All that unconditional and relentless love.

He misses those times.

A part of him wished he waited a bit before getting her pregnant. He should have gotten her pregnant his freshman or sophomore year in college. So she would go crazy worrying about all the college girls he'll be meeting at parties. There were more girls at college than high school and Rey knows that. Girls like him and she knows that. Girls are easy around him and she knows that.

Should have waited a year or two and have Rey worry and cry about it. He could had a longer time of fucking around and having fun. And she would have been more developed mentally and physically and be the one begging to be fucked. He would take it slow and let her suck his cock first.

Rey's so fucking messed up for liking him. She's so fucking sick. He's her brother but she doesn't care. She's so fucked in the head.

* * *

He's fucking Rey rough tonight. He always does whenever Mom and Dad leave. They always piss him off and he needs to let out some tension. Ben doesn't want to move back with them. He wants him and Rey to stay here and be a couple. Rey can go to school here and he can go to college here. He doesn't want them to go back home.

Ben doesn't want to keep anything a secret.

He knows if they go back home Mom and Dad will try to separate them. Make them pretend they were normal. They're not. He's fucking his little sister and he's made a baby with her. Rey's squirming and crying again. She's trying to resist being marked by him. But he has a strong hold on her because he's her older brother. Ben's biting her again, purposely leaving bruises all over her throat and chest.

Even her shoulders too.

For Mom and Dad too see.

Rey likes this but she's just embarrassed for their parents to see. Ben doesn't fucking care. He wants them to see. They're coming back tomorrow and he wants them to fucking see.

"If you want to bite me please do it on my breasts," Rey said weakly. She's whimpering. Sounds of distress shortly turn into stifled moans. Ben pets her head to praise her for being good. For being complacent.

He's not going to bruise her breasts. He wants her bruises to be visible. He keeps biting and kissing her to a point there's no spot that wasn't marked. So he begins to layer his bite marks. Rey keeps whining pretending that she's not enjoying it. That she doesn't want it or something. He breaks every now and then to comfort her with soft kisses.

Her nerves settle and then she starts kissing him too.

* * *

Rey knows what it meant to be with him. She knew this even before he took her virginity. If she didn't want it then she shouldn't have let him go into her room. Rey's not completely innocent. She knows if she doesn't want her brother to be getting hickeys from other girls that she has to let him do whatever he wants to her. Ben wished everyone could see the truth. He tucks her in after he was done fucking her.

She's asleep. Body completely covered in violet and gray. Her pussy is all swollen and dripping out his come. Don't worry she's on birth control. He's good to her. He lets her sleep the entire night while he takes care of their baby.

Mom and Dad aren't going to split him apart from her. No. Not when they have a baby.

Rey's not completely innocent.

If she didn't want this then she shouldn't have let him hold her in that position to make sure he got her pregnant. He's done this so many countless times.

* * *

Ben could have gotten someone else pregnant. Could have. He had so many options. And yet he picked her. Rey's always had a crush on him. She's never liked anyone else but him and he wanted to keep it that way. He never wants her to grow out of it. If he did got someone else pregnant it would have been a nail on the coffin to Rey for her to move on.

He's a good brother. He doesn't want his sister to be touched by any boy.

* * *

Every summer before the baby came along, they would go to the Country Club with their parents. She would distract Mom and Dad for him while he slipped out to race cars and go hang out with girls. Ben's been driving cars way before he got his permit and chasing girls for as long as he could remember. Rey would spend her time reading books while Dad played golf and she would swim in the swimming pool while Mom sunbathed.

She's loyal and would even take a bullet for him as long as he swam with her when he got back. He does because that's part of their deal. Has been since forever. Before him wanting to drive and fuck, Rey would cover for him while he snuck out to hang out with his friends or go to a party.

Such a simple time.

He always thought it would always be that way.

Until the last summer, before the baby came along. He came back after fooling around with a seasonal female worker to find her not there at the swimming pool. Mom was there of course, sunbathing while reading a Danielle Steel novel. But Rey wasn't there. She's always there at this time. She should be sitting next to Mom all bundled up with a towel with her book. "Where's Rey?" he asked.

"She's out with her friends."

Ben knows which ones, the ones whose parents are also members at the Country Club. Rich people know each other. "She usually never hangs out with them at this time." This was their time. Part of their agreement.

Mom just laughs. "Well they're older and have different interests. They're safe. They're at the teen center for some event that's happening right now."

The teen center fucking sucks ass but to Rey and her friends who are twelve, they can't see that. Her friends and her are finally old enough for the teen center. No more children's center for them. He can't help but to be fucking mad because if he had known Rey would have forgotten, he would have been out longer. He would have gone out with his friends to see a movie.

Mom starts to pack up. "She's safe Ben. The event's supervised and we know everyone here. You can spend time with me and your Dad. If not you're welcome to spend time with your friends."

He guess he will then. The second option. When Rey comes back, he gives her shit for being a bad sister. She cries of course. She always cries at everything. Mom glares at him to stop being mean. Ben doesn't.

"I'm sorry," Rey sniffled.

"Not good enough."

"Ben," Mom warns.

He never listens.

Ben remembers what happened the very next day. Rey remembered to wait for him at their spot. Except almost. Instead of the chair she's sitting on the edge of the pool with her feet in the water. There's a boy next to her. Long story short he ended up pushing the boy in the water. You're probably wondering if Ben got in trouble. Nope.

The funny thing is that no one give a shit because that's what brothers do. If a brother sees a boy trying to be friendly, the brother's going to do something. The boy whose name is Andrew, apologizes too. Andrew hurries off and Rey's looking at Ben in bewilderment. She's so fucking dumb. "That wasn't nice," Rey said.

Ben sits next to her and dips his feet in the water. "He wasn't being nice to be nice."

She shakes her head. "No he was just being nice. He wanted to keep me company while I waited for you."

His eyes narrowed at her. Rey's so fucking stupid sometimes. It doesn't help that she's so friendly and boys her age are fucking grimy perverts. Ben wants to push her in the swimming pool for not getting it. He doesn't though. Instead he takes Rey by the hand and decides to treat her to ice cream so she can forget about it.

Rey does.

She's simple, thrilled just to be able to be spending time with him. As it should be.

* * *

Ben takes care of the baby all the way to the morning and waits for Rey to wake up. The second she does, he offers to take her to get some Boba ice cream before Mom and Dad stop by again today. He asks her quickly so she won't notice how sore she was from last night. Rey says yes because she loves sweets/ He runs a hot shower for her and as she takes it, he packs up an extra ice pack in Mini Rey's milk container.

The extra ice pack is for Rey just in case she needs to ice down the bruises.


End file.
